Arguing with yourself

Status
Not open for further replies.
Cool, 🤗🤗🤗, its kind of the same for both of us @SBee
(oh I forgot I buy myself new crystals haha, I don't need much of an excuse, but that helps 😁)
 
Extra Rose Quartz @Auriel?? I sometimes use a good quality ( diluted ) rose oil too, just to settle or try to calm and 're balance things. (But not if over sensitive to scents that day ) Think it's mostly time to let it pass, and doing kind things when we feel up to it. 😍
 
I love my rose quartz (my clear and rose are my pocket buddies 😆)💖💖
 
It means a lot to know of others who are having the same experiences. It feels like the world is a million miles away while looking through the lens of Fibromyalgia. What might we do to spite this demon?
 
Bad times @Badger? Sounds like the pain has ramped up even more on you?
We carry the demon I think. It's not welcome in any of us but despite our best efforts, our tools, or techniques it some days gains the upper hand. Maybe today is one of those?
Badger you are so good at offering and sharing solid advice. Though I can't really help, you know from experience this will pass, even if just slightly but some days we just can't see that? Take today to be kind to yourself if you can and know that yes, people on here do share this unwanted experience and the impacts,both physically and emotionally\mentally. Take care.
 
Hiya @Badger I hope today find a you beginning to work back upwards again.

Weirdly I have began a flare up. No idea why, my body feels a WW3 has kicked off with the RA,OA and fibro all fighting amongst themselves. Am searching for a new word for fatigue because that doesn't even cover it. 😠
So,am back to doing only the very basics for the next few days and hope that does the trick. Hospital next week to start RA treatment so maybe that may bring a reprieve of sorts.
Am taking all the advice everyone on here offers so selflessly. Fortunately my mental health is OK and am being,slow, kind and calm. Hope today is a better day for you
 
It's great to hear that you are facing things with a positive sensible approach, they say being kinder to our future self can be very helpful. I'm sorry to hear that pain wise it's rough at the moment. That level of fatigue definitely needs a name of it's own. It can feel like the plug has been pulled / my legs have switched off. Hopefully they can be of some good at your hospital appointment.

I'll hopefully catch up with a friend tonight and will take it easy in the meantime. It's been difficult with pain and stress.
 
I do have a few words for that pull the plug fatigue @Badger but best not print them on a public forum...! It's a case of moving about the house knowing where the nearest resting place is. Fingers crossed a few days of almost zero activity will help. Am on double ice packs on wrists which is a first for me. Still smiling ( mostly) even if it's with gritted teeth.
I like the thought of being kinder to our future self.

even if today remains hard for you Badger, Look forward to hopefully catching up with your friend - I think little bursts of light are stronger on the dark days.
 
Last edited:
Badger said:
What might we do to spite this demon?
Click to expand...
SBee said:
We carry the demon I think.
Click to expand...


I have found that if I call my fibromyalgia a "demon" or in any other way separate it from my self or call it something bad or evil, it only makes things worse for me because that sets up a thought process and set of feelings about fighting something, being in an adversarial relationship with something. Fighting something is always, without exception, stressful. Stress increases fibromyalgia symptoms for pretty much anyone with fibro, ........at least, I have never heard of anyone whose symptoms are not increased by stress. And on top of that, the adversarial relationship that one creates for oneself by naming the condition a "demon" or something like that is an adversarial relationship and fight with oneself.

Fighting with myself, with something that is actually a part of me, is not helpful in my experience. I think that maybe if it were a tumor or a parasite, something that was actually foreign to the body, it wouldn't hurt to hate it and fight with it, although I don't know if it would help. But fibromyalgia is systemic. It's part of me, and came about because of factors in my own life. It is, in part, my body's way of communicating with me.

I tried hating it and calling it bad, at first, and that didn't help me one bit. It only made my life worse because I was going around feeling at odds all the time with my own body. Hating takes energy. fighting takes energy. If it helps someone else, of course I have no argument with that. But things changed for the better for me when I stopped calling it names and acknowledged it as part of me, part of my body's functioning, and started instead communication the best I could with my body and taking care of myself. I took that energy I had been using feeling adversarial and fighting with my own body and used it in constructive ways.

After all, fibromyalgia is not a thing separate from myself....it is myself, in this time and place. The more I can accept it and accept everything else in my life the more I can relax, and the more I can relax the fewer symptoms I usually have. The degree to which I can fully accept what is, in this moment, is the degree to which I can have peace of mind.
 
Very well said thank you, I hope to develop that relationship in future, it would be nice to feel the benefit.
 
Badger said:
Very well said thank you, I hope to develop that relationship in future, it would be nice to feel the benefit.
Click to expand...
You can. And you can start today if you genuinely want to.

The first step is to stop all use of that negative terminology, and to stop thinking of it as something you have to hate or "Fight". Instead, every time your thoughts go there, turn your thoughts towards your own body in a loving and kind way. What I did (you may find this useful, or maybe something else will work better for you), is I started thinking of my body as if it were a vulnerable little animal. I chose an animal because I love all animals and am not used to children, but maybe thinking of a child works better for some people.

When my thoughts went to that kind of negativity, I would turn away from that and think of my body as a little vulnerable soft furry animal, who was in pain and who needed love. And I would ask my body what it needed right now to feel better. I'd talk to my body (not necessarily out loud, but sometimes), and I'd speak to my body as if I were comforting a hurt puppy. It felt odd and weird at first but I kept doing it anyway. I'd get a fuzzy blanket out if it were winter, a heating pad. If it were summer I'd get a cold iced drink. I'd light a candle or get out a favorite book. I'd call one of the dogs over and have a cuddle session. I'd do whatever I could that might soothe my body, my mind.

Doing this did not by any means necessarily make my pain go away or even feel better in that moment. But it did stop me from creating the stress of hating something that is actually a part of me, that is actually when you examine it, a form of self hatred, which is very harmful. And by doing that, over and over, it eventually became a habit. It takes practice but it's worth it. Now I no longer need to do fuzzy blanket and so on (although I might if I feel like it), but I do still "talk" to my body nicely when I am hurting extra bad. I ask myself what I need to feel better, and sometimes I get an answer and then I do that, whatever it is.

This is part of what I have done to manage my fibromyalgia. It's just one of the many tools we can develop that will help. But it's a very important one.
 
@sunkacola
I am certainly appreciating my body a lot more in recent weeks\months. I think a trigger to that for me was a guided meditation for giving gratitude to your own body.
In the past I did feel slightly ' separate ' between my body and my mind/conscious thoughts. Now I do see myself as more of a whole, and appreciate that my physical body actually does an amazing job given all the health thrown its way. I often say to others for various health conditions that it's not as if any of us actively  chose to have these conditions.

But I do personally feel we carry these symptoms within us as much as we do say our hearts or lungs. That's reality, i is, ( for me) when the mental health gets subjected to more than usual that negative words or terms come more into play?
On a difficult day mentally it can be hard to escape such words - they are harder for me to deal with in a constructive or gentle manner than it is working with some of the physical symptoms? It's more immediate, intrusive . They need time to pass.

Saying that, on a recent drs appt after discussing a quite stupidly large array of health problems, asked how my mental health was - and I said given all that's going on, effing amazing really. I think anyone one with just a single chronic health issue is. I really do.

Now, when I have completed yoga or meditation practice I now thank myself, my whole self if that makes sense.
 
latterly when I have a major flare I retreat to my computer/radio room and type Gaza into my browser seeing the pain and suffering in that place usually makes my pain of no consequence
 
SBee said:
I do have a few words for that pull the plug fatigue
Click to expand...
@SBee I'm not sure if I've seen others use that term, like the energy going down the drain like the bathwater when the plug is pulled, is that what you mean?

I've used that description so often, but not sure if the ones I mention it to actually get it.

I've fought with fibro for decades, and near sent myself around the bend in the process. Since diagnosis, I understand a lot more of the why's, and I am trying to be accepting that it is what it is and work with and around the dragonising gremlins as much as I can.

At the moment I have a workload that must be attended to, no option in that, and I know it means a crash later, just hoping it's later than sooner. I'm taking breaks whenever I can, the things that can wait are waiting, and I'm trying to be gentle with myself, so as not to aggravate the darling little gremlins :D :D :D 🐉 🐉 🐉

I know I'm a bit fatigued when I find my eyes close and I have great difficulty opening them. So,, I go a different track until I brighten up a bit, then back to the slog ;)

When I become aware that I am standing there, trying to figure if I was coming or going (literally) and realise I've done this several times, that's time for a full break of 10 minutes or half a day, or whatever it takes.

I think that was sort of on track for this thread, but not sure, and , well, it's done now :D:D:D

Hugs to all of you, haven't got the oomph to check names, but you know who you are 🤗🤗🤗🤗🐉🐉
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

S
I'm going to do something I never do.....
2
Replies
21
Views
251
sunkacola
S
S
Seriously, how can we cope with daily life?
2
Replies
27
Views
1K
SBee
S
S
Questioning my ability to judge pain levels
2 3 4
Replies
49
Views
513
SBee
S
J
so much more pain
Replies
9
Views
584
oliv988
O
lukeyboy2930
HELP NEEDED PLEASE
Replies
5
Views
452
JayCS
J
Back
Top