Hurting emotionally

[JKerner59]

Just got back home today..had been visiting my sister for a few months to helps with my elderly mom....you know, I never thought about how often I rest or nap in my own house but I was hit with a verbal assault from my sister about my health that knocked me for a loop..

First let me say that I am a smoker (started at 40 years old..I know insane) which is a horrible habit and yes, I know I need to quit. That said..I never really thought about the way I live...meaning resting a lot when I can or sleeping due to the fibro...it's just my husband and I (and the dog) and we are both home bodies so I've never thought about anyone being offended by the way I live.

OMG! I woke up from a two hour nap, walked into the kitchen, and my sister just laid into me...you are always sick...you sleep too much...it's the smoking....it was UGLY! I was so taken aback..this happened last Wednesday and I have felt like I wanted to throw up since then due to the emotional impact the tirade had on me. My sister and I have always had a great relationship (so I thought) so this is killing me.

I try not to say much about the pain I am in at times with fibro and how the fatigue affects me and for some reason the past six months, I seem to be getting infections (sinus, strep, tonsilitus)....

Plainly said...I felt like a piece of stepped on toilet paper when she finished her tirade...like it was ALL my fault that I don't feel well...thank goodness for this forum...I think we try to act as normal as possible under the circumstances we are faced with each day...

thanks for the ear!

 

[ramsvcu]

I can relate to how you feel. My co-workers dont understand my pain, so I have stopped talking about it. My family didnt have much sympathy either. I think they cant understand how bad it is and think I am just complaining for the sake of complaining. Even my pain specialist doesnt get it. I think people have to feel the pain for themselves to be able to relate.

 

[snckrs]

You are not a peice of stepped on toilet paper. All the horrible things you are feeling about youself, you are not those horrible things. I do not want to speak ill of your sister, but she obviously doesn't understand fibromyalgia and what you go through. I think all of us since beign diagnossed with fibro have had a family member go off on us. And it is obviously hurtfull menteally and emotionally. I am sorry this happened to you and if you need anything. You let me know. Snckrs

 

[Loftpat]

I'm sorry your sister went off on you. It's hard enough at times to feel physically decent without emotional stress. Hugs.

 

[Trellum]

I can relate, I thought that my boyfriend being completely careless was bad, but at least he doesn't verbally assault me. I feel so sorry for you tho. It really hurts when that kind of things come from the people you love and care about the most. I truly think your sister didn't mean bad tho, I think she actually meant good, she is probably very worried about you... so I'd try not to take it so personal if i were you.

Sometimes our loved ones have a funny way to show us how much they care about us, I think this is the case here! I just think she is worried, but didn't think thru how she wanted to express that. She used a very wrong set of words, she might not even know it... even up until now.

 

[JKerner59]

Thanks everyone for your kind comments...the support helps my huritng heart!

 

[DDavies]

The stress of caring for your mom also plays into your sister's mood. I'm not saying it excuses her behavior in any way; I'm saying it plays a part and this isn't all about you and what you may/may not have done. Don't take responsibility for other people's actions, you have enough to worry about.