How do you deal with frustration?

[debw]

Frustration with this disease, in my opinion is about the worst part of the whole thing, aside from the pain. Between weird things happening and doctors that don't understand, listen or have a clue about what im going through. Last week, Sunday, about noon my knee started to hurt, by 4pm I could barely walk or put any weight on it and it was extremely tender to touch. My physical therapist didn't know what was going on and my doctor was quite perplexed as I did absolutely nothing to cause the excruciating pain i was having. By Wednesday it was gone, except for a very, very slight tenderness. Talk about frustrating, the past 15 years of my life have been like that, unexplained pains that come and go and of course no one listens to me when I try to tell them it's the trigger points, I'm not a doctor so how could I possibly know what is going on with my body. So, as to how i cope, yes I've done a whole lot of crying, that in and of it self is frustrating, especially when the crying can sometimes come out of no where and you can't stop it. So, lately as much as I can I try laughter, all of my friends know I have fybromyalgia,,a few of them, have it also, but can't seem to get anyone to diagnose them. Most of their women and one man, I've known since we were in high school,a few since we were 5. So we can talk about anything together even to the point of light heartedly making fun of our pitiful situations. The way I look at life lately is I'm either going to laugh about it, or cry about it and I'm really sick to death of crying. While we all know there is nothing funny about this disease it gets to the point of feeling almost comical the things that happen and how they happen. So, my point is, really try hard to do more laughing than crying. I really feel bad for all of us that have to go through life like this, but I refuse to let it get the best of me, my physical therapist told me once I have the best attitude of anyone she has ever seen that has chronic pain.

Oh, and one other thing I do, no matter how bad i feel, is to put make up on and start away from sweat pants. My friend have come to notice, the worse I feel the more make up I have on. When the eye liner comes out, it's really a bad day. Of course my husband of 30 years hasn't figured this out yet, he constantly asks I'm going out some where.
Every morning, tell yourself 'Today I chose laughter'

 

[MEgersheim]

Hi Trellum,

I know this post is old, but I just found it so I thought I would reply as I have been feeling the same way recently. I was just (finally- after having unexplained pain symptoms for about 20 years, but serious issues for 1 1/2 years) diagnosed with Fibro and have been pretty much bedridden for about 6 months. My 5-year-old son is ADHD and Autistic. He goes around telling everyone "Mommy sleeps all day" and it makes me feel even worse. I have lost all of my friends except some who still Facebook me. I am pretty sure most of my relatives (who my Mother took it upon herself to tell about my diagnosis as she does EVERYTHING about my life) think it's all in my head. My step-father, who lives upstairs from us keeps telling me I take too much medication and all I need to do is start walking every day and then after that start going to the gym. Then, POOF! my depression will magically go away from the sunlight and fresh air and my body will feel better from the exercise. He also had to bring up that some doctors think that Firbo is not even real. Such a jerk. My grandmother tells me that everyone feels like this when they get old (I am 33), and I should just suck it up. Then she goes to "Exercise Class", bingo, church, and all kinds of social events with her senior friends. I haven't worked in 1 1/2 years when I was fired from my job teaching at a daycare center as the Lead Toddler/Preschool teacher. They said it was because I was "no longer a good fit" - everyone else knows it was because I was on too many meds to be able to correctly focus on my job the right way. I loved that job. I practically helped build that daycare... I "opened" (designed the interior, placed the furniture depending on where each center should be ie. Reading Center, Arts & Crafts, Dramatic Play, etc.) and then ran three different rooms and then lost it all because of this illness. Some days I just stare at the wall and think about it. I have signed up to see a Counselor and met with him but I just don't understand the point in talking to some kid a few years out of Grad School about my intricate string of problems.

How are things going for you?

 

[GingerR]

I am lucky to have very supportive friends. Most of them have chronic illness themselves. We often think how convenient if we had a sign on our forehead that said we are having a bad day. The most frustrating things to me are (1) people that complain about their illnesses that are temporary and show no compassion to me (I know that is rather selfish of me) and (2) missing events with friends that I want to do but can not do.

 

[mweber]

Hi MEgersheim,
I just read your post and my heart goes out to you. I have fibro and 3 kids under 9yrs old.. My youngest is autistic as well. I am consumed with this disease and pray for it to improve or go away or something. Then I feel guilty because I should be consumed with my daughter's illness and not my own. But I can't move to help my daughter, so it's a vicious cycle.

You have to pick yourself up and just grit throught the pain. I know that's hard....trust me...I do. what kind of meds are you on? Are you able to do any exercise?

 

[GingerR]

Dear MEGersheim, My heart goes out to you, as do my prayers (if you don't mind). The negativity that you are surrounded with is compounding your stress and thus your fibro. I will tell why I go to a mental health counselor. One, she never judges me. She has helped me become realistic about what I can do by listening carefully and then asking questions. She never tells me what to do. She may suggest options that I have, but it is still up to me to decide what to do. She has helped me realize that I have the right to be happy by doing things for myself even when that means saying no to others. I will be the first to admit that I am a slow learner and don't always choose to do the right things to help myself, but the next time I see her she is again nonjudgmental and ready to listen and help. Last thought....if you do not feel comfortable with a therapist for any reason such as age, quit and go to a different one. Not everyone is the therapist for you.

 

[jimmyjjohn]

Crying releases stress hormones, so if you feel like it is releasing for you, then maybe crying is good! I think I block a lot of emotions and can't cry when I really should. I notice that I watch sad movies, cry about them and it makes me feel better. So I must be unconsciously aware that I need to let go.

Thanks