Maybe not Amitriptyline afterall???????

[Fibrofighter39]

Hey everyone I am the amitriptyline victim...or not???? It has been 2 months now off the meds...i have been struggling with in and off crying feelings...for the las 10 days i have been fine relatively ...but yesterday was awful....i was in a really low mood...wanted 2 cry and i actually burst into tears...my whole body was in oain..couldn't do anything...the feeling comes as if something is sitting on my stomach ...i came to believe that màybe it is not the meds??????? Perhaps depressive episodes....i mean i went to 2 psychatrists ...they did not provide me with answers..

 

[sunkacola]

Sounds as if you definitely have depression. Unfortunately, psychiatrists do not help much with that - believe me, I know!

The problem with meds, in my experience, is that you have to find the one(s) that work for you, if any of them do. That involves the terrible process of trial and error and living through the results of the ones that do not work. So, you could try another medication but only if you can stand the thought that it might not help or might make you feel worse. I have heard that bupropion doesn't have as many side effects for people as some others. I take it and have no side effects, but everyone is different.

At this point, this much longer after going off the amitriptyline, your current depression is not a result of taking that drug. I wish I had a cure for depression or even something guaranteed to help but I have had depression almost all my life and if I knew the cure I wouldn't have it any more!
Just hang in there and do whatever you know can keep you in good health. Go outside and get some exercise if at all possible, as that is one thing that seems to help the majority of people at least a tiny bit. And even if it doesn't help the depression, it will help keep you healthy physically. It's very hard to take good care of yourself under these circumstances, so give yourself credit for every thing you can do.

Sorry you are going through this.

 

[Fibrofighter39]

The reasin i believed at first that it is the meds bc it happened a month after taking it...episodes of major crying feelings...my body feeks weak...it feels like sth terrible happened in my nervous system..it is so weird....i was never like that

 

[sunkacola]

Well, as I said it seems unlikely to me that it is the result of taking a medication if it did not come on until you had been off the meds for a month. But it really doesn't matter what the cause is, since you probably won't ever know for sure.

Blaming the medication is fine, but it doesn't get you anywhere - it doesn't help your situation now in any way. You won't use that medication again, right? So now the thing to do is figure out as best you can how to manage, and hopefully mitigate, the depression you have now.

 

[Fibrofighter39]

U r right...i am trying my best to help myself....i have neve exoerienced such feelings thus i am scaredddd...that us why i am trying to figure out the reason...but as u said...i need to move forward and help my self

 

[Jemima]

Hi Fibrofighter,

I'm so sorry you're still not feeling better. As you know, I'm of the mindset that medications can sometimes tip us off kilter - perhaps the medication triggered what evolved into a depressive episode, or perhaps it was two overlapping things happening in parallel. Teasing these things apart can be an impossible task! I would imagine that the good news is that the influence of the drug will not be muddling things anymore, and agree with both Sunkacola and you, that looking forwards and tackling how you're feeling now is the way to go.

As bleak as it might feel right now, those heavier depressive episodes do always lift in the end. It can be hard to picture when we're in the middle of it, but they do go eventually. When we're depressed, the brain changes. The hippocampus actually shrinks, and we temporarily lose some of our neurotransmitter receptors - studies have shown that you can see depression in brain scans! The body can and will rebuild everything that atrophies during a depressive episode, but it's worth thinking of it as giving the brain time to remodel. Focus on doing what you can to support your brain as it gets going in that process. If you feel like it will help, you can always go back to your therapist or try another medication too. There are many ways to tackle depression - we have to listen to our instincts and feel around until we find the right path back up again. Don't lose hope

 

[Fibrofighter39]

Having ppl like u in my life helps me regain hope ...u have no idea how helpful and supportive u have been to me. Two days ago i had a major episode..i cried so much, my body felt so weak ...but i got uo and forced mysekf to take a shower and left the house ..i have 2 be steong for me and my family....my husband is super supportive which makes me strong ..by the way two years ago i lost my father, two weeks after my sister who was diagnosed with cancer 4 only a month died right next to me...perhaps my brain is processing this awful event now

 

[Badger]

Grief can hit hard some time after losing loved ones. Early on the shock can leave us overwhelmed and unable to process. The emotional cycle is difficult to judge leaving us feeling unsettled. It's good to know that you have a supportive partner and encouraged yourself to get some fresh air. It may not feel like it, but these things help and it's okay to do them. My condolences for your loss, I have also struggled with bereavement in the past couple of years.

As others have said it can take a while finding an antidepressant that is tolerable. Amitriptyline takes a few weeks to take full effect and took me several months before sides affects started to ease off. Stopping can leave you with withdrawals too, for some people it can have a negative effect on their moods. I'd agree since there's been some time after stopping the medication it seems like depression has struck and it will take time to pass. Be kind to yourself, take things a step at a time and continue to gently encourage yourself each day. It may be upsetting to break down crying, but it helps to let it happen, let it pass and take some gentle deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.

 

[sunkacola]

U r right...i am trying my best to help myself....i have neve exoerienced such feelings thus i am scaredddd...that us why i am trying to figure out the reason...but as u said...i need to move forward and help my self

let us know if there is any way we can help.

And....just a word from a chronic depressive --- don't let it scare you. Like pain, depression is only what it is. It's not fatal.
And another thing is that depression LIES. Depression will tell you all kinds of dreadful things about yourself and the future and blah blah. but those are all lies.
It's only the depression talking, because no one can predict the future, not even by one minute. Don't believe the depression if it tells you that you are not worthwhile, as that is another lie.

Even if you knew what caused it, that wouldn't help you now, or keep you from having the depression lie to you so that you feel scared. the thing is not to believe those lies. I actually talk back to my depression at times. I say, "nope, you are not going to get me with that, because you are a liar". It only helps sometimes, but you gotta try.

Finally -- you are a person with depression, like being a person with FM. You are not the depression and it is not you.
It is only something you have, like any other illness.

You are 'way ahead of the game if you have a supportive partner. It can make all the difference, and I am glad you have him in your life.

 

[Fibrofighter39]

Wow..thaks a bunch for every single word

 

[Fibrofighter39]

Thank u so much 4 everything

 

[Fibrofighter39]

Thak u so much

 

[Uhura]

I don't take that medicine anymore but do understand depression. Things do improve and please try to get help and hang in there.

 

[Jemima]

Having ppl like u in my life helps me regain hope ...u have no idea how helpful and supportive u have been to me. Two days ago i had a major episode..i cried so much, my body felt so weak ...but i got uo and forced mysekf to take a shower and left the house ..i have 2 be steong for me and my family....my husband is super supportive which makes me strong ..by the way two years ago i lost my father, two weeks after my sister who was diagnosed with cancer 4 only a month died right next to me...perhaps my brain is processing this awful event now

Hi Fibrofighter,

Sorry I disappeared for a while there - I had a wobble of my own, but am finding my footing again

I wanted to check in and see how you're doing? What you said about unprocessed grief resurfacing makes a lot of sense to me. It's wonderful that you are self-aware and intuitive in a way that is allowing you to explore those kinds of influences on what you're experiencing. Doing the work of processing such immense losses takes a long time, but it can also be so rewarding. Sending you hugs and strength!

 

[Fibrofighter39]

Hi
Thanks for reolying
Well..i am on and off...the heavy feelong still comes but i am trying my best