Is Satisfying Sex Possible With Fibro?

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Omg I thought it was just me im so happy to see these comments. Spooning is the only way for me and I sometimes use a knee wedge pillow just to support my leg coz I cant hold the position. Most the time its the fatigue that prevents it I just want to sleep. Hubby is supportive but I do feel guilty like im letting him down
 
Ahhh,, your not letting him down. Ill break into the ladies talk. lol. I went through a bad stint where I was trying different meds and the sexual side effects were all over the board. Some medications I could, some I couldn't at all, some it was painful and some it never ended. My significant other thought it was all her fault and it had nothing to do with her. You just have to find some way that works any sexual stimulation is great, It gives off a huge amount of endorphins which should give you some relief even if its not everlasting. See if you can get him to give you a nice slow full body massage so you will actually be relaxed I think it helps immensely. Good Luck!
 
Would LOVE to have sex again but most of the time it hurts to be touched.
 
cinderr said:
Does anyone else have this problem? I was once sexually active, very active, I now have difficulty engaging in sexual activity. Does anyone else have this problem?(Am I repeating myself or what?!)
The problem is movement and changing positions or just getting in the correct position. There is the added problem of moisture-- or lack of it.
Fortunately my husband is understanding and has his own pain, as well.
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kat,

I do have this issue, my husband and I have been married for 32 yrs, and had a good sex life, but in the past I am hesitate engaging because I hurt most of the time, anyway, I am trying to be more engaging , I have such a lack of moisture as well, I do feel ashamed that I can't preform the way I should , my husband says he understands but I don't think he really does, it is not fair to him that I hold back ,

I really really would like sex back in our lives
 
My husband and I have a great sex life. He has RA so we know what positions hurt and what are the most comfortable. There are times when neither of us are up to it and we understand and don't judge the other person. It does help to have someone know exactly what you are going through and how much pain you are in. I think maybe that's why it's so great. I don't have to worry about letting him down so it makes it more relaxing and enjoyable.
 
It's all about the positions. ;)

I prefer it when he stands at the end of the bed and I can rest my legs on his chest. That way I don't have to spread my legs apart and the angle doesn't hurt quite as bad, inside. Granted, he has to lather himself in KY Jelly. That's the only stuff I can use as everything else burns. I'm also ok, when I lie on my stomach and he enters me from behind.

My favorite position is on top but my hips can only take that for about 10 seconds which, is unfortunate because that's the position that hurts the least insertion wise. Normal missionary hurts so bad. It's like he's made of sandpaper.

Granted, I'm only in the mood about once a month. If I'm in the mood, I'm in the mood. If I'm not, don't touch me. I'm so thankful I have a boyfriend that understands that.
 
cinderr said:
Does anyone else have this problem? I was once sexually active, very active, I now have difficulty engaging in sexual activity. Does anyone else have this problem?(Am I repeating myself or what?!)
The problem is movement and changing positions or just getting in the correct position. There is the added problem of moisture-- or lack of it.
Fortunately my husband is understanding and has his own pain, as well.
Click to expand...

Great thread and it's something I've noticed creeping into my life recently. I am and always have been a very active male, but now more than ever I feel a little afraid at times incase I pull or twist or get a neck injury. Seems to happen so easy now and I'm in more pain for about 2 week after. I'm only 31 for Gods sake.
 
Irish said:
Great thread and it's something I've noticed creeping into my life recently. I am and always have been a very active male, but now more than ever I feel a little afraid at times incase I pull or twist or get a neck injury. Seems to happen so easy now and I'm in more pain for about 2 week after. I'm only 31 for Gods sake.
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Irish I understand because it does make you feel like less of a man. All I can honestly say is take advantage of good days.
 
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I thought I was the only person who had this problem. I love this forum. Thank you all for being so open. It is helping me more than I ever could have imagined.

I have zero sex drive. I never want it, never in the mood. If my husband tries I'd rather just go to bed. If I let him I have the hardest time concentrating and it's almost like I need to convince myself to feel good. It's a lot of mental work for me and just not worth it.

We just don't do it anymore, nor do we talk about it. Healthy, I know. LOL
 
From other support groups that I have joined, the consensus is no. Most women complain that they have lost their sex drive, or that sex is simply too exhausting or painful. Personally I agree with them. I don't get much pleasure from sex anymore, although I don't like to turn down my BF. I will go through the motions of having sex, and try to hide how painful it is for me. Not only is it bodily pain, but now I have vaginal pain as well. I need to ask the gynecologist why I have pain upon penetration. I wish that I could make things change, and we have tried to "spice it up" with toys and lube, but I still have trouble feeling pleasure. I'd say that 1 out of 10 sessions will I actually orgasm, the rest of the time I just can't wait for it to be over. One time, my BF noticed me actually pushing against him, as if I was trying to push him away from me. I think I was trying to stop him from penetrating deeply, because that hurts the worst, especially because he is well-endowed. All I can do is keep trying, I don't want to give up on sex and luckily my BF is only interested about twice a week, because he has pain of his own.
 
lizzie said:
Omg I thought it was just me im so happy to see these comments. Spooning is the only way for me and I sometimes use a knee wedge pillow just to support my leg coz I cant hold the position. Most the time its the fatigue that prevents it I just want to sleep. Hubby is supportive but I do feel guilty like im letting him down
Click to expand...

I also have the same problem, lol! Sometimes I feel soooooooo tired I just want to forget about it, and some positions are too hard for me because I feel so sore most of the time! Specially my legs! After reading all the comments here I feel a bit better tho, because my problems during sex don't seem so big right now.
 
As long as you are abstaining for a period, you will get some libido back. You might not be able to engage as frequently, but the quality should be higher at least. Zincy foods will help, as will resistance training for men. Take a short nap just beforehand, that should help ease the pain too.
 
thupp06 said:
I have no desire for sex. My husband is always making comments about me "getting it on the side" and not wanting to be with him any longer, but that is far from the truth. I just have no desire, I just assumed it was due to all my thyroid issues. Seeing this thread here was certainly not expected! I just know my body is a medical mess and nobody seems to wanna figure it out, the dr's think they can just put me on pill after pill and I'll be ok. I just want to have half as functional as I once was in more ways than just sexual matters.
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I believe we are married to the same man...lol! At the moment I can't get my husband to understand that I love him but he is too rough with me. He doesn't know how to be gentle and is not willing to be gentle. He often comments that just not having sex with him means that I have to be getting it from somewhere else. He has also cut me off completely from everything including snuggling, hugs, and kisses since the first of February, because he is so mad with me. He says he can't touch me anymore for hurting me. Of course you must realize that he also doesn't buy into the fibromyalgia deal. I really wish I had an answer to the original question. If I could just feel intimate enough to have sex. My feelings are so hurt that I have no desire to even go there.
 
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I was having the same issues and still do to some degree. What I found is that many of the medications were causing the dryness and reducing the "interest" in sex. Because it is very important to me, I kept trying different medications. My problem is, I have fibro, chronic pain and fatigue, colitis AND insomnia. After trying some different medications, I was able to get off the "triptoline" antidepressant/pain reducers. Even during the times when i couldn't "get there", my husband and I would laugh about it. He'd work hard and I'd wear out trying, but we kept it light. I always had the attitude that it's important and we'll work through it. I'm now on Cymbalta and Peroxicam. It's better for sex but I still have my extreme bouts of fatigue and pain. But I am now able to thoroughly enjoy it when we do. Unfortunately, I'm the one wide awake after and he's snoring up a storm. Because I suffer from insomnia, this is like a stimulant to my body and the next day I'm totally fatigued and can't function....Very problematic on work days.

Try toys, KY, and keep it fun. We bought a book a number of years ago called 101 nights of great sex. It has some fun things in it. There's also one called 101 nights of great romance, I believe.
 
I found a list of medications that can cause reduced interest in sexual desire. I will list a few of them here.

Antihyperensives, Used to treat high blood pressure. This includes many drugs: Aldoclor, Aldomet, Inderal, Inderide, Esimil, Ismelin, Diupres, Hydropres, Minipress, Minizide, Catapres-TTS, etc....

Antidepressants, Used to treat depression. This includes many drugs: Tofranil, Desyrel, Nardil, Anafranil, Asendin, etc....

Antianxiety, Used to treat anxiety. This includes many drugs: Diazepam, Valium, Chlordiazepoxide, Libritabs, Linbitrol, etc....

Miscellaneous, Used to treat many symptoms: This includes many drugs: Lanoxin, Lanoxicaps, Norpace, Tagamet, Diamox, Proscar, etc..

Be sure to read the information paper that you get at the pharmacy with your medications to see if it may cause loss of sexual interest. :(
 
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