Back again...needing to vent

[catnel]

Well, it has been some time since I was here to vent or just talk. It has been really rough the last few months with the pain and just no energy and lack of sleep. I had been sleeping some better but, that didn't last long. There were some mornings that I didn't know if I could get out of bed. It plays so heavy on your mind all the pain every day and not being able to go out into the world and do the things you used to do with out even thinking about it. It has been hard on my husband also, he does so much for me and I seem to do very little for him anymore, he wants to go places and do things and I just can't....he says he gets it and I know he does but, not even I get it some times....I miss the old me. We are suppose to go camping at the end of the month and I hope I am feeling better so I don't have to let my husband down. I figure I can hurt there as well as at home and it will be good to get out and be a part of the living. I have decided not to go back to pain management and trying a different doctor. I am still working on loosing weight and so far down 20 lbs. but it has been really hard since I don't get enough exercise and move enough....I do chair exercise and stretches and walk with my walker when I can....I am going to have to go see knee doctor and have my knees done and my hips, knew it was coming but now I can't hold off anymore. Well, I think that is all for now. Thank you for listening and I wish you all many blessings and pain free night.... that would be nice

 

[User Requested Deletion 36696]

20 lbs weight loss... we should all be so lucky! Hang in there! You're not alone!

 

[Jemima]

Hey catnel,

Great to hear from you again

Congratulations on the 20lb weight loss! You've certainly got fantastic self-discipline for committing to an exercise routine like that if you're having trouble with your knees and hips. You said you're finding it difficult, but that's really a lot to drop, so give yourself credit for such a big win. It's also worth remembering that losing weight too quickly does tend to backfire - slow and steady wins the race!

I'm sorry you've been going through a rougher period. When sleep is illusive it's so frustrating, because you know that your pain would be less if you could rest, but the pieces just won't fall into place.

I also have trouble trusting that my partner can carry the burden of picking up my slack. I think we have to try to keep the faith that they love us, and even when it's difficult, they would never want us to suffer more from worrying.

Good luck for the camping trip. Perhaps if I tell you that you're going to feel much better just in time to go, that will make it so? Worth a try!

Good luck too for the pre-op stuff. These things are always scary and grim to get through, but hopefully well worth it in the end. Modern medicine is pretty epic these days - if only they could fix a fibro body as they can a hip!

Thank you for the kind thoughts. I hope your night was just as restful as you wished for us all

 

[catnel]

Thank you Jemima. Your words are always so kind and helpful.

It is 4 AM here and I have been up since 3 AM and still can't go to sleep. I am just thankful that I got some sleep.

I am proud of my weight loss but it took me a while to loose it. I also have IBS so the food I eat now is limited and that has been hard to get use to.

My husband is a good man and he does protect me, just wish I could do more for him.

Yes, telling me that I will feel better for the camping trip does help, thank you for planting that in my mind. I want it to be a special time for both of us.

I will see the knee doctor in Sept and go from there. It would be nice if they could fix a fibro body....maybe some day.

You take care and thanks again for listening and your kind and helpful words. wishful thinking.

 

[Jemima]

In the face of such adversity, you are moving mountains - even if you can't see them! I hope you find sleep again