Anxious when my works inquires about my recovery date....Anyone else ?

[Lyndsey]

Hi guys,


I am on long term disability right now, but my human resource department at work also does follow ups with me on a monthly basis. Does anyone else deal with this or suffer from anxiety as a result? I find it so stressful to be asked about my expected return to work date, or if I have an idea. I have told my work a few times respectfully that i really don't know what to say as my symptoms only seem to be progressing and becoming worse. I am scared of the future and don't even know if I will be able to continue in the current field I am employed in. I constantly feel bad that I am off (as I have said in other posts sorry guys) and my husband always says not to feel bad as I have paid into disability and it is there for a reason. Even on my good days which are so rare, I feel guilty on those days. God, I wish I could just get over that feeling. Like others have said in the past to me in posts. I just find it helpful to come here and vent and hear others opinions and support, even if i am asking the same questions. At nighttime, which is the worst for me, I don't know who to talk to or where to turn so this is where I inevitably end up.

I am wondering if anyone else experiences the anxiety that I do over the illness itself and other things as well. The sleepless nights, insomnia, heart palpitations, nightmares, pain, and on and on.

so as time goes on I seem to find myself with new and worse symptoms...My worst symptoms are the chronic migraine and body pain. Lately I am having some serious stomach issues. Always having to use the washroom after I eat and having an upset stomach, throbbing in my joints, particularly my knees, shoulders and hips. Hips are the worst! Anyone else get this throbbing pain and or the IBS feeling? Sometimes my husband is like "really? something else". Honestly its so hard at times to explain to him and others. I know even myself i think half the time really something else!

Then I find myself wondering is this just going to continue to get worse and worse over time as it has for the past few years. The anxiety I have it very bad cant sleep at night and find that I am so anxious i don't even want to go to my bedroom cause i know i wont sleep. Such a vicious cycle. With also being diagnosed with PTSD, I wonder what came first the fibro or the PTSD. Are these two things actually related? I find it all so confusing.

Anyways, thanks to whoever takes the time to read my rant.

Thoughts and prayers with you all tonight, and thanks for your ongoing support and comfort. Hope I can also be there for you all when needed.

Lynds

 

[cmetryme]

Lynds, when you return to work is up to you and your doctor. ask your doctor for the answer to the HR peoples question.
now i would say to HR it's indefinitely until the doctors find something to fix me. next month say still indefinitely. stop getting worried about the call
it only makes your pain worse. i believe tearbear is from the HR field. try to talk to her in PM.

rant on !

 

[Lyndsey]

Thanks cmetryme for the post Ok I will definitly chat with her and see what she says. Hope you are doing ok tonight !

Thanks,

Lynds

 

[cmetryme]

your welcome.. im on day 58, PM increased my subsys some more. then she sent me to ER for hear attack. my BP was up. 214/128.
I told her it was due to the uv lights(lupus) and stainless sink and paper towel rack on the wall in her exam room. she told me to go to ER because her license was on the line and it was doctor protocol. i begged her not to send me and to no avail made me go or stop meds cold dead!

Well i went so she didnt lose her license. i could get meds from another non caring doctor, but she cares.

What a nightmare! Stainless steel every where to include the garbage cans and chairs in the lobby. i had to run out of the Exam room crying and screaming from the pain 4-5 times to keep from passing out. the doctors and nurses say the never seen it and how do we even examine him. the doctor even asked me what i wanted him to do! like im the one with the medical degree! so they laid me down on the bed(shocking the hell out of me) put a copper thing under a band aid (didnt know it was copper until i asked them whats under there its made my hand numb) and hooked me up to a machine.my BP dropped. they said thats not hypertension or a heart attack, its a Panic attack. then he/doctor thought its from then metals and my heart beat rising making my BP go up. so my wife arrived at the hospital and said im taking him away from the metal and he will be fine. they all seemed so happy she arrived. she was glad they didnt try to arrest her again! happy ending, neither of us went to jail this time.
So i get home and im in severe pain and none of the it can kill me drugs are working! im just meant to be surrounded by idiots and suffer the rest of my life in pain. i hope you never have to go through anything even close to that.

Thanks for caring and supporting me during these hard times.

 

[Lyndsey]

Oh my god that sounds horrible a definite nightmare. How are you now?I hope you are doing a bit better

Lyndsey

 

[Forgetmenot]

My work had me ring in every day.and would ask me every month if I was coming back. Like you I found it very stressful and felt like I was some kind of cheat.after a year of going back and going sick I had enough and left work as they couldn't sack me ,but staying was just to stressful

 

[cmetryme]

Lynds. thanks for caring. im better for now. better= level 6/7 pain. big hugs!

 

[Ruralchick]

I had PTSD. My then 2 year old daughter had cancer, lost her kidney, had max radiation and 15 mo. of chemo. My other daughter, 8 mo. at the time had tests to see if she had lupus. Had to wait 3 days for the results. I thought I was losing both my kids! Just cried and prayed all the time. (not in front of them).

After it was all over, everyone healthy again, I fell apart. I cried during hymn singing at church, felt I had to run out of places with many people, no matter what it took, etc. An older friend, military wife, identified it. My husband was travelling all over, spent 6 mo. in Saudi, 6 weeks in Sweden, China, Russia, etc. and so on, for work. (process control computers). He was home for the beginning cancer therapies.

I also took care of livestock and had an emergency appendectomy while my dear one was across the world. The fibro began 20 years later. So I don't think one leads to another.

It took awhile but the Lord brought me through it. Such a close, loving relationship with my heavenly Father!

 

[tamya29]

Hi guys, I'm new to the forum, but found it to be a tool of comfort already. I can truly attest to lindsy about the panic of losing her job. I'm always dick and my co workers make it known they hate when I'm out. I hate it as well but what can i do about it. My husband is driving me up the wall because he is tired of me being in pain. This week has been very bad, i have suffered from muscle fatigue like never before. I have no energy to do anything. I'm losing weight alarmingly fast. Does anyone have any suggestions or help they can give as to what aleviate the pain.

 

[Ruralchick]

So sorry for your difficulties and welcome! You didn't mention if you are seeing a doctor for the fibro. No 2 people are the same. With either natural, herbal/supplements, OTC or Rx, it is trial and error.
Have you had your Vitamin D levels checked? Usually you have to ask the Dr. to do this blood test. Many fibro sufferers are low in D. It can affect pain levels, as does lack of sleep. Try to have a good sleep schedule going to bed at the same time very night.
A good
B-complex helps me w/ energy as does sub-lingual B-12, (don't take this by swallowing as it won't do any good.) Can also get the injections. Worth a try.

Magnesium malate (the malate helps the mag. to work) helps relax muscles and the mind. Heating pad, hot showers/baths are better with lavender oil or bathe "bombs". Even a drop or 2 on your pillow will help you relax.
Opiates may or may not help but many of us are on Cymbalta,or Lyrica, or Savella, muscle relaxers, etc. it runs a large gamut of possible drugs and combo of all.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to make this harder. It really helps to have a good Dr. to help you work this out.
Sometimes just Advil helps me with pain. But it is not for every day use of course.
Could you give a little more info to narrow the field?

Glad you are here, this is a safe place to vent and complain. I rarely burden my husband anymore with fibro issues. If I'M tired of it I know he is. How can anyone who doesn't suffer with this possibly understand?
Ok, I need help here--who knows the web site- you don't look sick- to give to tanya29?

Welcome again and we hope to hear from you more. Someone is always around to answer questions, concerns.

 

[brahmatorry]

Hot bad before sleep. Amitriptylin 50 mg and thick foam matras help me ease the pain so probability for sleep increase. For the fatigue i dont know what to do either. Good luck.