a depressing doctor visit

[CatherineTheGreat]

Thanks guys. I haven't seen a doctor in almost a year. The doctor I described was the last one I saw. I am doing a bit better than I was in my post several months ago. I've really only found relief by way of stress management. I like to call it "stress budgeting." I have a slow drip of stress dollars I'm allowed to spend, or else I have to take out a loan, and paying back the loan is miserable. If I'm not careful, the "interest" on the loans adds up. I took out a loan the other day so I could help my folks move some furniture and I accounted for it so I could pay it back the next day. I still can't do a whole lot regularly but I'm able to sit upright for most of a day and read and whatnot, which is a major improvement. Really the best thing for me is just setting up boundaries and limits for myself.

I haven't really left the forum, I've been reading it once or twice a week, I just haven't felt I had much to add. I think my humor and outlook sometimes comes across as pessimistic, even cynical or misanthropic. I don't think it is. (Okay, cynical, maybe.) And while I personally have found contentment through it, I'm not sure what I have to say will help other people. Haha.

 

[sunkacola]

Hey, Catherine, as far as I am concerned you are welcome to post whether or not you are being "optimistic".

I think that it does people a grave disservice to expect them to be upbeat and optimistic all of the time. Even people who are completely healthy and have easy lives cannot maintain that attitude all the time and it is basically oppressive to expect anyone to do so. Plus, some people are natural optimists and others are not. I think it is unreasonable and potentially damaging to demand of another, or expect of ourselves, to be "upbeat" if that is not how they feel, and only leads to a person feeling that how they truly feel is unimportant or has to be hidden.

A forum like this one should allow space for us to express how we are feeling and how we see things, whether that be on any given day cynical, upbeat, depressed, optimistic, or pessimistic. It's only through being true to ourselves that we can help each other.

I like your analogy of "taking out a loan" in terms of energy. I also have to budget my energy.....I think we all do. It is part of what we learn in order to cope with this syndrome. One thing I have learned by coming here is that I don't have it anywhere near as bad as many others do. To hear you say that you are happy to be able to sit upright most of the day really makes my heart hurt for you! I don't have it near that bad, and it makes me wish I could give you some of my own (budgeted) energy! It makes me grateful for what I have.

So please don't feel that you shouldn't post here.

 

[medicmurphy]

@Catherine, you may be surprised what you can contribute. Look how happy we are to hear from you since your last post? You sound much stronger and commented you feel a little better. Those observances are encouraging to us because we know you have severe FM. That's a HUGE contribution. This forum also provides an outlet for those days you need a kind word from a fellow sufferer. So please know that your are welcomed and needed. The more the merrier. At the end if the day none of us has the answers, but we are all walking the Fibro walk. Cheers

 

[diamond]

I am pleased also to hear from you Catherine as i am another FM sufferer grateful to have any hours upright out of bed...even if its sitting in a chair. I had a few days up and doing a little now im back to mostly in bed...i try soo hard but even sitting hurts so much and i feel quite ill with the effort that after a few days of this effort i seem to go backwards..its so frustrating and almost impossible to stay upbeat...maybe act for other people sometimes but on here you can be yourself.

I have been try to walk more around the house and set small goals...it went a little better for a few days then bam i just have no strength to barely function.

I also feel like im failing myself and sometimes stop contributing to the forum when my situation is so negative.

Nice to hear from you..please add your views we are all here to support each other whatever stage of fibro we are at.