a depressing doctor visit

[moe1959]

My last Dr. visit I was asked what I do for fun.........oh survive. ahhhhhh!

 

[sunkacola]

moe.............that made me laugh.
not that it is funny, but I understand.

Fun? Almost forgot what that means.

The problem, as I am sure you know, is that "fun" usually involves something that takes longer than the amount of time that most of us who suffer from this disease can sustain energy and attitude at an appropriate level for the fun to take place.

for instance, if you need to drive somewhere, be around other people who are talkingtalkingtalking, be in a noisy or super-lit place, walk a whole lot, stand around a whole lot, be in a restaurant that perhaps doesn't serve much you can safely eat, any combination of the above or other such things, and then drive back home again, all of that takes up a lot of time and energy.

Most of us will run out long before the "fun" is over for other people.

 

[Tipnatee N]

But those place sometimes can cause anxiety and bright light can hurt fibro migraines very badly. As far as food goes you should try the world most expensive coffee Kopi Luwak , or some crackers with Casu Marzu Cheese. They are considering very luxurious in the world food market. So relax �� ok? Stress is bad for your digestive health.

 

[Sagey]

Hi Moe,

That is kinda funny, because walking down to the mailbox and seeing what I got in the mail is my fun for the day lol



Sagey

 

[sunkacola]

I think my fun lately is to tease Sunkacola :mrgreen: as you can see.

Just teasing! I do love you very much Sunkacola :wink:

Please get your "fun" in some other way, OK, tipnatee?
It is not appropriate to "tease" other people that you don't even know, and I don't like it.
So, stop.

 

[medicmurphy]

IMO, Tipnatee does not come across as teasing either. She come across as an attention seeker.

 

[sunkacola]

IMO, Tipnatee does not come across as teasing either. She come across as an attention seeker.

Thank you Medicmurphy. I would agree.

Although I will never understand it, some people think that it is fun to try to stir things up on a forum and say things deliberately to try to get a rise out of other people.
Probably just in order to get attention for themselves. We have all have seen this before.

Then, when they are called out on it, their response usually is "gee....I was just having fun! Where's your sense of humor!", to try to blame others and get even more attention.

But it's not appropriate, nor is it helpful or nice to pester or attempt to bug people.

People here have enough to deal with, without someone trying to needle them all the time. Maybe tipnatee will see that what she is doing is unhelpful and annoying and she will stop.

 

[medicmurphy]

Forums such as this one serve a purpose, to provide support and information. Members from different walks of life, countries, customs, etiquette, life experience, temperaments and so on join for their own reason and agenda. On the positive side, the information exchange can be both valuable and helpful. On the negative side, people's personalities, including their temperment and sense of humour can be very challenging to recognize, be completely missed or misunderstood. Communication via the net is indeed a difficult process. Given time we will eventually learn a members character. Jokes can be difficult to recognize.

In my experience being a moderator on another forum I have witnessed new members participate like a house on fire. They've "done it all, know it all, have all the answers, always have something to say etc". Just as in real life, there are people who need to have the attention of the group. they are bolstered by it. When on a forum, we must take great care to be polite and respect boundaries. Don't expect people to "get" our sense of humour. You may not be funny. Really!!! Not everyone on forums may join for the right reason. For example, not everyone on this forum has a medical condition. There is one or two I hold with a questionable eye. I tend to stay away from them. There are trolls and catfishes everywhere. They join forums for their entertainment, or because they are bored......or maybe lonely.
To them we are their association.

Moderators can help in monitoring the behaviours of such ones. Meanwhile we can communicate to the hooligans that their actions are not funny nor appreciated.

 

[medicmurphy]

Now you're calling sunkacola a diva. She asked you politely to leave her alone yet you continue. Now you are behaving like an insincere bully.

People are going to have different opinions about things. To respect this shows wisdom and maturity. To argue a point reveals a combative immaturity. You appear to have a target on her. You talk relentlessly about your depression, anxiety and suicidal tendancy yet, these sad life experiences has not yielded sympathy for another member who lives with similar challenges. Instead you run rough shot over her. Why? You do not in the least come across as teasing. You come across as sarcastic. Big difference. If this is not your intention then show your maturity and approach our sunkacola with the respect she deserves instead going on about how YOU want attention because you feel you deserve it. As I said, people's personalities and characters are slowly revealed on a forum. Prove me wrong and be kind towards another forum member who is struggling daily with a condition you say you have.

 

[CatherineTheGreat]

I have a suspicion that -at least for some doctors- when their normal methods of treatment don't work (i.e. medication) they set out unreasonable or unmaintainable goals so when you fail they can blame you for not trying hard enough instead of their own lack of effective treatment. The last doc I saw had me try a medication that caused me enormous fatigue, and gave no pain relief. The plan was to try it for a month, come back, try something else. I did that, saw him again, and he said try another month. So I did, because, hey, he's the doc. So I come back, same story, except this time he wants me to start doing some kind of aerobic activity. I say okay, and I stick with a 5 day a week light jogging routine for the next month. That was the best I could manage. All the while still taking this medication that knocks me out. (I had to take it before I went to sleep.) So I come back and after 4 months of this I report that none of it helped and, in fact, the exercise made it worse. He says I'm lying and that I didn't try it, berated me for wasting his time and told me he wouldn't see me again.

I think more doctors should be willing to say "I don't know how to help you" instead of offering pie-in-the-sky remedies.

 

[medicmurphy]

Great to see you on the forum Catherine. First let me commend you for all your efforts. I'm sorry to hear that once again you are left without answers. I went back on Cymbalta after a fall and winter where I spent half the time bed bound. All it did was leave me more fatigued, nauseous and with a chronic headache. Gross. So, after a Herculean 4 months I weaned off. If the med is not having its desired affect I'd rather take nothing. So, what are you doing now? Have you improved any? I remember you could hardly walk down the hallway.

I agree with your comment about Dr just admitting they have no answers. The alternative stance can leave us patients feeling we're doing something "wrong" in not getting better.,

 

[sunkacola]

Hi Catherine!

Gosh, what a story. I completely empathize with you and your experience with doctors. And I want to thank you for your story as well, because it really hadn't occurred to me that the doctor was setting out unattainable goals for me in order to be able to blame me.

Now, I don't know if that is what my doctor is doing with me, but just even knowing that this is a possibility kind of lifts the heavy weight of failure off my shoulders. Obviously, your doctor was setting you up for failure, perhaps even on purpose, and he was clearly blaming you, which in my mind is totally unprofessional not to mention lacking in the caring that doctors are supposed to have......but all too often do not.

the truth is, doctors are not trained how to be truly human with their patients - how to admit they don't know, or admit they were wrong. They are trained to act as if they were gods, and in part that may be necessary in order for them to do their jobs, I don't know. Being a doctor must be hard, and no doubt they have to harden themselves somewhat. But to lay blame on a patient the way yours did, when clearly you were doing your best.......to call a patient a liar.....that is just wrong.

Like Medicmurphy, I would welcome hearing about how you are doing now, Catherine, and if anything is helping you. I am still trying to get back to exercising. I stopped because I developed a horrible stiff neck, and now even though that is better it is hard to get myself to start again because the temperature is so high it doesn't make one really want to exercise! but.....I feel a bit like a failure because I told myself I was going to work out three to five days a week for a month to see if it helped, and I failed to do that. <sigh>

 

[medicmurphy]

Sunkacola, a goal of 5 days a week may be far too much. Two to three days is plenty. Please don't be discouraged. With Fibro, everyday gives us a different "prezzie", a surprise of sorts. Like a Pandora's box. Take each day as it comes. If we can't do something, then fine. Tomorrow is another day. I totally respect your goals. You can still achieve. The fact you're not sitting all day everyday without even trying to help yourself is amazing. It can be so easy to do. Fibro goals must be adapted to our unique case. Each of us have different severities. Some days just extricating ourselves from bed is a ginormous achievement. I just emerged from 6 months being mostly bed ridden. Sucked the big one for sure

 

[sunkacola]

Thank you medicmurphy.
Your encouragement is much appreciated.
And you are right.....I just need to try to do what I can each day and not get down on myself.
And for you.....six months mostly bed-ridden! Ack. that sounds too horrible to contemplate! I am sorry that happened to you. That is so hard to come back from. But I bet that you will. You are obviously a strong person. Glad that we are here and can encourage each other. I know for me, it makes quite a big difference. I feel more able to try again to work out, just because someone is encouraging me. funny how that works.

 

[medicmurphy]

You're very right sunkacola. We all need positive encouragement. You're very welcome. I derive strength from the positive words and efforts my fellow Fibro's make. The spirit of not giving up is very powerful.