Hi timkav,
Welcome to the forum - it's great to have you here. I'm not a doctor, but I can share some of what I've read and understood over my fibro journey so far!
Interestingly, reactivated Epstein-Barr has been connected with fibromyalgia several times in research. Some theorise that fibro is a virus-triggered condition. However, because about 90% of people carry Epstein-Barr, I think the water tends to get a bit muddied, and research so far has not established a concrete and conclusive tie-in. I've often thought about getting tested when in a flare to see if it is reactivated in my body, and it's something we've discussed here in the forum quite a few times.
The symptoms you describe do sound quite a bit like fibro pain - we each tend to see it manifest a little differently, but hip and flank pain is pretty common. My hips are one of my worst areas in a flare, alongside my knees and neck. Some people find that a particular area kicks in first as their fibro fully manifests, and then other body parts join in the chorus over time (depressing, I know, but may give you an idea of what to look out for!) or that pain moves around the body over time. Fibromylagia flares are very definitely triggered by stress.
It's great that you've seen so many specialists - it sounds like you're being very proactive - but I'm sorry you haven't come away with a diagnosis. Did anyone explain to you why they didn't think it could be fibro? I'm assuming that they ran tests to rule out anything else?
One thing I'd also say is that because my pain was much worse in certain areas when my fibro first started, it took me a while to fully recognise that other places hurt too - a dull ache can get drowned out by a deep or sharp pain. Trying to tune into your body can help you get to understand what's going on. BUT, it's really important to work on managing the way you respond to pain. If the sensations are triggering a stress response, then you need to work on that, because you'll get stuck in a re-triggering cycle. Fibro pain is horrible, but it's not a threat, so we have to train ourselves to recognise its presence, but then let it come and go with as little worry as we can muster.
There's quite a bit of info around online about lifestyle changes for managing viral infections. Certain supplements can supposedly help too - I tried a few, and didn't get anywhere with those, but we're all different! One thing that's for sure is that optimising self care will help your body wrestle Epstein Barr back into its place. When you're chronically stressed and run down, that's the moment when your immune system might falter and a virus like EBV is more likely to get a foothold.
As for fibromyalgia, the exact same can be said. Self care is an absolute must for getting the condition under control. Our wonderful forum moderator Sunkacola put together a
fantastic guide to self-management for fibro, which is pinned to the top of the General Discussion section of the forum. I really recommend reading through and implementing those things - being diligent in these areas can make a huge difference, and will always benefit your wellbeing.
As far as whether you have fibro or not, I'd say come at this from the approach of trying to support your body as it deals with the virus, and see where that leaves you. If your recent stress has left your body vulnerable, then figuring out how to offset that stress using the tools Sunkacola suggested, and anything else you come across, will hopefully help you get back to a baseline. If, over time, you find that your chronic pain continues, then it seems plausible to me that fibro is what you're dealing with. At that point, it would be up to you to decide whether your doctors had done a thorough enough job in ruling out any other possible conditions, and whether you wanted to pursue a proper diagnosis. Ruling out anything else that needs treatment is very important, and you might feel that a diagnosis can help with peace of mind. Some people find certain prescription medications helpful, but for a lot of us - me included - drugs were a disaster, and self-management and supplementation have helped a lot more!
As you figure out what to do, you might find some of the info in the forum handy. This place is a goldmine for insights into managing fibromyalgia. You can use the search function to find previous discussions about EBV too. Wherever you land, I hope you feel better soon. If it is fibro, don't feel too disheartened - while there's sadly no cure, with time and experimentation this is a condition that we can learn to manage pretty well, and in doing so we become part of a community of people who support each other with incredible heart!
I wish you luck figuring things out!