Day 34
Submitted by 1sweed on Mon, 11/24/2014 - 22:02
Of late I feel as if I am going in circles and the stress of it is wearing me down. In the summer and early fall my days off from caring for mom were spent shopping or visiting a friend for a few hours. Now that winter is upon us my free time is spent in the kitchen cooking up soft foods that contain healthy foods for mom and her colitis digestive health problems. Four days spent in hospital due to bleeding and now still trying to adjust to menu changes and now she has had two mini strokes (TIA's) in less than a week and spent another four days in hospital.
Mom is home now but mental status is different and leg weakness is causing some problems and she has forgotten how to bend her knees to sit on her potty. This is the hardest for me to handle her weight as I try to get her to bend knees and sit down. She just tries to sit and stiffly lands on the chair and my muscles ache from trying to get her down safely.
So I am at my wits end trying to prevent falls and protect myself as well from me getting hurt. The sad part is she has been asking for her husband, her beloved man, my father who died many years ago. She wants what I can not give her and so she now cries for him and wonders why he does not come home. Dementia is a very bad thing to get and a very hard disease to care for. :( :(
Now this is not a pity party for me or her, but a way for me to take this sadness out of my head and heart and share it so the emotional pain in my mind can heal. With fibro and all it's difficult symptoms and even with our brain fog at times, we can be thankful that it comes and goes and does not linger like it does for my mom. I miss each part that I lose of her and pray for her everyday as well as, pray for the courage and strength to continue to be her caregiver until death do us part.
Thanks for listening. I hope you all have had a good day. :)
Mom is home now but mental status is different and leg weakness is causing some problems and she has forgotten how to bend her knees to sit on her potty. This is the hardest for me to handle her weight as I try to get her to bend knees and sit down. She just tries to sit and stiffly lands on the chair and my muscles ache from trying to get her down safely.
So I am at my wits end trying to prevent falls and protect myself as well from me getting hurt. The sad part is she has been asking for her husband, her beloved man, my father who died many years ago. She wants what I can not give her and so she now cries for him and wonders why he does not come home. Dementia is a very bad thing to get and a very hard disease to care for. :( :(
Now this is not a pity party for me or her, but a way for me to take this sadness out of my head and heart and share it so the emotional pain in my mind can heal. With fibro and all it's difficult symptoms and even with our brain fog at times, we can be thankful that it comes and goes and does not linger like it does for my mom. I miss each part that I lose of her and pray for her everyday as well as, pray for the courage and strength to continue to be her caregiver until death do us part.
Thanks for listening. I hope you all have had a good day. :)
Comments
Anonymous
Sun, 01/29/2017 - 01:48
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Hello, I've been reading a few of your most recent posts and just wanted to tell you that I think that you are an incredibly giving person. I admire your strength and perserverance. I hope that you can find a few moments each day to reflect on the good in your life and hopefully this will give you peace. God bless and take care.
Anonymous
Sun, 01/29/2017 - 01:48
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I am a new member today and quickly looking at recent posts to get an idea of what this forum is all about. Reading your different posts I find out more about your moms problems with dementia then your fibromyalgia. Just a suggestion from a 75 year old man that has had fibro for over 10 years and having frids suffering from mental states. You have a very difficult and heart breaking decision to make for both of you. If your mom is in a state where she does not recognize you and you are having problems taking care of her, it may be time to let professionals take care of her, nurses with the training and a facility that will give her care 24/7. If you have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and you have it and are being treated properly with MDA to help, then Do you honestly have the capacity to properly care for Hera. Just a thought. Good luck to you and may god give you the strength and stamina to go on.
Anonymous
Sun, 01/29/2017 - 01:48
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Thank you for your reply. Yes, I do talk about my daily struggles and since this is my blog section it is alright for me to speak of these struggles here. I talk about my fibro throughout the forum. My mother knows who she is and who I am most of the time. It is a burden on me, but it is time well spent and time I will never have again. I have visiting nurses and extra aids coming in during the day to help care for her. This is hard and some days are harder than others, but I want to do this for as long as I can. When she does not know anything and has no control over her bowels or bladder, then if she is not due for hospice, I will put her in a nursing home.
As for my fibro, I suffer without complaining much as no one here at home cares and I would rather spend time supporting all of you.
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