I guess I'm still stuck in this "worrying" game of what is causing these severe symptoms???
To get out of worrying about worrying and praps reducing the worrying quite a bit, I'm wondering if it's possible and helpful for you to upgrade the worrying by calling it "legitimate interest"? Which from what you say you also have, by having properly researched things. Also seeing that glass as half full too: My wife always said I didn't worry
enough, and is now oversatisfied by me going to docs, but also researching everything, because we know docs are just as dangerous as helpful for me. So it is good, if you can, to carry on getting the worrying motivate you to get explanations.
But also, what I'm again missing here is to get the worrying to motivate you to
work on the symptoms even without an explanation...?
I had mentioned having a good medical workup but what is enough? Possibly never enough for me?
Similar: That's not necessarily overworrying, again at least a good portion of it is "legitimate interest". At this stage your workup
isn't enough. And when main things have been checked, you might want to find further clues by getting further single symptoms checked (I did). And you might want to get 2nd and 3rd opinions (I did). That's when it may get a money problem or you realize no doc can help you further or that their exams are actually harming you, you need manual therapists and psychotherapists (incl. again switching several times) to help decrease anything that is possible (I did), and then you may come to the stage that these have helped quite a bit, but also don't help any more, or harm (I did). And still it's not enough and new things'll come up, but a desire to get peace of mind might grow despite all the symptoms - preferably now, rather than later, so "radical acceptance" of everything that you have no capacity to solve would be necessary....
I started off Monday doing well by the end of the day I was a mess with Jelly legs and soreness and cramping sensations.
Brilliant that you started doing well! The end of the day is not that relevant, what is relevant is the point in time when things went wrong and how it happened. You're your own sleuth here, you won't get help from docs for that, at most from very good psychotherapists, and you don't need help either.
An example, I hope you can apply it some way:
In my anxious days it was a big turning point to me when I let a stressful workday pass thru my mind and realized that it was actually only a 3 minute interaction that in my mind ruined everything and caused massive phobic pain, very similar to now my fibro Ache. From then on, I always looked for these terrible minutes, tried to see all the good things that happened before, what went well. Then analyzed the terrible minutes and put them in their place - in that case it was a silly, insolent person who shamed me to try to get something from me. Then made sure I didn't distract, but got this very clear in my head, relaxed and rested on my oars for having had a good day before that and for enduring that idiot, making sure it doesn't carry on eternally.
I "know" I am overanalyzing my symptoms which is not helpful but I can't imagine I am causing them. I know the mind body connection is powerful but this seems so extreme.
So maybe you're not overanalyzing - or pretending that you're not can reduce it.
But absolutely NO WAY is your analyzing a
cause of the pain.
What worrying does is
increase the pain, hinders us from getting help or getting out, by laming us, making us waste time ruminating, prolonging it. What it also does is make a problem out of it. It puts a capital P in pain, puts the suffering into it. Pain is pain, and that doesn't have to be a problem. You know what I mean? Of course it's not nice. But it's controllable. Once we start making more of it than it is, it takes control of us, instead of being a warning sign that we need to self-care better.
You say overanalyzing.... Does that word fit? From what you've said you do seem to have been searching. What about plain analysis, like thinking about the trigger of the stress and pain on Monday? Or I don't know if you mean alternative words like (over-)dramatizing or catastrophising - studies (esp. on FM) have shown that women tend to this more than men, but recently I read the opposite in a study.
I know my wife dramatizes and catastrophises and I definitely don't, I play this all like a peaceful game of rummy - if the rules change, I learn that quick, I may lose a lot of the time, but sometimes I win, it doesn't really matter, as long as I'm in the game, that's what counts.
also do need to address my career situation which is not helping matters at all.
Ah, you can pat yourself on the back (I'll do it for you, for starters) for acknowledging this - that's enough for the moment, we can't re-start our life in a flash. There are many things not helping - one thing leads to another. Some obvious, some hidden. Some we should have taken care of before or once the pain started, but shoulda, coulda, woulda... Now we can take stock, by identifying and prioritizing the triggers of our symptoms and tackle them bit by bit. It sounds as if you can roughly describe your symptoms pretty well, but real analysis would mean continually working on it by comparing with others and watching them and even delighting in being able to detect details.
It was a very helpful and satisfying revelation for me to realize by feeling/sensing that my joint problems are 'just' the tendon insertion points, to pinpoint differences between pain types and their triggers (like local vs. overall), that I can distinguish and use my energy profile. Before that also to overcome my worries, and now to have applied techniques to be happier than ever etc....
If anyone overanalyzes
I analyze my symptoms and triggers/treatments more than most - cos I don't think analyzing can be overdone anyway, unless it becomes an end in itself, with no further purpose. Doctors who don't know me tell me that focusing on them may harm, I quickly prove them wrong. But that's because I use that analysis for improvement, however slight - an arrow, rather than riding on a merry-go-round seeing what I might change, but not changing anything.