After three long months without having what I would consider to be a good day, yesterday I felt great! My pain levels were down, I actually felt like communicating with my co-workers instead of acting like a recluse in my office all day and even laughed, but it was always on my mind-what did I do yesterday to make me feel like this? Can I repeat it if I do everything exactly the same? What if I overdo it today and tomorrow is twice as bad as a normal day? I think it's sad to always have this illness on my mind. I really am going to try and enjoy the next good day I have, but I was wondering if everyone else feels like that. Do you have any tips to help not be so afraid or consumed with thoughts that you allow yourself to appreciate the good days when you have them?
Hi crystalrosepaul,
I totally relate, and feel for you so much on this. The mystery element when we can't figure out why we feel better or worse on certain days is really frustrating. That feeling of fear is something to watch out for, because it carries stress with it - a huge trigger in itself!
I was stuck in a vicious cycle of being afraid of my body, and having a really massive stress response whenever my symptoms either flared up, or did something I couldn't figure out, which in turn triggered my fibro. A therapist helped me make a massive breakthrough by introducing me to the idea of "
radical acceptance". Emphasis on the
radical!
He got me to sit with my pain, tuning into my body, and to try to accept that each feeling is just there, but that it can't hurt me. As awful as we might feel, that pain is just a sensation - it can't damage us in any way - and it will recede again. When we have a good day, we can try to just live in the moment, and enjoy it as much as we're able. The more we accept how we feel, the less likely we are to trigger ourselves more by dumping stress hormones into our systems.
Of course, trying to pace yourself physically when you feel better is wise, but once you begin to trust that a flare will always go down - and that triggering one is bound to happen sometimes - you can begin to let go of the tension that might be making it all even worse.
Since I grabbed hold of the idea of accepting my pain, it has actually been much more manageable, and flares have been much further apart. *I'll add the caveat however that over the same time period I've experimented to find supplements that seem to help, worked on stress management and sleep, and slowly built up a daily walking routine.
You'll come across sunkacola talking about radical acceptance here on the forum too - it's a powerful thought, so perhaps give it a try. I also wish you many more good days ahead!
