Stem cells and heartbreak

[Deleted member 39947]

Hey everyone.

My family member has cancer. They’re looking to me as a possible match, but the procedure clearly states those with health conditions, such as fibromyalgia, are recommended not to go through with it. I understand their concerns, and I wish they’d understand mine.

My fibromyalgia, for several months in the year, is what I’d label “mild/moderate”, as I know some folks need a cane to get by or cannot work at all, whereas I work 8-10 hours a week (standing for 4+ hours is rough on my lower back, feet, and legs). As recently as February I did have trouble walking, and contemplated purchasing a cane, for sure. but, I digress.

so here I am, knowing full-well it’s not a good idea to do the procedure, to protect my own health, and, because of prior and current toxicity, I may have to sever contact with my family, who are now using other family members to guilt me. It hurts knowing that my family member is scared and dying, as my physical body begins to manifest agony every time I think of this circumstance. I’m not able to help, I explained it to the central communicator in the family this last year. Originally, their doctors didn’t need to do the procedure, but they’ve changed course — my condition hasn’t.

I’ve seen cancer-stricken patient families setting up social media attention for them, trying to seek a match - I don’t understand why the hell my family, with some members having $$$ in the bank (perhaps for incentive), aren’t seeking someone to be the match they need, and not waste their time on me!!!!!!!

thank you for reading - god bless.

 

[Deleted member 39947]

Oh, apparently I’ve placed this in the wrong section, sorry!

 

[sunkacola]

No worries, Creative, you have not put it in the wrong place.
I am sorry to hear your family members are pressuring you. There's nothing like family pressure! You are right to put your own well being first, and I hope that you are able to stand your ground. There's no point at all in one family member endangering their health in order to try to help the health of another family member......it doesn't even make sense.

I understand about toxic relationships, and I know from my own experience that they will do nothing but exacerbate one's own health issues. I have had to cut contact with certain people, including family members, who were toxic to me. Believe me when I say the relief was tremendous once I did that, and I have not spent one minute feeling bad about it.

As I see it, no one in the world is required to put my best interests ahead of their own, and no one gets to ask me to put theirs ahead of my own. That is a choice we can make for another if we wish to and if we feel we can afford to do so, but it is not something anyone should ever expect, let alone demand.

If you want support, you have come to the right place. We are all here to help each other.

 

[Deleted member 39947]

God bless you, Sunk’, I really needed to read this right now.

As I see it, no one in the world is required to put my best interests ahead of their own, and no one gets to ask me to put theirs ahead of my own.

I felt the same way, but the guilt was bearing heavily on me. My family has been an immense burden on me, and I’m actually in the process of a name-change, as well. I want to shave off the toxic. Once I began focusing on what’s happening in the now, I noticed my symptoms lessened in intensity.

Thanks again, I’m glad I reached out to this forum.