Sexual Question for the Guys

[snckrs]

Okay so I'm having this issue. Having this issue for a long time. Never wanted to talk about it with anyone. Never even thought of putting it on here till I saw the post about "Satisfying Sex possible with Fibro?". So alright guys let me get to my problems.

Is anyone else having problems "putting up the flag pole"? Right before I started having pain and problems, I had an issue with getting the flag pole to stay up. I mean just all the sudden the flag pole would no longer be standing. This happened so often I went to my doctor. He said it was a prostrate plroblem, gave me some pills (not the kind with the v on them) and that issue stopped for about a month. Then it came back, along with the start of my major fibro symptoms and issues. So the flag pole issue got put on the back burner. Then I devoloped problems urinating. Saw a urologist. Did tests, and the nerve damage in my back and spine has givin me a nuero deficent bladder. In short, I cant urinate like 50 percent of the time I try. He also recommended seeing a specialist about the flag pole issue. Again, I had other problems more urgent so that was put off. Then I started having problems "getting the frosting out of the can". So ive dealt with that on and off for over a year, cause I lost insurance. Well Now I have insurance and going back to the urologist. Now my problems have progressed to a completely broken flag pole unable of even standing for a minute, and havent been able to get the frosting out of the can in a long long time. SO, before I go back to the urologist, have any other guys with fibro experienced any of these issues? Any problems with equipment faulire? Also any problems unrinating or is it just me. Mine has gotten so bad only 25 percent of the time do I go. Im going to have to have a stimulator implant to fix that issue.
Givin all these issues, I am feeling a major drop in my masculenity. And its not like I can go out and lift a bunch of heavy things and do a bunch of macho things and feel all masculene again, thanks fibro. And hell its not like I have a girlfriend. When most women find out I have fibro, I might as well say I have the plague, they run away that fast. Which also hurts my manhood. So anybody sharing my pain or have advice?

And if you dont want to post, then privite message me. I understand its a delecate issue

 

[Lana]

Hi I am a Female with the same problems, I have lost all desire for sex I am completly dead down there, it happend when I started taking Lyrica. Just want you to know that it also happens to us women to. There are alot of women that can over look your health problems and just be happy to be with you. Keep looking for her cause she is out there.

 

[snckrs]

I must apologize for my ignorance. I didnt know, well never thought that women would have the same issue. My apologizes.
I got ten times worse after I took cymbalta. Thank you for your kind words, they are good to hear.

 

[Trellum]

Soooooooooooooooooooooo sorry to hear you are going thru this, I can imagine how frustrating it is! Actually a friend of mine was having a similar issue with the peeing part, he doesn't have fibro tho. The urologist he saw said it had something to do with a muscle, he had to undergo several tests and so on. So the dr. gave him the prescription for some really expensive pills... he couldn't afford that for too long so now he is praying for the best outcome.

As for your other issue, one of my friends who is on Cymbalta has well experienced the same issue. Actually one of the many side effects of that medication is erectile dysfunction. So not surprised at all. This is why I hate taking meds and have decided to go natural for as long as possible, don't want other areas of my life to be affected by those meds, but I understand some people really need them.

Don't worry, the right one hasn't shown up yet, she will eventually! When the right one finds you she will love you for who you are and will not care about your fibro, yes, people like that exists! Believe me! You just have to be patient

 

[snckrs]

It is extremelly frustrating. Ive been put on pills for the urination part, and it does nothing. Doesnt help at all.
And when it comes to the sexual part, I can not begin to describe my frustration and feelings of inadequacy. Being 21 years old and not being able to satisfy a woman was just devestating. And at that point I was in a relationship and it started major relationship problems. She wanted me to get the little pills with the v on it. I didnt, I wanted to know what the problem was. Which is when they said it was the prostrate. She didnt believe it and still wanted me to get pills. My doctor even wanted to give them to me. I refused. I think the building should be put up natuarlly or not be put up at all. Now, givin my condition, Id find a way to satisfy my lady one way or another. And i know you all are saying there are women out there that would accept me for who I am, but I really dont think they are out there. Most of the women my age, 24 in a week, want a bad boy, or someone that disrespects them. Then the smart ones who actually go after good guys have alot more good guys to choose from that dont have the issues I do. Plus wouldnt it be better for her to be with someone who can take proper care of her, then me who sometimes she will have to help? Idk, I guess Ive convinced myself that I am going to be alone the rest of my life.

 

[Trellum]

Yeah, same issue with my friend, he tried those expensive pills... they seemed to works the few first days but then nothing. Haven't asked my friend if he also has the other issue, but I really think he does, since some of his talks in the past kinda hinted that. But his problem I think is caused by that issue I told you about.

I understand your frustration It must be hard having to deal with something like that at that age. I can imagine how you feel, can't say I know for sure because I'm not a guy in that situation, but I did see how that can affect a man. It can also affect the woman self-esteem, it did with me. I often wondered if it was my fault somehow, I know it sounds crazy!

I applaud the fact you decided not to take the easy route... I'd have also like to know what was caused that issue. As for women... well, some women would love to met a truly good guy, issues or not, but to be honest with you isn't so easy to meet a truly good guy. I thought I had met a really good one, but it seems I was wrong. So, believe me.... is super hard to find a truly good guy. Not as easy as you think. But i know that for you it looks like that, because you are going thru all this (want it or not makes you see things a bit darker), which is super normal.

As for those idiots who want a bad boy, don't even think about it! They're not worth it. It's just a phase, went thru that... got over it. Most smart women do. Some don't, but those aren't really worth it.

Don't feel bad about Some women don't feel like they need to be helped in any way, some women just want to find someone who loves them and make them feel very safe. So don't worry, my mom says there is someone for everyone out there I have actually seen that. I know is hard to really believe what I am saying, but you will remember my words when you do

 

[Lana]

Hi Snckrs, The women you are describing sound like real losers and I agree with Trellum. They are not worth it, just because you have Fibro and other issues does not make you less of a man. You can have fun like go to the movies or dinner and just enjoy being together talking. Don't waste you time with loser women. I fell in love with my husband because he made me laugh and I always loved to just be with him. It wasn't about sex or what he could do for me. He was my best friend and I just loved being with him even if we just went for a walk that's all I needed. I hope you realize that those women are not worth your time. Trust Trellum and I we are women, and we think they are LOSERS.

 

[Trellum]

Wow Lana! I couldn't have said it better! I think he really needs to meet nice women! The good ones aren't easy to find, just like the good men out there. I think he will be just fine, he just needs to find to the right one Glad you stepped in, girlie!

 

[snckrs]

You lovely ladies are true women. Thank you for the kind words. It does help.
Now when I started having these issues I was dating an older woman. I thought since she was older, she would be more mature. I was wrong. Very very wrong. Lol. Her and I would get into arguments because she believed I didnt truely have feelings for her and thats why I was having issues in the bedroom. It was so aggervating when she wouldnt believe me and still didnt believe me (idk about now, i havent talked to her in over a year).

So no Trellum, what you say about wondering if it was your fault isnt crazy. I am sure that it would effect every women and I could see that it effected my ex. She wouldnt let it go tho, which made things even worse for me. To the point I lost all desire to even try to have sex. So there are so many other things that could cause a man to have that kind of issue. So I would not worry about that.

 

[Trellum]

Glad we could help I know what you mean, I've met guys in their 40's who were as mature as a teen... NO freaking kidding! Some people never learn. An example of this is x person I know, this person I know has had such an easy life, so easy, no health issues... never faced with tough decisions.... never faced with truly bad experiences. As you can imagine this person is SUPER immature and selfish. This person is older than me btw.

That is awful! I don't blame you for losing interest, I would to! She should have supported you and never make a big deal. When I was faced with the same situation I just acted like nothing happened, very normal and dint say much. I didn't want him to... well, start feeling conscious or even more nervous. I did ask him the first time, but that was it. I did wonder if it had something to do with me tho, lol, but I kept that to myself. No need to make your partner feel worse.

 

[Lana]

Hi snckrs, Have you thought of going to some kind of group for Fibromyalgia, I think the only people that really truly understand us is people with the same illness. Thats the only thing I can think of, I wish I had more advise. Try not to let it get you down, you sound like a really nice guy. Take care of yourself because your health is really the only thing that matters. You will find her shes out there some where

 

[alexisfinch24]

Well, this lady also would like to share her opinion with you gentleman. I believe these women you have dealt with were vain horrible ladies and, did not deserve to be treated like this. I have a decreased desire so I believe it is a part of our disease or at least related. Keep your heads up this too shall pass.