Sex

[Carl]

I am a husband of a diagnosed spouse.
This is about to ruin our marriage. I have tried to be patient however I’m at my wits end. We haven’t had sex for 11 years!! As I’ve said before, I’ve tried to be patient but that’s over. I’ve tried to discuss this with her but get no where. Suggestions!!!

 

[Creola17]

Do some research so you understand because it is hard even for the people suffering to understand. Have patience, be kind, it hurts like you could never understand. Love your partner with ALL of your heart not just sex. Most important, if you can't be helpful and supportive then leave. Why torture someone who's hurting. But if you really love them, take care of them.
I have the sweetest most understanding husband in the world. I know how lucky I am.
The last couple of days I have been in agony but he makes me laugh and we work through it.
I hope it all works out for both if you.
(((gentle hugs)))

 

[Creola17]

I wanted to add that I know how hard it is on my husband when I have a bad flare up. I don't know what I would do without his support.

 

[JayCS]

I'm the diagnosed husband: Always keen, but since my full flare Fibro only just about able, at least now in the winter. Same goes for even just lying closely next to each other. My wife has other problems which make it hard for her, which she's working on. Marriage counseling (sex counseling would be another possibility), therapy, solo sex, soft/gentle hugs and kisses and just heaps of love and doing lots of other things help us. I'd recommend that, instead of "discussing". Good counseling should take an invisible chronic disease in account.
And I second everything Creola's said...

 

[Flexecif]

Hello. Sorry to hear that your marriage is going through a rough time. However, it is not always about sex. Yes, I know it is important and it's a big deal for some. But I don't think your wife wants to torment you the way you are feeling right now. I don't think she likes to see you suffer but it's something she can't have control over. She is already suffering physically, and I don't think it would help to let her feel that everything is going to a mess because of the illness she never asked for in the first place.

Wishing you well and I really hope you can sort this out.