HordesOfKailas
New member
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2014
- Messages
- 7
- Reason
- Friend
- Diagnosis
- 00/0000
- Country
- US
- State
- Maryland
Hi everyone. This is my first post, so let me introduce myself. My name is Kailas and I'm dating a girl with fibromyalgia. We've been together for roughly five and a half years and she was diagnosed just about a year ago, when she was 21.
I've done a lot of reading about how to support someone with fibro (blogs, articles, etc), but recent events have made me want to get a more...personal take on things. She fell down a short flight of stairs a few days ago and bruised her butt, and just tonight she fell off of my front step and hurt her knee. The first fall was problematic because it made sitting still uncomfortable and damaged her morale. I assumed the fall was just a fluke, but this second one really worries me as she's dealing with enough without adding on extra pain. Obviously I do the stupidly simple things like making sure she has a comfortable, padded seat and getting stuff for her when she's sore and in pain, but I'd like to do more.
The problem though is that she always tells me not to baby her, which I understand. No one wants to feel helpless at 22 and since she's a real trooper, it can be difficult. Basically, I'm trying to find a happy medium where I do everything I can without making her feel weak. She's helped me through my own series of health problems (mostly resolved luckily), so I really want to repay her properly. I guess my central question is this: Are there any special things that your significant others do (or you would like them to do) that make a meaningful difference to you? I mean, I know the bullet point stuff that comes up in every other article, but I'm looking for the smaller things that maybe make a bigger difference than they should. I know this is a super open-ended question, and I hope I don't come off as stupid, but I'm really at a loss. The standard boyfriend stuff doesn't cut it and all of the articles haven't given me as much insight as I had hoped. And I know, the first thing you'll say is "Talk to her!". I have, but I don't get a whole lot of helpful feedback. I'm sure this is because she doesn't want me to treat her in a way that constantly reminds her of the fibro. And since I can't experience what she's dealing with, I figure that my best bet is going to the source, which is you guys. So thanks a lot for any help, big or small, you can give. I plan on marrying this girl, so I really need to have a game plan in place before much more time goes by. Also, I apologize if this is posted in the wrong section. I wasn't quite sure where this belonged.
I've done a lot of reading about how to support someone with fibro (blogs, articles, etc), but recent events have made me want to get a more...personal take on things. She fell down a short flight of stairs a few days ago and bruised her butt, and just tonight she fell off of my front step and hurt her knee. The first fall was problematic because it made sitting still uncomfortable and damaged her morale. I assumed the fall was just a fluke, but this second one really worries me as she's dealing with enough without adding on extra pain. Obviously I do the stupidly simple things like making sure she has a comfortable, padded seat and getting stuff for her when she's sore and in pain, but I'd like to do more.
The problem though is that she always tells me not to baby her, which I understand. No one wants to feel helpless at 22 and since she's a real trooper, it can be difficult. Basically, I'm trying to find a happy medium where I do everything I can without making her feel weak. She's helped me through my own series of health problems (mostly resolved luckily), so I really want to repay her properly. I guess my central question is this: Are there any special things that your significant others do (or you would like them to do) that make a meaningful difference to you? I mean, I know the bullet point stuff that comes up in every other article, but I'm looking for the smaller things that maybe make a bigger difference than they should. I know this is a super open-ended question, and I hope I don't come off as stupid, but I'm really at a loss. The standard boyfriend stuff doesn't cut it and all of the articles haven't given me as much insight as I had hoped. And I know, the first thing you'll say is "Talk to her!". I have, but I don't get a whole lot of helpful feedback. I'm sure this is because she doesn't want me to treat her in a way that constantly reminds her of the fibro. And since I can't experience what she's dealing with, I figure that my best bet is going to the source, which is you guys. So thanks a lot for any help, big or small, you can give. I plan on marrying this girl, so I really need to have a game plan in place before much more time goes by. Also, I apologize if this is posted in the wrong section. I wasn't quite sure where this belonged.