Perspective

[Cat_Lady]

Hey everyone. While I was sitting here at my computer, feeling frustrated and sorry for myself, a thought just struck me: there are a lot of people who have it much worse than we do. I know you probably don't want to hear that, but it's important to consider. For example, someone with cancer experiences a lot more pain, sickness, and agony, in regards to suffering through something as horrible as chemotherapy. I know someone who has gone through that. In elementary school, my best friend's mother had cancer. Because of the chemo, there would be days she couldn't get up to do anything. It totally wipes you out.

This isn't to diminish or downplay any of the frustrations and struggles we all are going through. It's just something to think about, to help us get through the day. For me, it helps me to just calm down, take a deep breath, and to just be grateful for what I do have. Try not to focus on the negative.

 

[diamond]

Hi Cat Lady I agree and slightly disagree.

Cancer can be life threatening and the treatments aggressive....but in another way you have a chance to go through treatments and recover for years ...in many cases people then go on to live to a normal old age.

My mum has had breast cancer twice...stage 4 and stage 2 ...11 years apart. She had chemo and radiotherapy and a mastectomy twice.

I saw her through all the treatments and whilest very unpleasant the chemos impact of complete wipe out was for about a week every month for 6 months and my mum recovered fantastically within 1 year.

She was well for 10 years in between and is 3 years the other side of her second mastectomy doing well aside from old age creeping up on her.

Even she would say the impact of my fibromyalgia where i am house bound and wiped out in bed for hours every day is far worse....i have done 8 years of pain and now i can rarely walk and struggle to get from room to room ...can't chat for long as its rigid in my jaw face throat and my voice goes for days.....am on the loo in pain with either IBS or interstitial cystitis many times days and night.

There must be many like me.

So i think it depends on how bad you have fibro. That's not to down play the terrible suffering that many have with cancer when the outcome is not so positive.

There is a video on you tube where a doctors actually compares how ill their patients feel and considers which they would choose if they had to have an illness and even these top specialists are saying their Fibro and ME patients are often iller than those with HIV or undergoing chemotherapy.

Controversial...i will probably get shot down in flames.

 

[Jordan]

Willow I do agree with you mostly in the sense that each person has there own trials and tribulations to go through and some people are stronger than others so all illnesses take different effects on every person. I've never heard someone complain that they would rather have cancer then fibro so while some diseases are worse than ours and some aren't as bad, we should never downplay them because they take their tolls on each individual person but I do see where you are coming from cat lady as I think that a lot but my family some who have had cancer and my doctors have told me not to do that because it is tough to deal with. Sorry this whole paragraph may seem jumbled I'm in a fog at the moment.

 

[diamond]

On reflection of my post i am not suggesting that having fibro is as bad as having terminal cancer or cancer where you battle for years while undergoing chemo,surgery, and radiotherapy. That would be ridiculous and insensitive....i can only relate my own quality of life to how my lovely mums fortunately turned out where she has been able to return to a completely normal, active, pain free life.

 

[Nexi]

My dad had cancer, went through treatment and 5 years later is healthier than me by far. My daughter since birth has been on and off chemo for treatment of a different disease not cancer but the side effects are the same. She is still healthier than I have been.

Each person will have their own view and take on this controversial subject. At the end of the day, nobody can outright quantify how much pain a cancer patient is in versus a patient with fibro...period. You can only base your assumptions solely on YOUR pain.

 

[Ruralchick]

May I chime in?

I agree with cat lady. And we don't have to be specific comparing our lot with another's. I often think, it could ALWAYS be worse! What if I didn't have a loving husband, or a place to live,(fibro and living in the street-now that causes me pause),the list could get long. I suppose I do it as a form of making myself buck up, to not be wallowing in self-pity, etc.

 

[diamond]

I think it was a mistake for me getting involved in this thread ...you are right its not correct to do direct comparisons. We have to get on with our lot and appreciate the things we do have like a comfortable warm home....loving partners and children etc...and hot water bottles ha ha my best friends of all!!!

 

[Forgetmenot]

I agree with cat lady on this one. Even thought our pain never goes and make life a living hell .we no it won't kill us .i no on bad months weeks days ,everyone of us feels life's crap , but give me Fibro over cancer any day.x

 

[Cat_Lady]

May I chime in?

I agree with cat lady. And we don't have to be specific comparing our lot with another's. I often think, it could ALWAYS be worse! What if I didn't have a loving husband, or a place to live,(fibro and living in the street-now that causes me pause),the list could get long. I suppose I do it as a form of making myself buck up, to not be wallowing in self-pity, etc.

Thank you, Ruralchick. We all have our own battles to deal with. I guess what I was trying to say, really, is that it is a dangerous road to allow ourselves to be mired in a negative perspective. It leads to nowhere good. But I appreciate all of your responses. I really appreciate humor as well. That always makes life so much more bearable.

Keep your heads up, and always try to find the joy and beauty in every day. And if you have adorable kitties like I do, find time to snuggle with them.

: )

 

[Trellum]

Cancer is way worse if you ask me... the feeling of total hopelessness is something I don't wish upon anyone. Only those who have gone through this personally (not see a loved one go through it) will know what I am talking about. Going through something like this can totally change you mentally and emotionally as well as physically, of course. But really I am more afraid of going through that again than anything else... because well, cancer can kill you if not caught early... I saw how my grandma died... she was in agony for months... in her last day she started to bleed through her mouth and ears. Thank God I didn't see that. I prefer fibro over cancer any day.

 

[gryfalcon]

Hear, hear!

This is something I've discussed with my sixteen year old daughter. She has had Primary Juvenile Fibromyalgia since she was an infant, and also had a huge bout with CRPS which tries to flare occasionally, and CFS/ME.

She asked if she would ever have a "normal" life, and my answer was to look around her. Every friend she has is facing a challenge. Extreme poverty. Housing insecurity. Child and parent have Seizure Disorder. Parents who are divorced or divorcing. Child has Endometriosis. Parent who has borderline personality disorder. Two parents -- both on Meth. Child has ADD/ADHD. Child is pregnant at seventeen. Child has Bipolar Disorder. Foster child, not quite as good as the real children. Parent with cancer. Child was molested. Child was raped. Parent is anorexic. Child has trichotilomania. Child has OCD and Misphonia. Child has autism. Child has cancer. Child requires a liver transplant. It goes on and on and on.

My point is not to suggest we put rape on a scale and weigh it against Fibro or a liver transplant, but that having a life that is not "normal" is more "normal" than having a life that is "normal". It is "normal" to try to forge out some kind of life for yourself, even if you are missing half the pieces, or the pieces don't quite fit.

She has commented that she feels lucky that it was her, and not one of her friends such as the one who has two parents on meth (Her lottery prize in life was a teen pregnancy), that got stuck with this disease, because she has been fortunate to have all of the resources to cope with this, and many of her friends would not have had that. She has also commented on the silver linings, the way this disease diverted her from the typical path, sending her into virtual school, freeing up some time and energy for art, music and writing, and causing her to reflect and explore the meaning of life, more that she might have done if she did not face this disease, giving her a greater depth of understanding. And, when you've faced Fibro, and coped, it tends to put everything else in perspective. Really big challenges seem smaller after that.