Older adults and worsening symptoms

[SBee]

Hi @dorlanski In the UK gps will not prescribe dose naltrextone for fibromyalgia, it is unlicensed for muse other than substance addictions so it seems.
I think like most medications it really is now each individual reacts to a medication, both in a positive and a negative way.

If you type a med into the search it may give some others past experiences

Oh and welcome !

 

[SBee]

100% @sunkacola agree with misunderstanding as to what it is actually like living with fibromyalgia or other chronic illnesses.
Yesterday when I was trying to explain to someone very close to me I got ' well, it's all in the head anyway isnt it '

I would never DREAM of saying such a thing to anyone in pain or struggling with constant relentless pain and fatigue. And they see me like this every bloody day.

So unbelievably upsetting. Made me feel so small and insignificant

 

[sunkacola]

100% @sunkacola agree with misunderstanding as to what it is actually like living with fibromyalgia or other chronic illnesses.
Yesterday when I was trying to explain to someone very close to me I got ' well, it's all in the head anyway isnt it '

I would never DREAM of saying such a thing to anyone in pain or struggling with constant relentless pain and fatigue. And they see me like this every bloody day.

So unbelievably upsetting. Made me feel so small and insignificant

It is truly mind boggling that people say the things they do. Another circumstance that I have, unfortunately, discovered is prime time for people to say the most appallingly unsuitable things, is when your partner dies. I know people can be very ignorant and when they don't know what to say they say stupid things, but oh man I never thought anyone would say some of the things that I heard from people. And most of them, some of the most stupid and hurtful, were not even intended to be malicious.

There's no way just to be not upset by this kind of thing unless you can harden your skin to that point, which most people can't do very well, especially when you are already hurting emotionally and/or physically and therefore are vulnerable. Although, I can tell you I have much thicker skin these days than I used to before my beloved partner died and I developed fibro. But I also just like people less in general, which is too bad, but what can I say.

I guess my only advice is to slough it off as quickly as you can.....however fast that can be and for everyone that is different.....and remember first and foremost that whatever someone says to you that is insensitive or hurtful says something about THEM, but never says anything about you. It's not even about you at all. (Hope that helps....it helps me to remember this.)

 

[SBee]

Thank you @sunkacola I am sure some people do speak without thinking, and aren't actually deliberately cruel.

But I can't imagine the additional pain inadvertently shown to you at the loss of you partner. It multiplies the pain when you need as much support, practically and emotionally more than ever.People may stumble over the right Words so sometimes it's surely better to say nothing other than you are so sorry, rather than unconsciously adding to unimaginable grief.

I met someone I know slightly yesterday and her husband is at end of life care. She didn't need more empty cliches or sympathy - that's so not her way. She needed someone to just say in an honest way, be bloody angry, go and scream ( like you do yourself, away from their beloved dogs ). Now is not the time for her to adhere to social niceties when her world is crumbling.
I just fail to understand people who misread a person or a situation and cause excessive hurt.

Thank you for pointing out that someone speaking so hurtful shows something with them, not you or I. Yes, we can be too vulnerable and hurt at the time to realise this truth,but now I am a bit removed from that incident, I can see clearly it was most definitely about them. Your reply has helped me with seeing that.

Sometimes, in the cold light of day I am a bit more thick skinned, but you know some comments just hit you when you are at your worse.

 

[Birdlady10]

Looking back I have probably had fibro for many many years, but got bad episodes in early sixties and was diagnosed then…..I am now 79 and it gradually got worse in early 70s and got extremely bad at end of last year……now been diagnosed with ME as well. Now I have it most days as well as many other health conditions…..

 

[30 plus years]

Of course having the right attitude is on us. The fibro pain, however, is one of the many results of inherited imperfection...which will be reversed in the near future. (This is in response to Mr Bee)