Negative thoughts and depression.

[BombayMum]

Dear Cory, Kreol, Moe1959,

Thanks for the support! Last three days I was traveling and before that was wondering if I would be able to, but managed. In this new team I am with, its fun to be outdoors and was really enjoying. I have noticed, if I take my meals on time and have adequate water, some symptoms like headaches minimize. Still I had swollen and red feet yesterday along with pain in my wrists. I have a birthday party to organize for tomorrow and just wish it goes off well.

What I haven't done: I haven't found a psychiatrist yet. It's the "stranger" as Kreol puts it that I'm looking for and being a doctors wife, that's a little bit more difficult to do.

As Moe1959 suggests, yes I'm delegating more now, my maid is cooperative and I gave her a 25% hike this month so that she takes more of the share like babysitting my kid back from school on those days I'm working. Yes, list of 1-10 things is good, maybe I'll post it on my fridge door. Thanks for the suggestion.

Another fun fact to share, when I'm out meeting people I have a this smile on my face and everyone ( including me) loves it. But at home... its rarely there....but trying.

luv!
Bombay Mum

 

[BombayMum]

Dear Friends,

This is a quick update. I think I have found myself a doctor. I started with counseling and have been put on 25mg daily of sertraline of one of our local brands here. Also advised Yoga and Swimming, which was at back of my mind but neglected.
Hope all of you are doing well!

BombayMum

 

[cmetryme]

MUM, thats great news! im so proud of you for taking those steps to getting some help. now please dont over due the yoga and swimming.
i know how it can help but i also know how it can hurt too. on step at a time. big hugs my friend! you have support right here.

 

[Kreol]

I'm happy to hear tht BombayMum! There will be some side effects with the anti depressants, but try to persist, especially if you haven't been on antidepressants before. The counselling will be hard, as they will 'peel the layers of the onion' so to speak to determine the reason for the depression, but it will get easier. There will be times when you dread going but from my experience, that's when it is working hence the dread. Just make sure you have everything planned prior to your session, as it is very draining.
As cmetryme stated don't beat yourself about the yoga and swimming, you have taken such big steps towards your health and should acknowledge that. I am really happy to hear that you're smiling. I struggled to smile but now I'm finding that I am experience some days of pure happiness and can genuinely smile instead of putting the façade with the fake smile.

 

[BombayMum]

Hi,
Thanks Cmetryme for your support. No, I'm not overdoing the yoga and swimming, because on many days ..I simply can't.
Kreol, I haven't been on anti depressants before and what I did notice was that I tend to get very tired, fatigued and keep yawning. for a few nights I couldn't get sleep because I felt strangely peaceful. and the next day I was fatigued. So I now take the meds middle of the day.
I burst into tears in my previous counseling and have been told to forgive and forget. Also, I need to see this new pain management doctor and wonder what that will lead too.
Another big step: I took my doc hubby also for the counseling on advice of my doc and things seem a bit better this week.
Pains are still there, keep moving over the body.
And yes, I didn't really feel I performed well at work place this week , wasn't sharp... almost dulled down... wonder if its the affect of the meds.
Should one involve co workers with the nature of the ailment? I'm quite new here and wonder how it would be received.
Rest all is ok.
I'm calm and going slow...with lesser expectations of the self.

Luv
Bombay Mum

 

[cmetryme]

if you can keep it to yourself at work please do so. most wont understand.
crying is a good relief of stress and pain. the depression will make you cry.

i cry myself at least 3-4 times a day.
I was on a road trip yesterday and i counted 4 times that tears rolled down my face.
when this happens i know that the pain level has risen to a not so tolerable level. its not the screaming and yelling crying.
im so glad your hubby went with you and he learned somethings about you and your body.

Get excited about the new pain mgt doctor. help has arrived for you!
big hugs my friend.

 

[Kreol]

Yes all the symptoms you've described is your body adjusting to the anti depressant. Typically it will take your body approximately two weeks to adjust and things will return to "normal". I was very concerned when I was taking the antidepressants about the quality of my work being jeopardised however my work wasn't compromised, it was me being paranoid. As cmetryme stated crying is a good thing, it assists with the "purging". I struggle crying in front of someone, due to cultural reasons of "trying not to lose face", but behind closed doors it can flow. I think it's fantastic that your husband is attending because it's having a great support network really helps.
As far as advising work, everyone's experience is different, mine was not well received. However as you mentioned above you haven't been there for a while. As a suggestion maybe hold off from saying something now, until you get a "feel" for the place.
Don't forget to pat yourself on the back, breath and acknowledge your accomplishments, you have come a long way!