Husband jealous of my life.......

[TeeDee]

Seriously! He said he was jealous because I get to sleep as long as I want and get to go out to lunch once or twice a week.
I am new to this forum. I have had fibromyalgia since Jan. 2005 and diagnosed in Oct of 2005.
But I can't believe that he actually said that!! I understand he is going thru a mid-life crisis and he hates his job and hates the weather and the dogs next door and ........fill in the blanks. Really?! I truly wouldn't give this crappy condition to my worst enemy......even if I had one!!
Sleep as long as I want?! Like most fibro recipients, when I actually get to sleep, most of the time I have insomnia and am awake 3 or 4 days with only a few hours of sleep at a time.
GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! ARG!!!!!
Really sorry my very first post is a rant! I am just in disbelief.

I could go on and on but there is no point. I am sure that most of you have already heard of or live with a spouse that is....duh (smacking forehead with hand).

Thank You so very much for being here. I was going to implode if I couldn't talk/type.

 

[remnant]

Sorry for your husband's condition. He could be suffering from a victim personality which some sufferers of FM and other conditions acquire when they can't cope with their condition. You say that you had FM. This is quite good news. You could share with us on your coping and recovery strategy. You are in a good position to midwife him out of the situation. Try to be understanding and solicit for medical counselling if possible.

 

[diamond]

Hi TeeDee, I can empathize with your feelings and resulting anger/frustration.

The depth and seriousness of our condition is still pretty invisible to others however well we describe how it affects us and we always hope our nearest and dearest will see and know the long term toll it takes on us both physically and emotionally...all we miss out on...how desperate we are too be normal have energy and be pain free and busy.

My partner is a lovely man but over the years even he has hurt me with some comments like being cross because i couldn't do the 2000 mile round trip by car across europe to Italy and back for a holiday (this is what we used to do before i got fibro staying in hotels along the way and then 10 days or so in Italy, days out up mountain passes, lake cruises etc).

When i gently said i couldnt do it anymore his response was crossly ok we wont go then! I was unbelievably hurt as if i would choose not to go when we used to have the most amazing time.

This illness hurts all those it touches....our partners get frustrated at how it affects them and then we feel guilty for being sick.

Your husbands comments do devalue your struggles and suffering....he can't feel what you can. Sometimes i think it would be good if others could for a day and then they would be grateful for their health!!

Maybe when the anger has subsided you could have a heart to heart with him about how hurt and mad his comments made you. Maybe even though you are poorly he would appreciate being able to tell you and receive empathy about his own dissatisfactions.

Type and talk away to us...i too get to imploding point more often lately and come here and vent.

Have a look at Forgetmenots post ten things people say and you will see we all get it and all understand. Take Care x

 

[Trellum]

I know it's hard, but sometimes we need to take that kind of comments lightly. I'm sure he has no idea what he is talking about, he thinks he doesn't but obviously doesn't. If he knew it he'd not be saying that, I assure you! So have that in mind next time someone makes that kind of comment