feeling really sorry for myself

[twiztc]

Today for the very first time I had to leave work early because of my condition.
I have had a particularly bad couple weeks but even so I can usually muddle through even when I feel like I can't.
Today however was unbearable. I struggled through till lunchtime with the pain in my legs. My one knee is so bad it feels like it's jumped it's track and I can't put much weight on it. I went for my usual walk(or should I say hobble)around the building after lunch hoping the exercise might free it up a bit. It didn't.
I don't finish work till four thirty so thought surely I can make it till then.
By two thirty I was crying in pain as my back started to protest about walking so badly because of my knees.
I was a complete useless mess. Hubby had to take me home where I just collapsed on the sofa with my knees burning.
I never thought I could ever feel so bad as to leave work till today.

 

[1sweed]

twiztc, When your in that much pain you have to do what is best for you, even if it is leaving work early. I know no matter what I say the pain won't go away and knowing this, all I can do is keep you in my prayers. I hope now that you are home and resting the pain will ease and by tomarrow you will feel much better. Take good care of yourself and I will be thinking of you. If I can help let me know.

 

[vida_llevares]

Always remind yourself that better days are waiting for you. You have to be strong. You have to believe and remind yourself that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[twiztc]

Thanks guys
like most of you here this winter has been brutal to me and I haven't been coping as well of late.
I've had a nice restful weekend now so hope to attack the new week with oomph

 

[SuzUP]

I'm really sorry to hear you had such a bad day. Gentle hugs.

 

[GlumshanksGirl]

I feel so very sorry for you, because I can relate. *huggles* Gosh, I couldn't even imagine trying to work under those conditions, so you should not feel bad that you had to leave early. Try to relax and take it easy for awhile. "Pushing through" always seems to heighten my worst symptoms, especially when I am pushing during a flare up. There should be some sort of accommodations in the workplace for working Fibromyalgia patients. Even then sometimes you just have to hang the towel up for a bit. It doesn't mean you're a quitter. Trust me. We work hard constantly just to stay sane with all of this pain. ~_^

By the way, when my illness started, not only did I start having to take leave in the middle of a work day, but I was literally bed bound and had to eventually quit my well-paying job as a receptionist. I haven't been able to work an outside job since. Really, I can relate. Really... So I'm here to chat if ever you need someone who feels the same.

 

[Cynder]

Ugh I'm sorry you had such a painful day. Very good you went home and took care of yourself. This winter really is a harsh one, all over the country, I hope it eases up soon, I'm so ready for spring.

 

[Donna10112]

Hi, I'm Donna. I'm new here starting today. I noticed you've had FMS for about 12 years, would that be right? I'm going to take a different spin here and say you should be amazed at how well you've coped for the past 12 years. It's wonderful that you made it this far. Try not to take what happened today too hard. It's not a failure on your part. Most of us that have had it a while (I'm at 34 years) have had to accept that our bodies don't always function the way we want. The biggest frustration is feeling we're losing control of our lives. You had one bad afternoon, start with that. See what tomorrow brings and deal with it one day at a time. You will make it through this and many more events in your life. Remember most of all: FMS is real and so is your pain. Take care of yourself. Hope you can get some good rest tonight.

 

[twiztc]

I should know better not to let it get to me so much. I'm not new, I seen it in mum and her mum too.
I was always so much more positive but until about three years ago it didn't constantly hammer me like it has been lately.

Thank you all here for listening. It really helps.

 

[twiztc]

Had a really shit day
ibs stole it from me

 

[Yatte]

twiztc, honey well all have bad days, and sometimes it is good to just let go and cry your heart out. We all feel better after a good cry, and somehow the tears seems to just strengthen our resolves.

The IBS is a real bastard, with mine I quickly learned how linked it is to my emotions, though not always possible I try to keep my emotions in tact, or like a true spineless fool I try to hide and avoid from as many stressful or overly emotional situations as I can (this even include some movies known to be emotional). This has caused some ructions between me and my friends and family, but as soon as they understand the impact this has on your body they usually aid you and try to help as much as they can. It is not always possible to avoid these things and in that situation I take the I don't care or this doesn't bother me approach. I know it sounds harsh, but it is a coping mechanism, that works for me. My psychologist taught me some breathing techniques that also helps a lot. I know not everybody believes in therapy, but in my opinion it is sorely needed where you have no control over your tummy or your pain.

It is good to vent, I believe rather get all the bad stuff out of your system by taking it out on something, than internalize it and feel its effects directly.

You are allowed to have bad days, just breathe, surf the wave and know tomorrow is a new day, a better day and a day to learn more.

My friend has this saying she got from a movie, that sometimes carries me through a tough day. This too shall pass.

 

[Donna10112]

Had a really shit day
ibs stole it from me

Do you mind if I ask what your symptoms are? I've been doing better with IBS after making a few changes (nothing difficult) and I'm wondering if they might help you too. Please let me know if you are interested.
Donna10112

 

[twiztc]

I get the runs type. Bad pains. It goes in cycles. You'd think I'd be used to it by now having suffered for twenty years. I'm always open to suggestions but I've tried most thing.
Thanks though.

Still sore today but a bit better.
I'm such a baby.. out of all the Fibro symptoms the bad belly is the thing I deal with the least. It's more disrupting than anything else.

 

[1sweed]

I am sorry to hear that you had such a crappy day. Hope tomarrow is better. I miss our little chats and figured you were under the weather, so to speak. Since I only have that part of IBS, once in a while I am not much good in helping deal with it. Yattie, had some really good tips about handling it.

But I willing be hoping and praying that things get better for you and I am here if you need someone to talk to. Fibro friendship hugs to you twiztc, it will be all right. Have a good night.

 

[twiztc]

Thanks sweedie. I at least manage to eat a little something and I'm feeling better for it.
Half the problem is I haven't been able to get my normal meds and have been without for a month.
My doctor is so gonna get it when I see him Wednesday