Feel ignored

[BooBug9422]

100% get where you are coming from! I am also feeling this at the moment, and it is so frustrating! especially when the people you are trying to talk to are meant to be understanding and supportive! At least we have this group, filled with understanding and supportive people, even if its just to make you feel like you arent alone in the struggles you are facing!
I hope you feel a bit better soon, and know there are people here who will listen unconditionally xoxo

 

[Linda49]

Isn't it so sad that fibro doesn't give us purple and pink polka-dots? That there's no sign of how just awfully terrible we can feel so often? No scars?

In all seriousness, I also don't complain or talk about my fibro. My dear Husband, thank goodness, has always been supportive, as is our doctor, but I've spent so many years just ignoring it, keeping a "stuff upper lip", not complaining, just keeping on with life no matter how I felt, that I bet other family members could never imagine the 24 hr discomfort accompanied by downright pain, the electric shocks that we endure...the fatigue we hide (at least I've been hiding it).

Lately I've come to a point in my life where if I need a nap in the afternoon, I darn well take it. Not that my DH would say anything, bless his heart, it's always been ME not wanting to give in to it. Our dear Daughter, now 40, I think still wants to believe her Mom can do everything she did when she was a young 50! haha! She knows that I have fibro, but being the Type A person she is, I've never sat her down and told her everything about it. She's a love, but I'm sure she'd want to "figure it out" so that I can "get over it" and be healthy again, bless her heart. And it very much sucks that I can't do that.

It's only us who can truly understand each other and what we're going through each day. For me, the fatigue is my worst enemy...I've always been a busy type of person, but now I feel so useless so often. I can't volunteer, that usually means attending meetings (yuck), standing, walking...and with 4 surgeries on my right leg (3 from a break in '14, and a new knee in November), I'm feeling quite useless. So what follows? Sadness and crankiness, although I can hide those pretty well, too.

So Zolly....WE hear you, and please know that we absolutely understand. We're members of an elite club no one really wants to belong to, but we soldier on, don't we? One way or another we all have our copoing mechanisms and one of them is coming here for the care and understanding only one of us can provide to another. All the best to you...

 

[Tipnatee N]

We're members of an elite club no one really wants to belong to..

Lol. Good one I second that , but there're some faker out there who wish they are members of this club for their own awful selfish reason. Thanks to them the world take us even more lightly than usual, so probably there'll be no ribbons for us in many years in future of battling against this undying illness.

 

[Wineisfine]

Ya know for the next fibromyalgia awareness day or some other day about invisible illnesses, we should cover ourselves with large stickers each with a symptom, so the invisible will turn visible.

 

[Tipnatee N]

Ya know for the next fibromyalgia awareness day or some other day about invisible illnesses, we should cover ourselves with large stickers each with a symptom, so the invisible will turn visible.

I would be too hot in a bad way for me cause I don't think I have enough space in my body for those sticker. It would look more like a wedding gown.

 

[sunkacola]

Lthere're some faker out there who wish they are members of this club for their own awful selfish reason. Thanks to them the world take us even more lightly than usual,....

Hypochondriacs will always be recognized as such sooner or later.
Their behavior is irrelevant to us.

 

[medicmurphy]

Tipnatee N, worrying about whether people claim to have Fibro and a part of "our club" or not, is this not a waste of your emotion?

 

[sunkacola]

Definitely a waste of emotion to worry about whether or not someone else who claims to have fibro actually has it or not.
Waste of time, too.

 

[Tipnatee N]

Lol the harassing duos , good one . So I guess it was wrong of me to happen to like the robotic fibro video version , if that's so I do apologize even though I don't actually mean it . May you prefer agree to disagree? Although I could hardly agree just for that particular one either. Heh heh.

 

[TomT]

Zolly, one of the most important things that you must always remember in your life. From now on, understand that there are 2 distinctly different types of people. The ones that bring positive energy and try to leave things better than they found them, then there are the negative ones that affect each of us badly, always tearing things down. Make time only for those that offer positive energy.
As a side note, your picture indicates that you may be quite young, if that is correct then you have no access to a circle of friends that could possibly have learned any of life's lessons regarding how to empathize with someone regarding chronic illness. At a younger stage of life, there are completely different topics of interest. Dating, romance. Relationships of other kinds etc.

 

[sunkacola]

Tom T...may I disagree with you a little bit?

I don't think it is necessarily helpful to try to divide the whole human race into two types, one good and one bad.
Of course, you are trying to help this poster, and your post probably does help.
I just think that we all need to remember that every person has good and bad in them. And labeling people is not productive. It only leads to misunderstandings, biases, and distance between people.

some days, I am a person who is friendly and would help out a stranger, and people like you would put me into the "good" category.

Other days, I am feeling the deep grief that I live with, am in physical pain, won't speak or look anyone in the eye, and would probably walk right by someone lying on the sidewalk because I just don't have one atom of extra energy to give, only enough just to keep my head above water for one more day and stay alive.

on those days someone like you would label me a "negative person".

But I am neither one. Most people aren't.

Then there is the fact that it is not true that a young person "could not possibly have learned some life lessons regarding how to empathize with someone who has chronic illness"!

The truth is, some people who are very young do have a capacity for compassion and understanding that is far beyond their years.

Just because you are young doesn't mean you can't have learned some very hard life lessons! Some young people have had to deal with a disability or chronic pain themselves for their whole life. Others have been around a grand mother or other beloved person who had an illness. Age of a person has little to do with what they can know or feel, really.

And, also, just because you are young doesn't mean you can't have older friends. I always did, when I was young.

Just some thoughts.

 

[Linda49]

Two thoughts here....I don't think TomT was too far off base in his designating people as having positive or negative influences on others...everyone has yucky days, but generally, over the course of their lives, there are people who are toxic. I've lived long enough to meet some of them first-hand, but I chose not to keep them as friends.

However, I do know that young people can be very empathetic. When I broke my leg and had 3 surgeries, our 8-yr old grandson visited with his parents often, and always checked my knee, asked me how was feeling and even months later would bring me my crutches or cane or offer me his hand when I would come down the 4 stairs of our back-split home. Even at 8, now 9 years old, he watches out for me. Our DD and I have designated him an "old soul" because of his understanding.

 

[sunkacola]

Anyone else noticed that the OP hasn't ever returned to this thread?
i am thinking: Maybe it is no wonder she feels ignored.....she seems to ignore everyone who is trying to help her!