@Ian waxman This is exactly why I keep on seeing specialists, continuing with imaging and blood testing, etc...why I don't give up searching for an answer for my own pain. Because I am reliant upon pain medication myself -- not as strong as fentanyl -- and I don't want to be reliant upon it forever. At this point, I'm going slow and careful -- no rash decisions -- but everything is on the table for consideration, even surgery as a last resort. I'm just starting out now with a new arthritis and rheumatology doctor; still early days with her. I need to get the imaging and blood tests done that she ordered, but I'm overwhelmed with hurricane repairs and there just doesn't seem to be enough relatively pain-free hours in the week yet to get them all done. Getting closer though.
Hopefully, by January I will have been able to get the testing done, go back to see the doc, and plan our next course of action. My newest pain is inflammation and very painful stiffness in my hands every morning for several hours, and then again at night. We're working on that and my osteoarthritis in my spine and right hand.
But I digress. My point is I agree with you, and I look forward to the day (knock wood) when I can be opioid-free. I do want to say here to anyone reading that pain (our kind of severe, chronic pain) is worse than opioids. Better to choose pain-relief and have some quality of life than none at all because that's not living, not to mention what the pain does to our mental health as well. Opioids are serious business, not to be taken lightly, but as so many will attest to, without them my quality of life would be zilch, nada, not worth living. They do what they are supposed to do for me -- help relieve some pain -- and nothing more. I don't get high on my med. I don't feel my med or dose is mind-altering at all. And I thank God for that because hydrocodone, for example, was mind-altering for me...so much so that I couldn't take it and switched to tramadol.
I don't look forward to the day when I will be weaning off my own pain med. I get your point, and I know others who have gone through what you are going through right now. Your point is well-taken: the true danger of opioids and other addictive substances is becoming so dependent upon them that without them you suffer physical and mental anguish.
I'm glad that you can laugh, Ian. I try to do the same. The alternative is not an option for me for it would bring me down to the deepest depths of despair and depression. I cannot let that happen. So I laugh, and I remain grateful every day. I'm sorry for the hell you are going through. Reading about your health problems makes me even more grateful, and I hope you understand that I mean that in a kind way. When I begin to feel sorry for myself or angry at my conditions, I remind myself that compared to hundreds of thousands of others I have it "good."
Anyway, I meant it when I said I'm here for you. I'm glad you are writing and staying in touch with us. I'm glad that you love yourself enough to do that for yourself. Let us be here for you just as you are here for me.
Hang in there, my friend. Hugs!
