I have signed up to this forum to write this post so that I might vent a little of the shear despair I'm currently feeling. A little background about me, I'm 27. Have been dealing with pain symptoms since my early 20's, predominantly in my joints and eyes, to which there is no relief or answers.
The only answer I have ever been given is one of 'fibromyalgia' around 3 years ago. This might have been some what of a relief to finally have an answer to my pain if it wasn't for the fact that there is little to nothing known about it and little to nothing that can be done about it. It seemed to me as if the label of fibro was just given to me due to lack of evidence of anything else.
I still don't fully believe that I do have fibromyalgia or this alone, the severe eye symptoms I have just don't let it sit right with me. I've been on eye steroids for over 2 years and still can hardly look at a screen or read and write due to eye pain, my eyes are burning just writing this. I can't progress with education or simply use a computer/watch a movie for enjoyment without pain. I struggle to find any enjoyment anymore. I find it hard to talk to 98% of people about my stuggles as they never understand and comments like 'there's nothing wrong with you' cut deeper than a knife. As if all my pains are imaginary or made up due to lack of physical evidence. This includes the majority of health professionals.
The long term pain has left me constantly exhausted and hard to be around, I'm depressing, quick to anger and snappy with the people I love. I have a new family that I need to support including a 6 week old baby that's still on an icu ward and I'm wondering how I'm ever going to do this when I can hardly even keep my self afloat. I've seen so many drs, GPs, Rhumatologists, Opthomologists, Therapists and been referred to many other services I.e. physio and the pain clinic only to hear crickets for years.
I've paid for private consultations and procedures including a course of medical cannabis which did help with sleep related symptoms for a while but then resulted in severe panic attacks and anxiety during the night which I have not yet recovered from mentally.
This is my vent over for now and if you've read this monologue, thank you. No doubt I'll need to outlet again in the future.
The only answer I have ever been given is one of 'fibromyalgia' around 3 years ago. This might have been some what of a relief to finally have an answer to my pain if it wasn't for the fact that there is little to nothing known about it and little to nothing that can be done about it. It seemed to me as if the label of fibro was just given to me due to lack of evidence of anything else.
I still don't fully believe that I do have fibromyalgia or this alone, the severe eye symptoms I have just don't let it sit right with me. I've been on eye steroids for over 2 years and still can hardly look at a screen or read and write due to eye pain, my eyes are burning just writing this. I can't progress with education or simply use a computer/watch a movie for enjoyment without pain. I struggle to find any enjoyment anymore. I find it hard to talk to 98% of people about my stuggles as they never understand and comments like 'there's nothing wrong with you' cut deeper than a knife. As if all my pains are imaginary or made up due to lack of physical evidence. This includes the majority of health professionals.
The long term pain has left me constantly exhausted and hard to be around, I'm depressing, quick to anger and snappy with the people I love. I have a new family that I need to support including a 6 week old baby that's still on an icu ward and I'm wondering how I'm ever going to do this when I can hardly even keep my self afloat. I've seen so many drs, GPs, Rhumatologists, Opthomologists, Therapists and been referred to many other services I.e. physio and the pain clinic only to hear crickets for years.
I've paid for private consultations and procedures including a course of medical cannabis which did help with sleep related symptoms for a while but then resulted in severe panic attacks and anxiety during the night which I have not yet recovered from mentally.
This is my vent over for now and if you've read this monologue, thank you. No doubt I'll need to outlet again in the future.
. I am much better at avoiding the behaviors I don’t like and I know apologizing has made me successful…
