twiztc's blog

Had a rough bugger of disturbing dreams reliving bad things past with a different twist. Less said about that the better.

I feel weird today and I cant quite put my finger on why. I know im tired but not the sleepy sort of tired, more like the worn out exhausted kind.
Its like im not really here, like im a ghost of myself, i cant seem to concentrate. yep a fibro fog kind of day.

I'd had a night filled with nightmarish type dreams waking me up first after only fifty minutes of sleep then every couple hours after that. I was pretty damn tired this morning and stayed that way for most of the day. Luckily I was kept busy at work and it was also a fun day which helped keep me awake. My pains didn't really kick in till later in the day which was quite novel.
After a wintry start the sun came out lunchtime too. Nice.

I managed to get my bum out of bed at nine this morning. I wanted to leave myself at least an hour before I went out the door. I hate having to rush around.
I went swimming with my ladies. It was so good to back in the water. I was surprised how missing just two week had left me with less stamina for my few laps. I stuck mostly to my water jogging instead.
I got a nasty headache since last night and so far hasn't gone away.

I thought I'd write my woes to my blog instead of crying in the forums. I don't feel quite so broadcast that way. I'm not really an attention seeker, I don't say much about it at home or work except when I really have to and at times I want to scream shout and cry to someone how really awful I feel just to get it out of my system. I don't want sympathy or pity but the emotions of having an illness and not being able to do anything about it gets so bottled up sometimes I feel I will explode.
Today was one of those days.

Ok Yatte, I'm gonna give this blog thing a go. I'm not a very exciting writer, my diary tends to read more like a shopping list. The only time it gets more involved is when I have my bad times. In a thousand years if anyone came across my ramblings they'd think I had an awful bloody life. Yes I've had to go through bad stuff but no more than anyone else I suppose. Sometimes it's those very things that make us appreciate the good thing and keep them precious. I could say if I had my life over I would avoid those bad things but then I'd be a different person wouldn't I?