Trying to keep my cool. Pain & Stress

[Maria22]

I have been just whirling around here. At home, cleaning, packing, organizing., writing lists of what to donate, toss , sell.
At work trying to leave with good #s for a transfer, jumping through moving hoops at who to phone, email, or just plain do to make it work . Still waiting for yay or nay. (Which is causing so much ridiculous stress.) Just want a simple job transfer and it's turning into a quessing game like right down to our move date and still don't know? Tomorrow with a new Store Manager starting here he may help , because it's been so Corporate and difficult. No names.
It's sad that people just don't care anymore about others livelihoods.
I'm not a spring chicken I just want to have my job because that's fair and right.
I also don't want to have too look for another one at this age in another State.
I will if I have too and im sure it will be good , but it's just the longevity of this one and knowing that I hung onto it for 3 extra years driving a long distance, through snow storms numerous times because I knew how lucky I was to have it.
I'm fortunate to have a loving Partner who know I'll work hard to find something else once we are there. So that's good . But I keep going back to WOW I'm goning to lose out and I don't want that.
I was born here in this State and worked hard to try to stay ahead of it all .
It's amazing to me that even at 54 I still have to work , look, and pretend to feel youthful just to feel normal and get what I need and want , and then it doesn't work out
Angry about that!!!!!!!!!
Also while I'm venting I'm just DONE with the Toxic-Famiky-cycle. Can't wait to be a couple 1000 miles away. So not helpful, most always making me ill.

 

[Maria22]

Oh, and add in the that on a good note someone is interested in looking at this house . That would be amazing if they wanted . Just dropped price $10,000. For slow Market in our area.
That's the big run down.
I don't like to make it all about me, but I'm doing that today , because I clearly don't know how I'm doing this without having a complete blow up /break down

 

[diamond]

That sounds an awful lot on your plate with fibro well done for keeping going and hope you get your transfer sorted soon.

 

[Maria22]

Me too. Thank You . I think that tomorrow I'm probably going to crash and have to go to work and deal with the bs.
Trying to turn all this over and realize it's just a time frame. And really my life has been given back to me just meeting my Partner. I know I'm lucky for that beyond words.
He gets it when I'm not great. He knows I'm going to keep plugging along. But Yes I'm not having fun.
It's almost like a war going on with my nerves and physical body. Too long with this Illness. So So fed up with the fight. It not fair.

 

[sunkacola]

Maria, Wow, that is a lot to handle. I know exactly what you mean about feeling you have to look and act youthful in order to be considered for work. It really makes me angry that older people are so devalued in this society. If you are past a certain age, younger people make all kinds of assumptions about you and usually they are untrue. Older people are more reliable, mature, and dedicated, and we are not given that credit.

I solved the problem by becoming self-employed. but not everyone can do that! I really hope that the transfer goes well for you. It's not fair of them to leave you guessing, so I hope it comes through soon. Good for you for getting away from toxic situations. Once the dust all settles you will feel a lot better, I bet.

 

[Maria22]

Thank You Sunkacola and Diamond!
I did get the transfer a few days ago !
I'm sure I wrote you a Thank You then, but slots been going on .It was a real feat for me. I start Aug 6th.
Traveling now to our new Home. This is our second day driving and it's starting to be difficult.
Looking forward .

 

[missv]

Maria,
Wow I'm just seeing this thread and I'm sorry you had to experience so much added stress along with the everyday pain. I'm so happy for you and I wish you all the happiness life can bring! Good luck and God bless! Keep us posted on your journey once you're settled. You give me hope !

 

[Maria22]

Thank You Missv!
Your supportive words are uplifting!!
I'm still traveling today , So really looking towards the new beginning soon!! It's always an adventure.
The Day is fair , Sunny, and Beautiful. It's still hard on the body though, but staying focused on this Awsome Move. I don't really remember being this happy since my Daughter was born years ago !! It's pretty cool.
Keeping Fibro. at bay ,today !!

 

[moe1959]

54? your a spring chicken lol

 

[Peaceandquiet]

Maria, this sounds so exciting!

I love new beginnings and little tears just sprang into my eyes when I read this thread. That feeling of the freedom to make choices and head in a better direction is fantastic.

Best wishes for a wonderful new life with your supportive partner.

 

[Maria22]

Thank You both!
I know I'm very fortunate to be able to move away! I wish I felt good . Had a mini meltdown this morning, and finally broke when we had to stay up n a dive.
Couldn't find a good place to stay at 10 pm last night so had to settle.
I grew up camping, and like I said I would have rather stay in truck to sleep.
I guess it can't all be perfect but from the stress of also pulling our car my Supportive better half was not good .
Had our first drag out fight in am , when I had to jump out of bed and be organized. It takes at least 1/2 hr for the Cymbalta to kick in. Before that I'm not normal feeling. The fog this morning was miserable .
To get it together I literally cried in truck for 20 minutes. Felt better.
Finally had coffee and I think I can handle the day.
I want to be excited so working hard at being okay! We have a long day of unpacking!!.
I'm really Happy to be able to have You all in my Court. Just knowing others go through this miserable illness and understand the ups and downs when someone needs help. It's like major fight or flight.
Xoxoxo
I

 

[Peaceandquiet]

Oh wow....I just read this.

I hope you're settling in and feeling a little better now. Stressful times like that, it's easy to end up arguing.

I hope the days get better! Hugs.

 

[Maria22]

Thank You Peaceandquiet ! Starting to feel like it's moving in the right direction !! Feeling better!