Of course you're right, generally, that these personality traits aren't right or wrong.
However my first partner being introverted in a jealous ('I don't like you meeting friends'), withdrawn, anxious, sectarian way ('most people are bad'), led me further away from meeting people and to my social phobia by reinforcing my shy & anxious side.
I didn't realize that at the time and did actively try not to get into the same mindset, and managed to slowly improve hers too. But it still made it hard for me not become withdrawn and more anxious.
To come out of that social phobia I had to reinforce my outgoing side again and learn how to cope with the panic and fear of meeting and talking to people.
So I do see a certain danger of introversion possibly leading to social anxiety - what do you think about that?
Also despite overcoming the social phobia, I still find certain events like all birthday parties stressful, altho I wouldn't call that phobic any more. They make me feel tongue-tied, nervous, awkward. However I still aspire to go to some and reduce that stress mentally. As I know people less extraverted than me are not stressed, which shows how introversion and social anxiety is not the same.
So coming back to
I'm thinking that feeling drained is something that can be influenced to some extent, e.g. by changing the kind of interaction, learning techniques of conversation, breaks from it.
Also I'd go as far (as opposed to many) to think personality traits can be changed to some extent to fit better to our values or to feel better. That it involves changing mindset, with which therapy can help. I get the feeling that many people are prepared for neither (not you!) and so negate that it is possible to change yourself - praps it isn't for them.
All still agreeing with you that it no way is it wrong to be introverted. But it can be a strain, can't it?
My wife is quite a bit more extraverted than I am, which leads to tension the other way round than in my first partnership. This has got easier since my introversion now sort of has a physical component. By the way she is jealous of "my computer" (that's how my therapist termed it) and finds it hard to accept that mailing & writing on forums is also communication. She thinks it's bad to be a quiet "puppet" as she calls it, whilst she gets tense when I don't, but instead hyper around with my mental energy and bustley nature instead. So now I'm on both wrong ends of that stick you're referring to as well... but still love her lots... - she's actually great help for me, just she has her own issues and needs in that area.
I've often thought introversion vs. extraversion is one of the main relationship problems...?
.) And I wasn't at peace with myself. Getting a grip on my anxiety before fibro and now learning to self-care and putting myself first without at all putting others "last" has let me find peace. At last I don't have to run around seeking "something" or else "distraction" anymore, don't have to define myself by what I "do" any more. A blessing. A true happiness I never had before. Happy most of the time, despite having no energy. The simple life I believed I was aiming at when I was a kid, which turned out pretty complicated in between, and has now unravelled - simply being. (That reminds me of the beautiful Peter Sellers satire "Chance the Gardener" = "Being There" - no coincidence that I'm voluntarily taking up gardening now, something that'd always been much too boring to me, did it to please, not for fun (much).)
