Pressure from your partner?

[atuckerit]

Does your partner pressure you or make you feel bad when you are in pain and cannot be as active as you are normally? I have to pretend that I feel good most days, because I know mine would leave me if he knew how I really felt.

 

[Lana]

This really saddens me to hear that you hide your pain. You need to think of your self now because stress is the worse thing you can do. I'm so sorry you have to pretend that you feel good when you don't. Maybe you can find some help here at this Forum. Hope your partner joins, then he will read how hard it is living with Fibromyalgia. and all the sacrifices you have to make. I Hope you rest when you need to. gentle hugs

 

[Trellum]

Does your partner pressure you or make you feel bad when you are in pain and cannot be as active as you are normally? I have to pretend that I feel good most days, because I know mine would leave me if he knew how I really felt.

So sorry to hear that, it's obvious your paretnrr doesn't make you feel safe, I have the same issue and let me tell you it's awful. He knows I have issues, but I don't feel 100% safe with him. I'm so sorry to hear you think your partner would leave you if he found out how you really feel!

My partner tries to be understanding, but there are times I do feel it's better to stay quiet. Some people are so difficult and complex...

 

[GemmaRowlands]

Nobody should make you hide your pain, and I have to say that if my partner acted like that, they wouldn't be my partner for very much longer. That's not to say that it isn't frustrating for partners, though. They will have had an "ideal life" in their head when they started out, and it's likely that they would have wanted a relationship where they could go out and have a good time all of the time, go on holidays, go for long walks - but many of these things aren't possible when you don't know how you're going to feel from one day to the next. Being open and honest with each other is one of the most important things that you can do, because it means that your partner will at least be able to try and understand how the condition makes you feel, and this can certainly be helpful.

 

[JoshPosh]

In a picture perfect world, your partner would be understanding and supportive of the way you are and the everyday trials you go through together. But this isn't a fairy tale. I had problems with my ex. They would be understanding but at times I could feel a sense of resentment that I and we was not a "normal" relationship. We were limited with what I was physically allowed to do. Eventually, we parted ways because our relationship had come to an end, because she wanted more out of life them what I could physically afford to give. She loved me, but she needed to be happy.

 

[Gelsemium]

I am not saying it's easy for the partner of someone with fibro, but at the same time they have to be supportive and understanding, above all understanding because pressure will lead to no where.

 

[cyberpuppet]

I think my partner "gets it" for a while then something happens that leaves me feeling like he (and other members of my family) think that I am just faking it for the benefits and they are simply going along with it because it suits them.
My dream at the moment is to live alone - then I dont have to cope with sorting everyone elses problems and if I am not imagining that someone will be there to help with mine it wont hurt so much when I have to manage them myself anyway.

 

[Determined2014]

That would be one mean patner, they need to understand and not push you beyond your limits, they should be very understanding, if they can not be, then you need to keep off, because you are the one sufferering and not them.

 

[Susan123]

No one should have to hide how bad they feel. I do understand though, because my ex was that way. My husband now is very understanding, because he has his own health issues. You will be in my prayers along with everyone else.

 

[Trellum]

I think my partner "gets it" for a while then something happens that leaves me feeling like he (and other members of my family) think that I am just faking it for the benefits and they are simply going along with it because it suits them.
My dream at the moment is to live alone - then I dont have to cope with sorting everyone elses problems and if I am not imagining that someone will be there to help with mine it wont hurt so much when I have to manage them myself anyway.

I think we are in the same situation, I think when I talk about my health concerns with my partner he is either thinking I'm just crazy or a total hypochondriac. I feel that way most of the time, do you ever feel like they're not taking you seriously at all?

 

[Trellum]

Nobody should make you hide your pain, and I have to say that if my partner acted like that, they wouldn't be my partner for very much longer. That's not to say that it isn't frustrating for partners, though. They will have had an "ideal life" in their head when they started out, and it's likely that they would have wanted a relationship where they could go out and have a good time all of the time, go on holidays, go for long walks - but many of these things aren't possible when you don't know how you're going to feel from one day to the next. Being open and honest with each other is one of the most important things that you can do, because it means that your partner will at least be able to try and understand how the condition makes you feel, and this can certainly be helpful.

I agree with you, I really think they need to be more open and honest with each other, but that doesn't mean it'd be ok if she spent most of her time complaining. I mean, no one likes people who complain too much because people often have a lot problems on their own and don't like to be brought down by someone who complains a lot.
I learnt that the hard way.

Now I hardly complain, but I feel free to talk about my worries... but I don't abuse it, because I know my partners doesn't like to hear too much about it without getting nervous! I say there has to be a good balance! I try not to complain much, but if I'm in too much pain or I think I need to go to the ER I just say it without fear. This is something everyone should be entitled to!

 

[cyberpuppet]

I think we are in the same situation, I think when I talk about my health concerns with my partner he is either thinking I'm just crazy or a total hypochondriac. I feel that way most of the time, do you ever feel like they're not taking you seriously at all?

Oh yeah I definitely feel they dont take me seriously sometimes - usually when I am at my worst. I swear they think I could do things if I wanted but just want to slack off.

 

[moe1959]

Don't let the door hit him on the way out. How long have u been Married.?

 

[Hedonologist]

I would have assumed that those without a partner have it worse, lacking support. You should try to make them understand better that you don't need to get extra hassle from them, but instead they should try and help you as much as possible (making you happier and thus making you more pleasant to be around)

 

[keonna28]

Reading all of this, I really hope my boyfriend is able to tell me things about his pain and such. And also, I feel like your partner should be able to understand & I wouldn't mind too much if they complained a lot, especially if they were in a lot of pain.