New to the group

[atmylimit37]

Hello,

I am a long time suffer ( 13 YRS ) of what was diagnosed last year 8/2012 as Fibromylgia, Chronic Fatigue, PTSD, Carpel Tunnel, RLS, OCD. I feel so alone any more and when someone like my husband etc. ask how i feel all i wanna do is cry i feel as if im just a broken record any more I hurt hurt hurt.... I sleep constantly for days and then i go days and cant sleep even being medicated the Anxiety, Stress has just over whelmed me been waiting for the SSA to make a decision on my disability case for the last 29 months & Ive recently been given a treadmill so i can try to walk for 10 minutes three times a day to just shed some light on all this wonderful pain & stress i am just so exhausted that i do good to walk for maybe 2 min before i just give out. I have a 23 year old daughter a 18 year old son and a 14 year old son. The two oldest are grown and gone on with their lives and my poor 14 year old has to come lay in the bed with his mom just to spend time with me he cooks our dinner and i am so over whelmed with the grief of this being on his shoulders and him not having the life that he deserves. I have had severe pain in all the pressure points since i was eighteen i just thought that was how every working Mother felt Lol but to my surprise over the years the pain has became more than i feel i can deal with. I have watched my grandfather burn to death then a few years later my brother in law was killed in an auto accident and i had to be on the visual end of this in support for my sister that had already lost her one and only best friend less than a month before the loss of her husband. My Oldest Son became a teenager and made all kinds of accusations and hateful things in regards to me due to he wanted to live with his father in which i finally gave in and granted at his 15th Birthday and i feel i may have had a nervous break down from this then i got Serum sickness shortly there after from Antibiotics. My ex moved my Son over 1500 hundred miles away i was unable to attend his graduation in June of this year and i have noticed even with the medication that the Dr. Prescribed i still have so much still going on that maybe i just needed someone that i could talk to. Oh yeah i forgot i lost my one and only best friend after a 15 year friendship in May of this year due to i felt like she used me at my weakest point and i became so upset that i all but deleted my face book account and removed every one but one child my mother and my sister and since some have gone back and requested my friendship. I feel so lost, confused, tired, in so much pain so i guess i blew the forum up so ill shut up and see who replies....

 

[1sweed]

Dear Atmylimit37,
Seems you are in the mist of deep depression and I would like to kindly with the best intentions to say find yourself a mental health therapist, that can work with you through all the pain and past hurts so that you can start living again. I was once not so long ago right where you are now. I felt that life was hopeless and I had nothing left to give to myself or anyone else. But I did not want to remain in bed forever feeling sorry for myself, so I searched the internet for a mental health therapist that I could afford and would feel comfortable talking to. I attended sessions for over a year and my past was revealed and discussed, and layed to rest. I then had treatments called EMDR, which is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy that helps heal PTSD. There is hope but only you can make it happen.

When bad things happen over and over, it can wear our ability to cope to a single thin thread, and if that breaks we are lost to ourselves and to those that love us. Don't let that happen to you. Get some courage and find someone local that you can open up to and let the flood gates of sadness leave you and start living again. I have faith that you found this site for a reason and now it has been shown to you.

I had very terrible things happen in my life as well. In my childhood, as well as, through my adult life. One of the hardest things I faced was when my husband was murdered. I was lost. But in time I realized I had family that needed me and loved me, and I could not leave them to face life alone with no loving guidance. Right now your son needs his mom. So if you can't do it for yourself do it for him. He needs you to be there for him and teach him to be a strong young man, something positive to look back on in his old age.

I count you as a new friend. This site is filled with people who care and are willing to be there for you as you go through this mental health issue. This is nothing to be ashamed of. Things happen. Life is not a bed of roses, because of the thorns. lol

Please start helping yourself today. Medication helps ease pain, but it dulls the senses and lets us drift along without a real cure. This is something that must be done by you, but we are here in the background cheering you on, knowing that you can do it. Please keep coming here and sharing. Let us know how your doing. We are extending a life line, but you have to hold on tight and kick as hard as you can working on getting better.

Feel free to message me if you need to. And read through the forum to get helpful ideas on coping with your fibromyalgia. Best Wishes!

 

[atmylimit37]

Thank you for your kinda words 1sweed the cymbalta didnt work and the Effexor XR caused a bad chemical reaction and made me feel as if i was dying and i called and made arrangements for my departure from this life.... I am trying to get control over this but when you feel all alone its difficult as you know. I AM VERY SORRY to hear of the loss of your husband as well. I may have to ck into seeing a Psych dr but i cant do anything until i have Insurance for sure. But i will and im so grateful that at least you responded that helps to ease the thought of no one being there to understand what this mess is all about for sure.

 

[1sweed]

I see that you are in Alabama. I think you can go to the Family Health Centers, or the government run clinic's, which are health clinic's for people who have no insurance. They operate on a sliding scale meaning they go by your income. So if your income is low or nothing, you would pay very little. They can refer you to doctors that can help who also work on the sliding scale. Through your local mental health clinic you can see a therapist, that way as well. So you can get started and switch to someone else when you get insurance. I used their services for years until my disability came through.

 

[jubshaw]

Di you know there is a Fibromyalgai Center in Atlanta. If you can afford cash and drive there they can really help you. They treat only the worst cases but they helped me until my husband had to retire and his incone pension was $250 per month. Now I have to go to local docotrs and to Atlanta only once in a while when I have extra cash. They require $3000 in advace , now to treat new patients. When I was going there they took monthly payments. Google Fibrlmyalgia and Fatigue Center of Atlanta and you'll get their phone number and address. If you Go , try to get on with Dr. Bullington, she's the best. Used to be a missionary. Good Luck and God Bless.