New here, finally!

[Meesha]

If this is confusing at all - I apologize...I am trying to condense tons of information into this space while sick in bed...home from work.

My name is "Meesha". I am a military wife of 17 years, this year. Mother of 6: 5 boys and 1 girl. I live in the Northwest with my husband and two boys still at home, two golden retrievers and 1 'annoying at 4 am' cat.
Over ten years ago, I lifted a box while shopping at Costco, and turned and pivoted on my ankles to place the box into my car. Well, I didn't notice anything at the time. BUT - the next day while trying to do my exercises, it started. I tried lifting my right leg off the floor and it became more and more like cement. It became paralyzed and I couldn't move it at all without physically lifting it with my hands. It was a ruptured disc, however, it took over a year before the doctors even sent me in for an x-ray. This was the beginning of the end. I became sicker and sicker, and the pain has gotten worse and worse from this event.
I started getting more and more pain, and have been to a myriad of doctors ever since. One doctor decided to give me a neck adjustment to ease pain, causing a "whiplash" of sorts that lasted for a YEAR! Simple procedures have since become very difficult for me. I require twice the amount of pain medication on my left side, for any procedure, because for some reason, 1 dose doesn't stop pain.
The things that we go through with this are amazing: I am not the same person. :?: I have since had to deal with getting sick for years, all the time. Pain in all of my joints; pain that occurs with heat and swelling, most of the time. Depression is a huge one! I get so sad and I have NO idea why. I will just start crying for no reason. The anxiety is also an incredible thing. I get so anxious that I hyperventilate. I will have anxiety attacks over going to visit family...family that I love, and family that I have visited 150 times before. It makes no sense.
My doctor decided to send me to a specialist who diagnosed me with fibromyalgia about 3 months ago...and thank goodness because every test for Lupus, MS and the other myriad of things were all negative. I was in my doctors office in tears, asking her to PLEASE help me...I am only 40. I shouldn't feel like I am 90!
The worst is the physical pain. The pain is SO bad that I have been seeing a pain management doctor for 3 years now and am on hydrocodone and tramadol daily. I don't want to take the medication, however, I do NOT know what to do. I try to exercise, however, I am very limited in what I can do because of the previous back injury. I cannot lie on my back, so Yoga is very limited. No sit-ups or crunchers...I walk alot. Running hurts my back and shoulders immensely.
On top of this, my thyroid decided to malfunction 3 years ago, causing me to gain 30 pounds. So, I went from size 6 to size 14! And it doesn't make me feel ok, however, I cannot do ANYTHING to change this. This also makes me very depressed and frustrated.
So - I figured I would find a place with other people who have experiences like me. I am beyond frustrated with what the Universe has decided to drop into my lap, but, I am hoping to find other people to talk to and get to know!
Thank you so much for listening to me whine for a moment! I appreciate your time!

 

[Forgetmenot]

Welcome, Firstly your not alone. I've stuck on tons of weight since fibro knocked on my door.i take tramadol and paracetamol to help with the pain. Atm I have very bad pain in my tail bone. It's so painful . I have shoting pain down both arms ,my legs get so heavy I can't get up the stairs.and I have three grown teens and a three year old.i walk everywhere like u . I'm 42 going on 100.i also have bi polar 2. Crying is part of depressions as im sure u know.
I always try to see it as a release mechanism .u don't alway no why your sad you just are.this illness is enough to make anyone cry.
For me Id hate the cfs feeling like I'm made of lead and can't move does me in.i also suffer from sore skin,you have no idea how painful that is when I can't even put your arms by your side.
I have had fibro for years now .i call him Fred.yep I had it so long I've now givin him a name lol.
I have never been offered scans just blood work. But I know Dr right I have fibro and it anit going away.
Now let's cheer u up alittle . While it ture we suffer we suffer together . U me and 1000 plus others. This site is great for off loading .or Q and A.
Someone will always reply.
Don't beat yourself up we no this won't kill us thank the good Lord.but it is a heavy burden to Carrie.
What's your day like ? Do u rest do u work ? Do u push through or give in .how do u get through your day. Maybe me and I hope others might have some tips on coping .
Anyways I'm backside is killing me so must go lay down . Omg that sounds bad don't it hehe.

 

[Meesha]

Well, Foregetmenot, thank you for the response. I work full time, I was only doing temporary work, however, an amazing position with a great company became available to me and I took it. I love my job, it is very stressful, though. I am not sure if it is why I have gotten sick twice since working there, since the end of March. Stress is very bad for us, and I am coming to learn all these things. I really do think I was supposed to work with this company and this employment stopped our move across country. The thing is, the sadness and pain have stopped me from being able to sit in front of my altar for meditation and it takes a toll on my family, too. It must be so hard for my husband...all he hears is my whining and complaining. I am just not the same girl he married.
I don't really get any time to myself during the day or at the end of it, even. We moms are usually very busy. I get up at 6 to start work at 8, home about 6 pm. I get to bed by 9, hopefully, or I am too tired the next day. So, about 6 I am cooking dinner and getting ready for the next day. It really sucks. I don't like how busy it is and hectic and how little time I have for myself. I think that is why I am so terribly exhausted. If anyone can provide any information, that would be great! Thanks!