New here and newly diagnosed

Matilda

New member
Joined
Dec 1, 2024
Messages
2
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
12/2024
Country
UK
Hi, my name is Matilda and I literally got diagnosed yesterday (with fibro), however I've had pain since I was 13. Although, at that age everyone calls it growing pains or try and blame it on low iron etc etc. I had to fight a lot of doctors to be heard and for a while, I gave up. This year, my pain has been unbearable at times and has stopped me continuing in my favourite activities and living day to day life. BUT I managed to get a new GP recently, she has been amazing and has listened and tested me etc. She is even helping with some referrals surrounding my mental health as well. Now, I am in the 'Yay answers' and 'ahhh what do I do now' stage I feel. I have been on some medication that did not help other than reducing the daily headaches and now I'm slowly getting off that one to try another. Either way, I wish there was more of a solid fix and 'not a its all just how you manage it' diagnosis. This diagnosis didn't come unexpected as a few family members have either got similar or the same condition. So, it didn't come as a surprise and it explains the brain fog.

I suppose my main question(s) is; how do I explain it to others and is it just a case of trail and error with management strategies?
 
Morning @Matilda
Welcome. I know that weird mix very well - got a diagnosis and am believed at last, swiftly followed by the Umm, what do I actually do about it now? Well done for keep fighting to get your diagnosis. I think it is good you stepped back at times from fighting with medical professionals until you felt in a stronger position to continue to get diagnosed. Sounds as though you are good at listening to your body.

Thats fantastic you have a good GP on your side, who is understanding that both physical and mental health needs addressing. And you found this forum too, hopefully extra advice and support here will also help you. Everyone knows how hard living with fibromyalgia can be.

Definitely a trial and error situation regarding meds and also our own approach to living with fibro on a day to day basis. I fully recommend you read @sunkacola post of advice for newly diagnosed. Pack with helpful info. And ask anything on here, someone is bound to step in.

as for trying to explain to others what fibro is and how it impacts you? Thats a hard one. In the UK, FMAUK ( a fibro action group) can offer booklets to be posted or downloaded which those closest to you may want to read. May be other info there that can help you.

I hope others can offer better advice on that side... i still havent found a succinct way to answer that towards others. I tend to say, all over body pain and chronic fatigue.
take care
 
hello @Matilda and welcome to the forum. I hope this turns out to be a helpful place for you, as we all strive to keep it a safe and supportive space. Many people will give you their own experience, let you know what helps them and what does not, and in general try their best to be there for you.

I wish there was more of a solid fix and 'not a its all just how you manage it' diagnosis.
Yes, we all do. Unfortunately, there isn't a fix of any kind, solid or otherwise, for most of us. Truly, this is a syndrome that has no one thing or even set of things that will help everyone -- or that will not help anyone either. The only thing you can do is experiment to find out what is the most helpful for you.

I recommend you read my advice post, which will give you some starting places for that experimentation. It's pinned at the top of the General forum section.

Another thing I recommend is that you be as active as possible in taking care of yourself. The vast majority of us have found that relying on doctors for help is not the best approach. About all that most doctors can do is prescribe pain medication. If you get a medication that helps you, that's great, but some of them are addictive and others cause side effects or stop being effective after a time. I am not trying to discourage you from trying medication, only offering a little word of caution. I, and others, have had some bad experiences with medications, so approaching them with caution is always a good idea.

Basically, keeping stress to a minimum, eating a very healthy diet (whatever that is for your body), keeping sugar and alcohol at a minimum, getting some form of daily exercise, maintaining a positive approach to things, and getting sufficient sleep and rest while pacing your activities are all things that seem to be helpful, if for no other reason than that they support better overall health which in turn will help you to manage the fibro symptoms. Other specific tips and tricks for managing certain things, like brain fog or specific pains, you can learn just by asking here in the forum. People here are eager to help others.

As for describing it......this is entirely up to you, and may also involve some trial-and-error. Mostly, however, we find that no one is really going to understand unless they, too, have or have had chronic pain and fatigue. One bit of advice I tend to give is not to expect others to understand, because they won't. Instead, only ask them to believe what you say and not give you a hard time about it. How you describe your experience of fibro is up to you, but I have found that mostly people don't want to hear a lot about it. I have also found that it doesn't help me to talk about it with others except on this forum.....but your experience may very well be different and if it helps you to talk about it with someone, and you have a person who can listen helpfully, then by all means do that.
 
Welcome @Matilda You've come to the right place: the BEST fibromyalgia forum on the planet. You'll find a wealth of information exploring the different forums and topics. The search tool is also a great feature to employ.

How you explain FMS to others is a personal choice. Best case scenario, in my experience, is when I tell someone and they know of someone else close to them who had or had it, so they get it and are sympathetic. Worst case: "Oh, but you look fine to me!" You probably have been diagnosed with other issues too, like back issues or neuropathy, etc. Sometimes, people understand those better. Honestly, I tell people, but I cannot allow myself to care whether or not they empathize. If they don't, I don't include them much in my life. If they do, I keep them close. Some people I just don't need to tell.

Sadly, yes, our FMS is unique. Each one of us has our own personal "brand" of FMS, so trial and error with management/treatment strategies is part of the journey. When you do start something new, try just adding (or cutting) one thing at a time, and give it a few months before trying something else. Otherwise, you won't know which one of the several things you did at once is helping. So, it requires a LOT of patience and it is a slow journey.

Pay attention to your mental health and wellbeing, too. The connection between the mind and body is a strong one, and one will affect the other. Here, you will get BOTH ideas for pain management and a connection with others who "get" you. Neither one of those two things should be underestimated. We're here to help each other in EVERY way.

Hugs and I'm so glad that you found us!
 
Hello
New here as well
Day 4 of Cymbalta day four of migraines so will probably stop taking it

Saw a great quote I wanted to share
“ someone with a chronic illness, never pretends they’re sick, they pretend to be well”
I think thats it in a nutshell
Looking forward to learning and sharing
 
Oh @galp23

I am definitely stealing that quote. Very apt. We all do that " oh, I'm ok" when we really arent. Sometimes its easier to give people what they want to hear.

And welcome to you too! You have found yourself in the perfect place to do just that- learn and share.

 
@galp23 , welcome to the forum. I hope this place is helpful to you. Thanks for that quote....it's a really good one.
Cymbalta helps some people and doesn't help others. It has a lot of side effects for some people, so if it is giving you migraines, it is wise to move on to a different medication. I also recommend to newcomers that they try other non-medication approaches as well, and there's a post about that which is pinned at the top of the General forum.
Ask any questions you may have, and we will do our best to help you.
 
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