Josee51
Member
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 17
- Reason
- Undiagnosed
- Diagnosis
- 00/0000
- Country
- CA
- State
- Manitoba
For as long as I can remember, pain has been part of my life. Maybe not as a young kid but as early as 18 years old I remember a 6 month episode of headaches and dizziness that no doctor (I saw about 9 or more), could explain. I was tested for things that I didn’t knew but I know they screened me with a fine tooth comb. I really thought I had a life threatening disease but everything came back normal. I guess that’s when I kind of learned how to deal with pain and health issue without expecting much. Then it became more subtle and slowly went away but left a sort of body weakness that never left although there was good days and bad days.
I guess through the years, I was so use to live with it that felt it was part of me and I tried to cope, aside from bad days when I had to be somewhere but couldn’t make it because of abnormal tiredness and pain. I never was someone to self-pity so I would rest and then go on. As I look back today with the more frequent episodes of pain and fatigue, I can say without a doubt that since my 30’s, the pain became more frequent, lasted longer and was stronger but myself, I was and still am weaker.
Then it went downhill with more symptoms that made it harder for me to live a normal life. I know that most of the time I appear to be ok, sometimes great (and sometimes it was real but only 25% of the time). I was told so often that it was in my head that I, for a while, almost believed it. I insist on the almost because when I was home and was trying to accept that it might be possible, I never really could believe it because everything in my being was screaming differently. The pain was and is real. I might not be a doctor nor a genius but I consider myself very knowledgeable and very intelligent. I can be in pain and not showing it, up to a point.
I’m now 51 years old and in the past 4 years I have been feeling the worse in my life. Some symptoms are familiar because I had them for years but they hurt so much more as they spread and some new ones have occur. Here’s the list of most of them (as much as I can remember because amongst the symptoms is short-term memory or forgetting something momentarily) and if I don’t feel it at the moment, it might skip my mind.
Symptoms
Muscle pain:
Back: always (no break)
Neck: always
Arms: last 2 years (no break)
Shoulders: always (on and off)
Chest: always (on and off), but mostly on in the past 6 months
Legs: last 2 years
Charley horse: never before the last 2 years, now once a week at least
Pelvic pain: since my 20’s (on and off), the last 4 years at least every month.
Muscle pain widespread: on and off between my 30’s and 40’s and every day since at least for 1 ½ year.
Stiffness all over my body
Tingling and numbness in my hands and fingers
Fatigue: All my life (with short period I felt ok but never great). Got worse in the past 3-4 years. It’s getting harder to start and finish my day. Even on weekends, I no longer plan anything because I don’t know how I will feel then.
Headaches: They were terrible in my 30’s and then I got a break. They were always there on and off. Lately it’s almost every day
Bladder problem: 5 years (what we call normal in women near menopause) but for the last year, I can’t no longer go to bed without a pad. I’ve been wetting the bed at least once a week, sometimes more.
Concentration: Use to be ok but in the last 5 years started to have brain fog and it has increased significantly in the past 2 years. Some things that I used to do easily, I now question because cognitively, I have issues. Getting hard to process information.
Vision: Problem focusing. I feel it’s linked to my fogginess but can be wrong. My eyes get tired so much more quickly.
Tinnitus: Started in one ear in 1986 and then in both I don’t remember when but not so long after. I was diagnosed with hyperacusis around the same time.
I’m sure I forget some but these might be the most frequent and bothering ones. Basically it
became scary to find out a little more every day that I can’t do what I use to be able to do.
Carrying a laundry basket even not heavy with dry clothes, I can’t no more and if I’m on a good
day and do it, I’ll pay for it later within an hour as the pain will level up.
Reaching for anything a bit high but that I can reach, will immediately hurt me with huge
muscle pain. Scratch by back if itchy, no can’t do. I can’t walk long distance anymore (what
most people would call very short distance) without being in huge pain.
I have to double-check most of my writing even in my first language. I used to be so good at
that and still am but found out lately some appearance of mild dyslexia and for me who used
to be so fast at writing and reading, I’m way more slow. I work with numbers, it’s the same.
For the past 5 months, I try to vacuum every Saturday and sometimes I can’t because of pain
and lack of energy. But when I do, I’m so exhausted and so much in pain after that I can’t do
anything else for the rest of the day.
I don’t wear make-up anymore. That’s not me. Too painful to lift my arms, too tired to do it.
I’m slowly but surely without a doubt becoming the shadow of myself. I could live with a
Little pain but not with this as it got way worse than what it was. While I still have some
willingness to fight even if it’s getting low, I want to address this because at 51, if this is
how it’s going to be for the rest of my life, I’d rather not live it. I’m willing to fight but I need to
be taken seriously. This is NOT in my head, this is real and if not taken seriously, I’m done.
I guess through the years, I was so use to live with it that felt it was part of me and I tried to cope, aside from bad days when I had to be somewhere but couldn’t make it because of abnormal tiredness and pain. I never was someone to self-pity so I would rest and then go on. As I look back today with the more frequent episodes of pain and fatigue, I can say without a doubt that since my 30’s, the pain became more frequent, lasted longer and was stronger but myself, I was and still am weaker.
Then it went downhill with more symptoms that made it harder for me to live a normal life. I know that most of the time I appear to be ok, sometimes great (and sometimes it was real but only 25% of the time). I was told so often that it was in my head that I, for a while, almost believed it. I insist on the almost because when I was home and was trying to accept that it might be possible, I never really could believe it because everything in my being was screaming differently. The pain was and is real. I might not be a doctor nor a genius but I consider myself very knowledgeable and very intelligent. I can be in pain and not showing it, up to a point.
I’m now 51 years old and in the past 4 years I have been feeling the worse in my life. Some symptoms are familiar because I had them for years but they hurt so much more as they spread and some new ones have occur. Here’s the list of most of them (as much as I can remember because amongst the symptoms is short-term memory or forgetting something momentarily) and if I don’t feel it at the moment, it might skip my mind.
Symptoms
Muscle pain:
Back: always (no break)
Neck: always
Arms: last 2 years (no break)
Shoulders: always (on and off)
Chest: always (on and off), but mostly on in the past 6 months
Legs: last 2 years
Charley horse: never before the last 2 years, now once a week at least
Pelvic pain: since my 20’s (on and off), the last 4 years at least every month.
Muscle pain widespread: on and off between my 30’s and 40’s and every day since at least for 1 ½ year.
Stiffness all over my body
Tingling and numbness in my hands and fingers
Fatigue: All my life (with short period I felt ok but never great). Got worse in the past 3-4 years. It’s getting harder to start and finish my day. Even on weekends, I no longer plan anything because I don’t know how I will feel then.
Headaches: They were terrible in my 30’s and then I got a break. They were always there on and off. Lately it’s almost every day
Bladder problem: 5 years (what we call normal in women near menopause) but for the last year, I can’t no longer go to bed without a pad. I’ve been wetting the bed at least once a week, sometimes more.
Concentration: Use to be ok but in the last 5 years started to have brain fog and it has increased significantly in the past 2 years. Some things that I used to do easily, I now question because cognitively, I have issues. Getting hard to process information.
Vision: Problem focusing. I feel it’s linked to my fogginess but can be wrong. My eyes get tired so much more quickly.
Tinnitus: Started in one ear in 1986 and then in both I don’t remember when but not so long after. I was diagnosed with hyperacusis around the same time.
I’m sure I forget some but these might be the most frequent and bothering ones. Basically it
became scary to find out a little more every day that I can’t do what I use to be able to do.
Carrying a laundry basket even not heavy with dry clothes, I can’t no more and if I’m on a good
day and do it, I’ll pay for it later within an hour as the pain will level up.
Reaching for anything a bit high but that I can reach, will immediately hurt me with huge
muscle pain. Scratch by back if itchy, no can’t do. I can’t walk long distance anymore (what
most people would call very short distance) without being in huge pain.
I have to double-check most of my writing even in my first language. I used to be so good at
that and still am but found out lately some appearance of mild dyslexia and for me who used
to be so fast at writing and reading, I’m way more slow. I work with numbers, it’s the same.
For the past 5 months, I try to vacuum every Saturday and sometimes I can’t because of pain
and lack of energy. But when I do, I’m so exhausted and so much in pain after that I can’t do
anything else for the rest of the day.
I don’t wear make-up anymore. That’s not me. Too painful to lift my arms, too tired to do it.
I’m slowly but surely without a doubt becoming the shadow of myself. I could live with a
Little pain but not with this as it got way worse than what it was. While I still have some
willingness to fight even if it’s getting low, I want to address this because at 51, if this is
how it’s going to be for the rest of my life, I’d rather not live it. I’m willing to fight but I need to
be taken seriously. This is NOT in my head, this is real and if not taken seriously, I’m done.
