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Eff fibro

Active member
Joined
Oct 13, 2014
Messages
38
Reason
Undiagnosed
Diagnosis
10/2014
Country
US
State
MA
Every time I call out of work I break down crying. It breaks my heart that 1, I cannot SAFELY do my job (as a home health nurse) due to fatigue and mental fog, 2, I cannot be reliable for families who depend on me, 3, I'm losing out of the rewards of caring for others, which is in and of itself depressing, and 4, its reflecting poorly on my work ethic at my new-ish job. It's not my ethic, though, I WANT to work... I just don't feel safe. And that makes me cry. And then I second guess myself and wonder if I'm feeding into the fibro and making it worse. Am I subconsciously not wanting to work and therefore I feel worse than I actually should?
I worked at a hospital for 2.5 years before my current job and I was miserable. I almost gave up nursing completely because I was so often feeling too fatigued or foggy to feel safe working. It was a very demanding job and wore me out. Then I made the move to private duty home health nursing, and love it. Most days I come home from work in a happy mood because I enjoyed working with my patient. The days I come home unhappy its usually due to pain. I KNOW at the hospital, I was mentally and physically overwhelmed and that made me miserable all around (even broke up with the love of my life for 5 months because I was in such a bad place, so angry). That made me dislike going to work. So now I wonder if that's led me to have a bad work ethic and is carrying over into my new job? But the first 8 months at this job I was doing so well... then the symptoms went from occasional fatigue and fogginess to having shooting and burning pains everywhere everyday, having a constantly achy back (for which I'm doing PT, feel stretched out by the end of the day, but every morning I wake up with my back aching), and most recently I'm starting to lose my balance more. I'm going for a second opinion for neuro...
So I was in the shower and closed my eyes and lost balance... which led me to doing some neuro tests on myself. I'm unable to maintain balance with my eyes closed (positive Romberg test) which, based on my other symptoms, indicates its likely a lesion somewhere in my nervous system which makes me question if something was missed on my brain MRI or if its not in my brain. After a weekend of intense allodynia (holy crap that symptom is no joke!) I had just accepted my fibro diagnosis, but now this balance thing has me wondering if there's more to it. I've rambled enough... thoughts? Opinions, advice?
 
I know what you are feeling. I am a medical assistant that works for the state in the clinic. I have started to just "forget" what I am in the middle os (including office procedures). I have made mistakes in the lab. I know better, this is not me. I have contemplated giving up the medical field and trying something else part time. I don't want to give it up but worry I make a really bad mistake I cannot come back from. I cried at work the other day because of an error I had made. I was able to fix it but if it was not caught could have been bad. I too cannot close my eyes in the shower or stand on one lef because I will fall. I was diagnosed with chronic hydrocephalus. A nuerologist attempted a lumbar puncture four times! Hit my nerves 3 out of 4 times. I Now have severe lower lumbar pain, I can't even get through feeding the cats without the pain taking me over. I am seeing a neurosurgeon Monday. Not sure what to expect. I hope we both get the answers we need :-)
 
Thank you for your reply Tharper, just hearing someone else in a similar situation makes me feel less alone. I'm sorry you're having trouble at work, I hope it gets better or you find a better alternative. I'm dreading the day I potentially make a med error or collapse when trying to lift a patient. I feel like I'm getting dumber and dumber. I can't remember 90% of what I learned in nursing school to the point it almost scares me. I, too, contemplate changing to a less.... potentially life altering job. I just hope I'd catch an error too! But the possibility that I might not... is heartbreaking. To feel unsafe doing what you worked & studied so hard to do.
Oh goodness he hit a nerve THREE times?!?!?! Was that 3 attempts in one visit or separate visits? Ugh, I cannot imagine the pain. I had a dentist hit a nerve in my face when injecting novocaine and holy crap, like electric shocks shot up the whole side of my face, not fun. And that was only my face! I cannot imagine in the back...
So if my new neuro suggests a lumbar puncture...? Now I'm scared! lol. No, I know the risks and I hear horror stories and then doctors talk about how important it is and rare problems are and blah blah blah. And part of me hopes the doctor wants one so I can have more definite answers, but then I don't want to go through such a risky procedure.
I second you on hoping we get answers :)
 
Thanks eff fibro. yes all four attempts to do the lumbar puncture were in the same visit. I have an appointment with a nuerosurgeon Monday. EEK!
 
Hi eff, my name is Lisa. I relate to alot of what you are going through and saying. I work as a manager in a very busy retail store chain. It is mentally and physical demanding job. I have been off work for three weeks now in severe pain in lower back and hips. I had a mri and it showed I have bulging disc in 3-4,4-5 and l5-s1 that are pinching my nerves. Went to a surgeon Friday and he said he could not do anything it is all due to fibro. So he is sending me to a pain specialist. During the visit he acted like I had the plague. I know he did not want to help me becuase of fibro. So now I am back at sqaure one not knowing what to do. I still have the pain andcan not return to work.I hope things get better for you soon.
 
Tharper, my dad had surgery this year for chronic or adult onset hydrocephalus. He had a programmable shunt placed in his head to drain off excess fluid. He was stumbling and shuffling and had bad memory issues. He has recovered 100%. There is hope! He had a lumbar puncture to drain off some fluid before the surgery to see if there was improvement. Apparently that is a test to see if the surgery will help. I wish you good health.
 
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