living with fibro and staring a family

[Swesty101]

Hello I'm new to this forum, I've been on a few fibro support groups, and unfortuantly the only discussions or sharing was people taking about medication. Anytime I reached out about other issues, quality of life, trying to see if I'm not along... Nothing. The main reason I've been reaching out lately is I've been with my Amazing partner for a few years now and we want so badly to start a family and the small group of people I've come to know all had their children before the came to have fibro or any other health problems. The first two years after my diagnosis I basicly spent in a bed (I ended up developing agrophobia) which later I started treatment for and have come a long, long way from. In the last few years I have spent most of my time educating and documenting myself on my illness, I've been involved in a pain managemt program and seen lots of people with lots of ideas, beliefs on how best to get through life.... Quality of life is one main thing that has come up time and time eating right sleeping right, exercise (pacing) so to strengthing my body to be more resilience and the right types of medication for me. Sorry I'm going on just trying to paint a picture here, and I am ALWAYS trying to do these things but its had when every other week I'm dealing with a flare up or migraines so bad I'm bed ridden in the dark or throwing up. Not to mention the fatuige and inconvenience of IBS. Now my question is (and any sharing of their expenance would mean the world to me) Living this lifestyle, pain everyday etc has anyone decided or just happened to fall pregnant and if so if u could share your experience with me ..... I'm scared... But I want this so so much

 

[Forgetmenot]

I had a little girl two years ago. I have three teens and I've had fibro for 12 years or so. Pregnancy if different for us all ,but for me this time my fibro went away the whole 9 months.and she was three months before it came back. But I was being sick right up to the day she was born.no one can tell u how u will feel , and for me she keeps me out of bed ,I'm a firm believer movement is the key to not ending up in bed in the first place. But weather that works for me forever I don't no. This is a great site with lots of ppl who will talk to u .hope this helps and hear from you soon x

 

[Loftpat]

I'm a grandma who didn't get fibro til midlife, but here are my thoughts. Do you have a good support network who understands fibro? Is your partner willing to take on more than 50/50 child care at times? Do you have a child you can "borrow" for awhile to test the waters? As an engaged gramma, I know I have to pace myself with a very active toddler. I'm good for about four hours and then we both nap. She's just 22 months and understands when gramma needs a bit of a break. Though I don't know what I would do 24/7, I think it's important to figure out realistically what you can and can't do. Obviously staying in bed for days is impossible with a child unless someone can step in. Pacing would be important as well as finding things you can do versus what you can't do.
No child comes with an instruction manual. Your life might look very different than that of a mom who has tons of energy and no pain. So don't measure against that. Be painfully honest about the impact a child will have on your life and how fibro will influence how you parent your child. I lived with migraines while I was raising my son (still do). Some days you just have to push through the pain and puke when you can. There were days when I prayed for the time his dad would be home. It was hard. Being loving and present for your child is tough when you are in pain. I think the thing I learned is that you cannot let your pain boil over onto your child, but you can find ways to coexist on the really horrible days.
You said you have and are finding ways to cope with fibro. Maybe the best gift you could give your child is to take some time to continue that journey before you become a mom. I believe most things are possible with preparation, self reflection and support. I wish you well. Hugs

 

[Pollen]

This is a worry I share too. My husbands mother is all "you can't be on medication for 2 years before a pregnancy" and I'm like, there is no way that is possible. I may even have to take medications during pregnancy. The worst thing you can do for your unborn child is be in unnecessary distress. There is more of a risk to your baby than being on certain medications. There are special OBs who deal with high risk pregnancies you would need one, and if you are planning on having a child and want answers they may just be what you need. It sounds to me like you are very dedicated to your wellness and as long as you continue to care for yourself, you get help when you need it and you love and care for your child you have every right to start a family no matter what other people say. If you are dedicated to find a way to make it work you will.

 

[sideline]

I have been living with fibro for 10 years now. My little guy is 17 months old now. It was definitely a tough pregnancy but I managed. I reduced my meds as much as possible with my doctors help but I had to stay on a small dose. The risk to the baby was less by me taking a small dose rather than me being unmedicated. You have to review the situation, review the options and ultimately make the best decision for yourself and your baby. And that will just be the first one of those types of decisions because they just keep coming and coming once the child is born. Once my son was born I had to up my meds back to regular doses within about 2 - 3 months because of the hormone dump that comes after giving birth. I still have pain, I still have mental issues, I still have all the same things I had before I was pregnant, but my son makes everything a lot easier to deal with. Well not so much in a physical sense, my legs are so very sore at the end of the day from chasing him!

Do what's best for you and your family. Feel confident in your decisions and then enjoy them. If you want a child you will figure out a way to do it and do it well.

 

[Pollen]

I have been living with fibro for 10 years now. My little guy is 17 months old now. It was definitely a tough pregnancy but I managed. I reduced my meds as much as possible with my doctors help but I had to stay on a small dose. The risk to the baby was less by me taking a small dose rather than me being unmedicated. You have to review the situation, review the options and ultimately make the best decision for yourself and your baby. And that will just be the first one of those types of decisions because they just keep coming and coming once the child is born. Once my son was born I had to up my meds back to regular doses within about 2 - 3 months because of the hormone dump that comes after giving birth. I still have pain, I still have mental issues, I still have all the same things I had before I was pregnant, but my son makes everything a lot easier to deal with. Well not so much in a physical sense, my legs are so very sore at the end of the day from chasing him!

Do what's best for you and your family. Feel confident in your decisions and then enjoy them. If you want a child you will figure out a way to do it and do it well.

Great post! Some medications can be reduced others cannot even be taken during pregnancy. Unfortunately there is evidence that I may not be able to successfully accomplish implantation on my medication. Changing meds sucks! I wish I had a high risk pregnancy doctor I could ask if the information I found out was legit or not not many studies actually done on pregnant women after all. My medication is risk level C, it is not known whether it will harm a fetus but as it is a cannabinoid the theory is that the cannibanoid receptors that tell the fetus when to grow and develop would be messed up but hey women have has kids while chronically using pot so maybe there is hope! Most of the literature suggests it is actually the smoking aspect of MJ use that causes the adverse affects to babies vs the actual chemicals. However I am on synthetic THC, it could in fact have different affects than natural THC. Who the hell knows they will never do studies on pregnant women on this stuff you can't even get this medication for fibro in the US.

 

[Swesty101]

Thank you orgetmenot;281150]I had a little girl two years ago. I have three teens and I've had fibro for 12 years or so. Pregnancy if different for us all ,but for me this time my fibro went away the whole 9 months.and she was three months before it came back. But I was being sick right up to the day she was born.no one can tell u how u will feel , and for me she keeps me out of bed ,I'm a firm believer movement is the key to not ending up in bed in the first place. But weather that works for me forever I don't no. This is a great site with lots of ppl who will talk to u .hope this helps and hear from you soon x[/QUOTE]

Thankyou so much for sharing part of your story with me ☺. Fourms are new to me sorry if I took awhile to reply, your very right re: nobody can tell me exactly how it going to go for me personally but you are now the first person Ive talked to who has indeed been pregnant while knowingly having fibro... I get nauseous and throw up a lot when my neck is sore and out of alignment, its not nice sorry you were sick all the way through but I think how very lucky your body gave you a bbreak through your pregnancy☺more one I TOTALLY agree with what you said about something driving you something important for you to keep busy etc. Again thank you for your share☺

 

[Swesty101]

This is a worry I share too. My husbands mother is all "you can't be on medication for 2 years before a pregnancy" and I'm like, there is no way that is possible. I may even have to take medications during pregnancy. The worst thing you can do for your unborn child is be in unnecessary distress. There is more of a risk to your baby than being on certain medications. There are special OBs who deal with high risk pregnancies you would need one, and if you are planning on having a child and want answers they may just be what you need. It sounds to me like you are very dedicated to your wellness and as long as you continue to care for yourself, you get help when you need it and you love and care for your child you have every right to start a family no matter what other people say. If you are dedicated to find a way to make it work you will.

Thank you for sharing with me, and thank you so much re: your positive view on the situation. I agree even though I have come off of nearly all of my meds preparing myself I'm still on a low dose slow release morphine based tablet that I am tapering down from, I've been with my GP since I was 15 and he knows me very well and I trust him emensly . my ideal situation would be totally free from all medication for my pregnancy but at the same time if it was just too much for me my doctor believes that stress on the baby could be more harmful than being on a low dose throughout pregnancy and hubba having a few extra days in the hospital getting the drug out of its system (this idea is far from ideal I just don't want to see my baby struggle or be in any discomfort or pain) But I think we will have to take it as it goes and just do the very best we can.... Good luck with your family (I'm sorry to hear your mother in law has such strong opinions especially when they are not coming from a specialist). Again thank you for sharing it really is so great to be able to talk and share with other people in the same situation as myself ☺