RationalSalmonberry
New member
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2014
- Messages
- 1
- Reason
- DX FIBRO
- Diagnosis
- 12/2014
- Country
- US
- State
- WA
I was diagnosed with fibro a week ago. This after fighting and firing doctors over the past 3 and a half years. The fourth doctor finally listened, and sent me to a neuro and a rheum, and since everything else was ruled out, and I have nearly all the apparently existing pressure points, fibro was ruled in. I fought against doctors telling me that I, "Seem a little young to be hurting that much!" and won.
Since I also have a long (12 years) psych history, and a lot of fibro meds are psych in nature, for now my psych is managing my meds for Fibro, since that way he can also be careful to not mix bad things in with trying to get my raging depression under control.
I started Gabapentin just a few days ago, and have started to feel inherently evil. I can look at what I just wrote and think that's ridiculous, but never the less, that's still emotionally what I'm feeling. On the advice of my doctor-dad I'm not taking that tonight, and will talk to my psych tomorrow.
I feel so ashamed. I'm so tired of hurting, and being exhausted, and my brain is just a constant drain. I graduated from a prestigious college, as did my sister. She's got lupus, but is now working at Google, where as I'm just a sad sack laying in bed because it's hard to sit up for more than a few hours without getting so dizzy and sore I want to throw up. I feel like I'm just a drain on my wife's resources, and my family. I feel like none of this is going to get better, and that I'm just a drain on everyone.
I'm safe enough for now, and have a support network in place to help keep that true. I just have no one I can talk to who can empathize, only sympathize.
Since I also have a long (12 years) psych history, and a lot of fibro meds are psych in nature, for now my psych is managing my meds for Fibro, since that way he can also be careful to not mix bad things in with trying to get my raging depression under control.
I started Gabapentin just a few days ago, and have started to feel inherently evil. I can look at what I just wrote and think that's ridiculous, but never the less, that's still emotionally what I'm feeling. On the advice of my doctor-dad I'm not taking that tonight, and will talk to my psych tomorrow.
I feel so ashamed. I'm so tired of hurting, and being exhausted, and my brain is just a constant drain. I graduated from a prestigious college, as did my sister. She's got lupus, but is now working at Google, where as I'm just a sad sack laying in bed because it's hard to sit up for more than a few hours without getting so dizzy and sore I want to throw up. I feel like I'm just a drain on my wife's resources, and my family. I feel like none of this is going to get better, and that I'm just a drain on everyone.
I'm safe enough for now, and have a support network in place to help keep that true. I just have no one I can talk to who can empathize, only sympathize.