Increasing Pain with Fibromyalgia

[tabid]

I stumbled across this site through an ad on Facebook. I don't really know what to write. My pain level is pretty bad these past few days. I can barely move . I am 38 years old. I have had fibromyalgia most of my life but officially diagnosed in 1995, a year after giving birth to my beautiful little girl. At first the pain wasn't that bad. I still lead a fairly normal life. Went on to have 2 more children. About 2-3 years after that, the pain got terrible. I struggled through until 2008 when I stopped working completely. I rarely do things anymore. I definitely don't make plans for stuff because it never works out. I always disappoint someone - usually me. Because I feel like a giant jerk. My friend told me that I didn't ask for this just like someone doesn't ask for MS. I know that intellectually but I still feel that I have nothing to contribute to society anymore - other than my children. Once they are raised, I don't know if I will have the strength to continue on. I probably will because I love my husband so much and can't imagine life without him. So please don't think this is some type of suicide note. It's not. Just stating how I feel right now, at this moment of time. Ten minutes from now, I'll be thinking of something else and will have forgotten I said that! LOL. I laugh, but it's true. I don't remember much at all anymore. Wow. I usually don't write so much, so if you read this far, thank you and good to meet you! Tabid

 

[Janet L]

You have to try to remain positive, which I know probably sounds ridiculous and "easier said then done", but not all days and weeks will always be so bad. Your family loves you and wants you to do well, on the days you're not, you'll find ways to cope. On the days that are better, you'll find ways to make the best of them.

Also, the symptoms of Fibromyalgia usually are the worst during child bearing years I've read - have you done much reading? I guess what I'm saying is that your Fibromyalgia pain may subside in time.

 

[TexasAngel11]

My pain also has increased lately but that usually means a 'flare-up' I understand not making plans ahead. On the good days, I try to get outside and enjoy our property or perhaps go shopping. More painful days are pretty low key and sometimes require spending some time in bed. What Janet L stated about staying positive really helps but that on some days doesn't always wok. The best advice I can give to any one is 'be good to yourself' I am 62 and also have arthritis, essential tremors and restless leg syndrome. I understand the memory thing I believe it is called 'fibro-fog' I can be speaking or writing and for some reason can not remember the word I wanted to use. Remember that is why we are here - to help each other and with all the wonderful input I am sure we all will touch someones life. Gentle hugs.

 

[aUSMCmom]

Tabid, I totally get what you are saying. I feel so useless and like there is no purpose any more. My five children are now grown and on their own so I am in that empty nest and that sucks along with the pain and frustration of not being able to make plans I can stick with. Seems no matter what it is I end up in bed all the time. I have really been down about this lately as friends that have passed on and I can't even make it to their funerals. I am seriously a prisoner in my own body. Locked inside this flesh and bone with no future worth seeing in sight.

 

[Janet L]

I can relate, I'm having a terrible day today, my back and neck are screaming. It hurts to sit, but if I sit up very straight it's a bit better, but then my lower back starts aching. It's like I can't feel right and when one thing makes me better another thing goes wrong. I tell myself I'll get through today with a smile and tomorrow will be better. Despite feeling frustrated and trapped I'm going to chat online, take a bath and try to accomplish something, even if it's just emptying the dishwasher

Fibromyalgia might take away my day, but I'll be damned if it takes away my spirit.

 

[1sweed]

tabid, hello there. This illness can take a lot out of you and leave you feeling tired and weak, and just wanting it to quit and go away, but you are stuck with it so now what. Be greatful for each day, for your husband and your children. Be happy when the sun is shining and the birds are singing, and when the times get tough like now give yourself a break. It is not your fault, and I know how it hurts when that whole big world is out there waiting and your hurting to bad to get out of bed. I put some really good tips on dealing with pain and sleep problems, in other fibro pain posts, but I will repeat some here for you. A soft thick fiber bed pad helps your body relax at night so you sleep better. Try taking a tub bath with epsom salts in the warm water. Use a healing/calming body wash soap like Gold Bond, makes your skin feel fresh and clean. Wear socks to bed and keep your lower legs warm (not hot), this will help prevent the cramps. Try and do light housework and get the children to pitch in with things that are too hard for you. Don't get to stressed out and try not to have to many things planned in one day. Be brave and just know we care about you. Feel free to ask questions and start new topic's. I am here, if only to listen and feel free to rant a bit getting those bad feelings out of your head will make you feel much better.

 

[_Nyx]

Hi tabid,

I think everyone has moments when they question their strength and their ability to continue.

I myself am quite new to the world of Fibromyalgia. I guess I have had it for a couple years now, but the pain levels were manageable. I had injured my back several years ago so I always thought my pain was related to that, or my being in school and not being active or the 100 other reasons I always came up with. Slowly the pain levels started to get worse and worse and it wasn't until I started a new job in November that things really started to get bad. I was having symptoms mimicking sciatica and after a 'non significant' MRI result my family doctor sent me to a Rheumatologist. My pain level and symptoms have increased so much over the past few months that I have had to quit this new job (I was travelling 3 - 4 hours/day to job locations 2 x week). I am super lucky that my husband is supportive but we are also trying to start our own family and it's hard to do when you don't want to be touched.

So I guess what I am saying (long windedly) is that I am in a similar place. I don't know what the future holds for me, and I can only hope to find relief (and a new job close to home). It's hard to remain optimistic sometimes especially when you keep disappointing yourself. It sounds as though you have been through a lot, but equally that you are quite strong in order to have come this far. I hope that you find some relief soon for yourself. There is nothing worse than needing to scream and just wanting to say 'the heck with it all' and not having someone there to talk to! So it is great to see that you are using this forum for some support! Also remember, no matter what you are doing as mother, grandmother, wife etc. you are always contributing to society. Everyone contributes in their own way! Your way is as a parent, grandparent, wife, educator, supporter, etc. So please, don't minimize yourself based on what you can and cannot do I believe we are hard enough on ourselves as it is

I wish you all the best!

_Nyx

 

[BrendaMarie]

The weather aggravates my pain. When it's snowing, I'm in more pain. I've been home bound most of the winter. It's hard to stay positive but for me the best thing to do is to keep busy. I do a lot of plastic canvas, reading and such. I also find that I'm in more pain if I don't move or if I sit around too much. This winter I've been doing Tai Chi and that helps but I know it's different for everyone.

 

[twiztc]

Seems like most of us are in a bit of a slump right now for some reason.
I know, as we all do, how you feel Tabid. And yes it yourself you feel most disappointed with.
I have spent most of the last couple days in tears from pain and feeling a total stupid useless lump.
I went for a walk this morning and even though it's cold and icy here it was such a beautiful sunny day I thought it would make me feel a bit uplifted. It's not far... less than half a mile and armed with cane in hand and hubby beside me set off.

It wasn't till the return I notice how slow hubby seemed to be walking and having to stop and wait for me all the time. Have I really got so slow and doddery. I bit my lip and when I got indoors and on the loo I just balled my eyes out at the sheer effort and patheticness I felt.
But that's today, tomorrow remains to be seen. I refuse to tar tomorrow with today's brush. There are many thing to still be thankful of. My dear hubby is one of them and he helps me through so much.
Let your special people in life know how special they are coz they are living with it all too.
Hugs

 

[BrendaMarie]

I think the winter has something to do with it. At least for me I know it does. If I can be out in nature, I feel a whole lot better. I really hope spring gets here soon!

 

[Megara]

Possibly the winter, or maybe the moon, but whatever I'm glad to have others to hear about it without worrying they think I'm whining. Tabid, I'm glad you found the page, we all know the days get hard to pass sometimes. What I tell myself is that things always change, a lot or a little, sometimes I feel like I'm just along for the ride and everything goes up and down back and forth, when it gets bad I have to remind myself to ride it out and a better day will eventually come around.