Chrispy93
Active member
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2013
- Messages
- 61
- Reason
- DX FIBRO
- Diagnosis
- 00/2007
- Country
- US
- State
- Rhode Island
so i have not been here is a while... fare warning, im a terriable speller, reynoyds if flairing in my fingers, and im feeling kinda spacy. so my words may be a mess.
today my son was in a car accident with my car. he is fine, thank god. but the car is not. the car's name is fred and ive had him for 16 years. i knew this day would come but... i freeked out everytime my son left with the car (which wasnt often because he knows me), the stress and worrie, that car has to last me forever, i have no money to get another. blablabla, i found myself here just interested in what people were talking about, probably looking for distraction from my own thoughts, but maybe needing to know that im not the huge looser (see cant even spell the word right as my son just came home and pointed that out) i feel like i am because depression, fibromyalgia, and all the other issues that come with those, have ruined any hope having a prosperouis life and that my son doesnt desirve the bull cr4p of being me. wow i could run with on that missery for an incredibally unhealthy length of time. but, in actuallity, reading posts, i found myself relating and wanting to share my experience on the topic in hopes my 2 cents might actually be helpful. as i sit here and shiver uncontrolably, and have to stop typing for some time because my fingers arnt working well, i realized i could probable reply to the majority of the posts, quickly got overwhelmed but them decided to just type my own post. i find myself falling deeper into the hole once again. i am dealing with a loss, morning a death, my car fred has been so good to me. it was a symbol of a turning point in my life. now because of its age, i am sure my insu will deem it totaled. and i cant help but think its happening at another turning point of my life, for the negative. to get a firmer grip on my situation; i have not paid my mortgage in 2 years and id be supprised to still be here much after winter. ive applied for ssdi and lost the full run of appeals, got a new lawyer and refiled (thank god i still had time in my work credits.) but i dont have hope that i will get approved. i could ramble. i'll spare you. i read a guote reciently; even alice had to fall down the hole before she got to wonderland. just happened to hit me the right way.
to sum up, i am in a bad spot and oddly found comfort in this forum. ii am not looking for sympathy or advise; i think i just needed to be heard. thanks for being there.
oh, and i cant wait to feel how my body is going to respond tomorrow.
today my son was in a car accident with my car. he is fine, thank god. but the car is not. the car's name is fred and ive had him for 16 years. i knew this day would come but... i freeked out everytime my son left with the car (which wasnt often because he knows me), the stress and worrie, that car has to last me forever, i have no money to get another. blablabla, i found myself here just interested in what people were talking about, probably looking for distraction from my own thoughts, but maybe needing to know that im not the huge looser (see cant even spell the word right as my son just came home and pointed that out) i feel like i am because depression, fibromyalgia, and all the other issues that come with those, have ruined any hope having a prosperouis life and that my son doesnt desirve the bull cr4p of being me. wow i could run with on that missery for an incredibally unhealthy length of time. but, in actuallity, reading posts, i found myself relating and wanting to share my experience on the topic in hopes my 2 cents might actually be helpful. as i sit here and shiver uncontrolably, and have to stop typing for some time because my fingers arnt working well, i realized i could probable reply to the majority of the posts, quickly got overwhelmed but them decided to just type my own post. i find myself falling deeper into the hole once again. i am dealing with a loss, morning a death, my car fred has been so good to me. it was a symbol of a turning point in my life. now because of its age, i am sure my insu will deem it totaled. and i cant help but think its happening at another turning point of my life, for the negative. to get a firmer grip on my situation; i have not paid my mortgage in 2 years and id be supprised to still be here much after winter. ive applied for ssdi and lost the full run of appeals, got a new lawyer and refiled (thank god i still had time in my work credits.) but i dont have hope that i will get approved. i could ramble. i'll spare you. i read a guote reciently; even alice had to fall down the hole before she got to wonderland. just happened to hit me the right way.
to sum up, i am in a bad spot and oddly found comfort in this forum. ii am not looking for sympathy or advise; i think i just needed to be heard. thanks for being there.
oh, and i cant wait to feel how my body is going to respond tomorrow.
Just so you know we are here to listen and for you to vent or talk. Message me anytime. I go in and out of my depression also, It is really hard to cope at times. I understand what it feels like to be in a hole. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you!
