Hobbies, are u kidding me?

[denellblackwell]

I'm sorry I know this is not the "vent" section, but just looking at that in writing makes my angry. My entire life I have used every bit of energy and every second I am off my back trying to make enough money to pay bills. Now I'm crying. I hate the fact that I have been broke and alone my entire life. I am so tired of not having a social life, a husband, a clean house, a flower garden, etc, etc.

 

[Ruralchick]

denellblackwell, I'm so sorry for your pain and prolonged suffering. I'm sorry that you have not had the things or done the things that you wanted, that are "normal" for others. I'm sorry you are alone and have not had the relationships you have longed for.

Although I don't see how I can personally help you, I hear your pain and frustration, I will pray for you and think of you often.
There are support groups I have heard of that are local, could one be near you? Yes, all your efforts are to fight the FM and maintain your job. But could a phone call to a support group open some small window of kindness and/or some interaction with others who know what living with this condition means?

Please post again with anything you need to.

 

[diamond]

I hear you too...the anger is your hurt and grief for all your hopes and dreams being dashed.....stay here when you want to and take care x

 

[coffee99bean]

I feel you. I have the same frustration and anger at times.
I used to make things, even had a successful home business for some time. But it was working with my hands and now I can't even type at times.
My hobby is watching netflix now. And playing with my cats.

 

[denellblackwell]

Thank u for the compassion and understanding. I had a good cry when I read your posts yesterday and on/ rest of day. My anger has always been there as that last tool in the toolbox, when no matter how much medicine I took, bathes, pain cream, etc. have failed to get me up. I had to keep my heart hard, not just to fight the fibro, but the world too. But it became very heavy and I am so very tired. I feel lighter and calmer today. Like the knot in my stomach and heart are a little smaller and I hope this is the first step to letting it go.

 

[diamond]

Glad you are a little calmer todayx

 

[Eyesup]

I'm sorry I haven't been on the forum much lately and I missed your initial post. I'm glad your feeling some better I hope you will continue to reach out when you need to.
Ruralchick had a great idea to check in your area to c if you could find a support group.
I too saw the word "hobbies" a few months ago and became ill with grief. I miss my life so much and I have days when I let go of my dreams. But most days I keep fighting. It's not over yet. You don't have to completely give up. I'm not saying hold onto false promises but keep looking for a way to make your life what you want it to be. A cure could come tomorrow.
thoughts and prayers going out for you tonight in Tennessee

 

[Forgetmenot]

Hmmm. I'm going to as always take the opposite side to this. Hobbys don't mean running flower arranging or swimming. U can find all sorts of Hobbes.even online .
There a mediumship sites u can join.and they have classes.ok u might not believe in all that , but it is fun to live chat to other ppl in the group.
Anyone's welcome. And second life is another place I used to spend my days. I could be the person I can't be in real life,u can go to discos ,ballroom dancing .all sorts.
There are chat rooms for ppl with diffrent interests. And u don't even have to leave your room.xx

 

[brett88]

My hobby is I like to go hiking and take photos of animals, especially reptiles and amphibians. I have even done some volunteer surveying for the state of Pennsylvania. Sometimes I am too much in pain and too fatigued, but it's exercise where I can go at my own pace. And I don't have to socialize a ton.