Hello! New here, have had pain and headaches for several years.

[rayman]

Hello everyone. Im not entirely sure what condition i have (-if any! could just be stress). Ive had really bad muscle tension in my neck for around 4-5 years, starting from when i was 9 (i am 14 now). It has slowly been getting worse and worse over time. I guess on a pain scale, it started out as a 1-2 constantly, and now im usually at a 4. Sometimes, for about 30 minutes, it gets really really bad and i cant move or do anything from the headaches it causes. I have a theory as to what the cause could be, my mom causes me a lot of stress (don't want to get into detail - its bad) and i might tense up in my shoulders when she yells. I suppose doing that for years and years, it just built up. Im sorry if this isnt relevant to the subject of the forum, not really familiar with posting on them. Thank you.

 

[sunkacola]

Hi @rayman , and welcome to the forum. You are welcome to be here, and to write to us, and don't worry if it is "relevant" or not....we are here to be supportive.

Have you had a chance to talk to a doctor about this pain and the circumstances causing it? Or, if you cannot get yourself to a doctor, can you talk to the nurse at the school you attend? And/or to the school counselor? It sounds to me as if your mother's yelling is extremely stressful for you, and I understand that because, believe me, if someone were yelling at me it would be extremely stressful for me as well.

The thing is, you are very young, and you are not finished growing; your body still has development to do. High stress is very damaging to anyone of any age, but it is especially damaging to growing young bodies. If this level of stress and the tension it is causing you continue at this level, it can cause your body to grow crooked or to develop problems that you would not otherwise have. These problems could, potentially, create issues you could have for the rest of your life. Because of this, I think it is imperative that you talk to someone about this and get some kind of help.

Is there anyone you can talk to? Even a neighbor, or a teacher....any adult who would listen to you and believe what you are saying and who might be able to get you some help? I think if you could get in to see a doctor it would be a good thing, and you also need a trusted person to talk to about this. I don't know if your home situation can be improved, but at the least, you need some help in dealing with it in a way that will not cause you physical harm.
Let us know if there's anything we can do to help.

 

[rayman]

I dont really have any methods of talking to someone in real life. Im homeschooled, and my mom thinks doctors are just going to tell me to exercise and that its not worth it. Im really just looking for any methods to cope with the pain and the stress, which ive been trying my best to do.

Im curious about the problems youve mentioned. What could happen to me? I really dont want any long lasting effects. Thank you for the support

 

[sunkacola]

Hi rayman....I don't know all about the things that could happen to you, because I am not a doctor, and have no medical training. I just know that heavy stress is very damaging, and that tension in muscles leads to stiffness in muscles, which in turn can lead to malformation, especially if it is affecting the spine, as it seems to be in your case. And yes, there could be long-lasting effects. What you are describing sounds to me like a situation that could cause you lasting harm, both physically and mentally.

I urge you to find someone outside of your home to talk to. There are places in most cities where people can go and find help if they are in abusive situations. I don't know if you would call your home abusive or not, but it sounds that way to me. That's just my impression -- I don't of course know what is really going on. If you are getting hit or in some other way abused, there are people who can help you. Even yelling is, in my opinion, abusive, if it reaches the level where it is causing you that much tension and pain.

You need to get help from somewhere, and since I don't live anywhere near you I cannot offer it to you directly. But I think that if you look, you may find some place where you can get an adult to listen to you and maybe help. If you are ever afraid for your life, leave and go to the police. I wish I could do more to help you.

 

[SBee]

Hi @rayman just wanted to say hello. I totally agree with @sunkacola that you are welcome on here, and I hope we can be able to support you.
One thing I did want to say is if a dr suggests exercise, it doesnt just mean things like going for a run, or swimming. So exercises ( or physiotherapy) can be specially targeted for one specific part of the body at a time. Headaches, as you realise can stem from tension in the neck. And most of us know as we can get that, is that stress ( Im thinking emotional stress here ) can really really make physical tension in the body too just as sunkacola says.

I was wondering, being home schooled and having hard times with your mum, if you have interests outside the home? It can be hard if you are in each others company maybe 24 hrs a day? If you did see a different group of people you may be able to talk with them? Also it is sometimes good just to have a bit of space away from a stressy situation.

From a practical point, gentle heat can sometimes relieve a bit of tension, - not a direct heat like a kettle for instance! Dont do anything that might burn yourself, I'm thinking more like a warm hot waterbottle,or even a warm towel around the neck. Heat can relax muscles a little bit too help ease tension.

Rayman, the most important part, is as sunkacola says, you absolutely must seek help if you feel you are in danger, or at risk.