Frustrated, sad, and kind of overwhelmed.

[EHPrybylski]

Yesterday I made dinner for my mother as a belated Mother's Day present. I went to the grocery store, prepared a meal, and that was my whole day. And it wrecked me. Being on my feet long enough to chop some veggies, put pork chops in the oven, and purchase the groceries to do so. It felt pathetic.

I'm not even 30 yet; I should be able to conquer the world, yet here I am unable to even make dinner for my mother without exhausting myself. I feel rather hopeless, and it's just another thing I have to fight with to accomplish anything. That doesn't take into account my depression which makes it hard for me to even get up the energy to try any of those things.

Ugh. Just... just ugh. Of course, it doesn't help that I've had migraines for the last three days.

 

[Trellum]

So sorry to hear that! I'm not new to migraines, and let me tell you that I admire you for doing all that despite of the migraines! Living with migraines is the worst. I've always said that I can stand pain anywhere else in my body, but not in my neck and head, whenever I have pain in any of those two places (specially the neck) I feel the urge to ignore my ''no painkillers policy'' and take something to fight that awful pain. Yup, I can't tolerate that!

Don't worry, I know things look so grim right now, but sooner or later you will learn to cope with this. I was feeling just like you some weeks ago... Isn't easy, but sooner or later you come to terms with it and learn to cope. By the way, I also suffer from depression and I know how dark it gets sometimes. Are you taking something for that?

 

[EHPrybylski]

Trellum -

No, unfortunately, I'm not taking anything for depression. I've tried many different medications, but so far I have yet to find one that doesn't have side effects that make taking it not worth it. I'd rather be depressed than nauseous all day, for example. Ugh! I don't even have medication for the fibromyalgia at this point in time. I treat myself through gentle stretching, massage, and heat.

The migraines I don't think are related to the fibro directly; my mother has them too, and man are they a pain. I know all my triggers, but since one of the main ones is weather changes I can't really avoid them no matter what I do. I appreciate the kind words, though. I've had to function through migraines many times, and it never gets easier. I agree entirely that I can handle a lot of pain anywhere but my head. I think part of that is because migraines affect my sense of balance, my eyesight, my cognitive abilities... all of that mess. It becomes a whole lot more than simply pain and turns into this monstrosity of different symptoms.

I know all the "BOO HOO LIFE SUCKS" feelings will pass, but it's still difficult to be confronted with the stark black-and-white of what I'm living with. On "good" days I can almost pretend my life is normal, but on many others even simple tasks are exhausting.

 

[links56]

I know how you feel. It's ridiculous you over do it one day and pay for it dearly the whole next week. Migraines are the worst, I've had them my whole life. For me they get so painful I eventually puke. I remember when I was a little kid rocking back and forth in the fetal position because they hurt so bad.

 

[LivetoErr]

I know exactly how you feel. I love to cook and, here in Mexico, we're having more and more people over for dinner. I cooked for one of them and spent the next two days in agony. So now, I only do a few appetizers. That only hurts me for a few hours the next day. If I get a decent sleep, it's not too bad. However, I can't stir anything as it takes minutes for my hands to cramp and become useless. That bothers me because I used to like to make sauces.

 

[links56]

My hands cramp too, it's really painful too. I just haven't been able to sleep lately. I really despise insomnia. It really gets me depressed.

 

[mariposa]

I'm not even 30 yet; I should be able to conquer the world, yet here I am unable to even make dinner for my mother without exhausting myself. I feel rather hopeless, and it's just another thing I have to fight with to accomplish anything.

Are you feeling any better now? I see it's been a week since you wrote this, so I hope you've had some relief since then.

And the migraines... have they stopped? Do you know of any triggers that start them? I know that a lot of people who get them when the barometric pressure is really low. Are you in an area where there have been a lot of storms and tornado action like I am? That would be a low pressure that could cause migraines.

 

[Trellum]

Trellum -

No, unfortunately, I'm not taking anything for depression. I've tried many different medications, but so far I have yet to find one that doesn't have side effects that make taking it not worth it. I'd rather be depressed than nauseous all day, for example. Ugh! I don't even have medication for the fibromyalgia at this point in time. I treat myself through gentle stretching, massage, and heat.

The migraines I don't think are related to the fibro directly; my mother has them too, and man are they a pain. I know all my triggers, but since one of the main ones is weather changes I can't really avoid them no matter what I do. I appreciate the kind words, though. I've had to function through migraines many times, and it never gets easier. I agree entirely that I can handle a lot of pain anywhere but my head. I think part of that is because migraines affect my sense of balance, my eyesight, my cognitive abilities... all of that mess. It becomes a whole lot more than simply pain and turns into this monstrosity of different symptoms.

I know all the "BOO HOO LIFE SUCKS" feelings will pass, but it's still difficult to be confronted with the stark black-and-white of what I'm living with. On "good" days I can almost pretend my life is normal, but on many others even simple tasks are exhausting.

It sounds like you were feeling better when you wrote me this reply, glad about that :mrgreen: Ah girl, this is the hand we were dealt to play, I know that doesn't make you feel better one bit, but believe me... once you find the way to beat that depression you will be fine! By the way, I know how the pain in itself can be depressing, specially if you are in the process to find a good doctor who prescribes you what is right for you.

I'm still looking for a doctor like that, btw. With a disease like this you better be patient, some days it's so hard, but the people in your life can make a huge difference! Try to do like me and focus on just a day at a time! Tell yourself whatever comes will come, but you will face it with your chin up high! That's what I do and am doing not so bad, some days are bad... but that's when I come here and vent :wink: Helps loads!