Fibro and depression. .

[Warwick]

Newly diagnosed with fibro, and going through some heavy stress at moment. Struggling with depression. Taking pregabalin, naprosyn, norflex and diazapam. I think the diazapam is reacting badly, leaving me sad, depressed and find myself crying for no reason. I'm anxious about being in groups of people and have hearing loss due to hunting and working heavy machinery. The hearing compounds my stress as I have to lip read, and I just don't have the concentration any more. I've read everything I could get my hands on and am more confused than before I researched it. My doctor is fantastic, and has tried to balance my meds, even offered to prescribe cannabis for me. I live on a benefit as I'm unable to work. I guess like most men I've believed my value was based around what I could do. I'm a mechanic, and a builder so between family and friends there is always something to do. I hate the days I can't get up. Makes me feel worthless, and I don't like troubling my kids( 38 and 40) as they have their own lives. How does one maintain a positive attitude when the pain level exceeds 9

 

[sunkacola]

Hi Warwick,
I fully understand what you are saying. There is a tremendous amount of stress in just being alive these days. Top that off with all the things that Fibro brings into the picture and it is deeply challenging.
Many people equate their sense of self-worth to what they can do and accomplish. This is a Western society value system that is deeply embedded in most people who live in countries in the west. When you find yourself no longer able to fulfill this requirement, it leads inevitably to depression ans many of us experience that, so don't feel alone. I struggle with that all the time, but have gotten better at handling it and you can too.

Diazapam is basically a sedative, so it may very well be making your depression worse. I would suggest you try doing without it, if your doctor approves. I don't know the other meds you are taking. I do know the effectiveness of medical cannabis, though, and I highly recommend that you give it a try. It has helped many people a great deal and I am one of them. It is very important that you use a tincture, or an edible of some form, and don't smoke it because the smoke is every bit as bad for you as cigarettes. It's also vital that you start with the tiniest dosage possible and work up very slowly to find what works for you.

work with your doctor to try different medications and try not to take too many of them if possible. Experiment. Be your own advocate.

Depression and feeling worthless have been my companions for many years, even before I got Fibro, and of course got worse. I have worked very hard to learn how to manage that. It's hard. Not everyone can do it, and don't let anyone tell you that "all you have to do is choose to be happy" because that's B.S. If it were that easy everyone would be happy. It doesn't happen overnight or quickly or 100%, but you can probably learn to lessen its effects in your life.

Here is what I have done and still do: Eat as healthy as I can. Get enough sleep even if it means I can't do other things I would like to do. Get some kind of exercise every single day. Not always a lot, some days I go for a long hike or dance for two hours; other days the amount I do is pathetic, but I do something, even if it is just stretching. Learn that it is OK to pace myself. some days that means do something, then rest. Do another thing, then rest, and so on. And I have worked hard on my attitude.

this is the hardest part. I am not some kind of Pollyanna or one of those who says dumb slogans like "attitude of gratitude", which are just annoying. but I do, every single day, look around me and feel grateful for what I do have. A home. Enough food that I will not starve. Clothes that are not tattered. Friends. A car that runs. Access to the internet. Clean water to drink. Millions of people don't have any of these things and never will.

Second, I have learned to accept what is in this moment. That doesn't mean that you become complacent, it just means you accept this as reality rather than fighting it and saying "this should not be". In the next moment, you may work to change something, but first you have to accept the facts. I have had internal dialogues with myself about the feelings of being worthless. And have come to accept that I may not be able to do everything I used to do, but that doesn't mean I am worthless. Maybe I can't build the rock walls I used to build. but I can go online and do my best to help other people. Maybe I can't be "the energizer bunny" I used to be, but I can still do my best to be someone's good friend.

And finally, I grab every single good moment I can and revel in it. If something is funny, I LAUGH! If something is cute, I take that into my heart. If the sunset is beautiful, I stand and watch it and love it.
This is what you gotta do when the things that used to bring you satisfaction are no longer possible. Remember millions upon millions of people have gone through this through fibro, or accidents that turned an active person into someone in a wheelchair, or brain injuries, or whatever. For each person it is a terrible crisis and it's the hardest thing in the world to learn to live with it. But a lot of people do learn to manage it, and you probably can too. Take heart, and be courageous to the best of your ability. Best of luck.

 

[Warwick]

Wow you got me in one. I'm a recovering alcoholic, been clean since 1991. Have 3xperienced multiple car accidents and more recently a boat accident where we were monsters by a 5 meter wave and tipped end over end. Currently I'm preparing for a court case. Got involved with a charity helping people with physical disabilities, fixing wheelchairs, mobility scooters etc. I had to close the charity, as I was the chairman, and found lots of irregularities, especially in the finances. Since then the disgruntled ex employee has been attacking me on social media and via emails etc. I'm normally hard to upset, but this time I fell apart. I found out, via surfing the net, that my friend I did everything with before I got married and my then wife scared away my friends. Well he died 4 years ago, and for some reason emotionally I just couldn't keep it together. I've dropped the diazapam, made me feel unstable. I really appreciated you replying. I know I'm not alone, just sometimes I'm too stupid to remember that. Stress seems to be a factor.

 

[sunkacola]

Stress IS a factor, have no doubt about that. the more you can lower stress in your life the better you can feel. Stop reading posts on social media. Stop reading the news! if that stresses you out, or at least give yourself a break a few days a week. Block the sender of those emails if you can or at least send them to the spam folder. Get rid of everyone in your life who causes you stress. That is what I have done and am doing. I broke up a relationship I was in because it brought drama and stress into my life and made my life worse. Since then I have had much fewer days of pain. Take care of yourself.

 

[Warwick]

Wow. Just going through a bad patch, my best mate died recently, I'm facing a court case over a charity I closed down due to financial misuse. Lots of things all at once and the meds the doctor gave me helped initially but I ended up depressed with suicidal thoughts. The adverse reactions to the meds include inability to breathe, coma and death. Back to marijuana for me. It's illegal here, but just been made legal to prescribe. Doctor will give it to me but it costs 350 a month and I'm on a sickness benefit so can't afford it. Hot baths help

 

[sunkacola]

Really sorry you are going through such hell and also sorry you can't afford the cannabis. Maybe you can shop around and see if you can get it more cheaply than that? Or do the dispensaries ever have sales? They do here.

 

[Warwick]

Medical cannabis is relatively new in NZ, and the only discount place sells for 275 a month. Is it normal to have bad times? I was managing the pain ok, then it just took over. Constantly tired. Sleep is difficult, and am usually up about 4am. Cold really causes me issues. I'm trying to change my diet, but I guess us males don't handle acceptance well. What foods do you suggest I avoid?

 

[Warwick]

Marijuana is illegal here at moment, except on prescription, and price is beyond me. There is a possible change coming on September 1, I think it allows you to grow 2 or 3 plants for personal use. I hope it comes through, not just for myself but others in same boat.

 

[sunkacola]

It's normal to have bad times, both mental and physical. I think we all do. Feeling fatigued is also very, very common. I found that the more I learned to accept my situation and work with it instead of fighting it, the less often I had serious fatigue days and the more I could do. I am convinced that happens because it costs a lot of energy to go around feeling angry and frustrated and fighting something you cannot fight. Re-direct that energy to something positive, and you may not be so fatigued. It worked for me.

Cold making it worse, having trouble sleeping are both very common. For me, cold is not as bad as cold and damp. That really turns me into a cripple!

Don't allow yourself to use your gender to make an excuse for not making changes in your diet. That is only self-defeating. Your body is the only one you will ever have. If you don't take care of it, you will only be making yourself more miserable, guaranteed. If you are motivated to feel better, then work on that acceptance as hard as you would work on something else you want to accomplish. This is your life we are talking about. It's hard. It's lonely. No one can really help you except to make suggestions and encourage you. But it's really worth it; I know because I have been on the bottom, barely able to get out of bed, depressed to the depths all the time and taking too much medication. I am not on top now, still have very bad days, still am limited. But the difference from where I was to where I am now is huge, and I did that myself one step at a time.

As for diet, most people seem to agree that it is best to avoid caffeine, alcohol, and sugar, or at least cut down drastically on your intake of those. Avoid processed foods and eat fresh healthy balanced meals and drink a lot of water. Beyond that, do your own experimenting: try going totally gluten-free for a month and see if that makes any difference. Try no animal protein for a month. Try going lactose-free, lowering your carb intake for a month, etc. Maybe none of those will help, but you have to try it to find out. Only try one thing at a time so you know what makes a difference, and keep it up diligently for a month because less won't really tell you anything.

If there's any way you can come up with the money for the medical cannabis, I encourage you to try it.

 

[Warwick]

Caffeine is my drug of choice. I will try and replace with green tea. I actually like jasmine tea. Probably a stupid question, but sometimes when I'm having a bad day, like yesterday, my hands swell up. Not to huge size but puff up I guess about 20 to 30 %. Is that something you have experienced? I've completely dropped tramadol and am feeling better, but using panadol to take edge off. I try to use as little as possible, and have used cannabis, smoked it, made oil, and baked with it, but the illegal nature of it here concerns me. I'm on a supported living benefit, invalids benefit, and if caught using it I will lose my benefit and have no other source of income. Stress really increases the pain. Am trying meditation, not well because I struggle to slow down my mind. Distraction seems to work best. I went to town yesterday, as a passenger, as driving seems to cause pain. One hour in car each way, and I was a cripple when I got home. Fell asleep at about 6pm wztching tv, got up and went to bed at 8 and woke at 5. Best sleep for months

 

[Drummer76]

Depression and anxiety is hard to deal with on top of the fibromyalgia.
I've been having it a lot lately and very tired all the time and not sleeping well. My back has been hurting way more then usual as well.
I've talked to the doctor and she isn't much help and marijuana is taboo in my state,but legal in surrounding states for medical and recreational use. Very annoying they haven't done anything here for it.
Hang in there. Good days will come but also bad days.
I'm on so many medications I'm surprised I can keep up with them. I have to write them all down and times I need to take them since I can't remember a darn thing.

 

[Geeena]

Hi Warwick,
I fully understand what you are saying. There is a tremendous amount of stress in just being alive these days. Top that off with all the things that Fibro brings into the picture and it is deeply challenging.
Many people equate their sense of self-worth to what they can do and accomplish. This is a Western society value system that is deeply embedded in most people who live in countries in the west. When you find yourself no longer able to fulfill this requirement, it leads inevitably to depression ans many of us experience that, so don't feel alone. I struggle with that all the time, but have gotten better at handling it and you can too.

Diazapam is basically a sedative, so it may very well be making your depression worse. I would suggest you try doing without it, if your doctor approves. I don't know the other meds you are taking. I do know the effectiveness of medical cannabis, though, and I highly recommend that you give it a try. It has helped many people a great deal and I am one of them. It is very important that you use a tincture, or an edible of some form, and don't smoke it because the smoke is every bit as bad for you as cigarettes. It's also vital that you start with the tiniest dosage possible and work up very slowly to find what works for you.

work with your doctor to try different medications and try not to take too many of them if possible. Experiment. Be your own advocate.

Depression and feeling worthless have been my companions for many years, even before I got Fibro, and of course got worse. I have worked very hard to learn how to manage that. It's hard. Not everyone can do it, and don't let anyone tell you that "all you have to do is choose to be happy" because that's B.S. If it were that easy everyone would be happy. It doesn't happen overnight or quickly or 100%, but you can probably learn to lessen its effects in your life.

Here is what I have done and still do: Eat as healthy as I can. Get enough sleep even if it means I can't do other things I would like to do. Get some kind of exercise every single day. Not always a lot, some days I go for a long hike or dance for two hours; other days the amount I do is pathetic, but I do something, even if it is just stretching. Learn that it is OK to pace myself. some days that means do something, then rest. Do another thing, then rest, and so on. And I have worked hard on my attitude.

this is the hardest part. I am not some kind of Pollyanna or one of those who says dumb slogans like "attitude of gratitude", which are just annoying. but I do, every single day, look around me and feel grateful for what I do have. A home. Enough food that I will not starve. Clothes that are not tattered. Friends. A car that runs. Access to the internet. Clean water to drink. Millions of people don't have any of these things and never will.

Second, I have learned to accept what is in this moment. That doesn't mean that you become complacent, it just means you accept this as reality rather than fighting it and saying "this should not be". In the next moment, you may work to change something, but first you have to accept the facts. I have had internal dialogues with myself about the feelings of being worthless. And have come to accept that I may not be able to do everything I used to do, but that doesn't mean I am worthless. Maybe I can't build the rock walls I used to build. but I can go online and do my best to help other people. Maybe I can't be "the energizer bunny" I used to be, but I can still do my best to be someone's good friend.

And finally, I grab every single good moment I can and revel in it. If something is funny, I LAUGH! If something is cute, I take that into my heart. If the sunset is beautiful, I stand and watch it and love it.
This is what you gotta do when the things that used to bring you satisfaction are no longer possible. Remember millions upon millions of people have gone through this through fibro, or accidents that turned an active person into someone in a wheelchair, or brain injuries, or whatever. For each person it is a terrible crisis and it's the hardest thing in the world to learn to live with it. But a lot of people do learn to manage it, and you probably can too. Take heart, and be courageous to the best of your ability. Best of luck.

thank you for asking this question and the answers you’ve given, I will learn from this, many thanks

 

[sunkacola]

Caffeine is my drug of choice. I will try and replace with green tea. I actually like jasmine tea. Probably a stupid question, but sometimes when I'm having a bad day, like yesterday, my hands swell up. Not to huge size but puff up I guess about 20 to 30 %. Is that something you have experienced? I've completely dropped tramadol and am feeling better, but using panadol to take edge off. I try to use as little as possible, and have used cannabis, smoked it, made oil, and baked with it, but the illegal nature of it here concerns me. I'm on a supported living benefit, invalids benefit, and if caught using it I will lose my benefit and have no other source of income. Stress really increases the pain. Am trying meditation, not well because I struggle to slow down my mind. Distraction seems to work best. I went to town yesterday, as a passenger, as driving seems to cause pain. One hour in car each way, and I was a cripple when I got home. Fell asleep at about 6pm wztching tv, got up and went to bed at 8 and woke at 5. Best sleep for months

Sounds as though you are really trying hard to do the right thing for your body, and should be congratulated for that because it's really hard. My favorite food in the world, my whole life, was bread. I ate bread at ever meal, and made all my own bread and baked specialty breads for others as well. Then, it was suggested to me that I might be gluten-intolerant, so I went off all gluten-containing foods and almost immediately a problem I had had my whole life cleared up. (This had nothing to do with fibro). For a whole year I craved bread almost constantly.....it was like recovering from an addiction! But eventually that got better and now, even though I wish it were otherwise, it is not hard at all for me to refuse gluten foods because I know if I eat it I will be sick for the next two days.

I am only telling you this so you know that I know how hard it is to give up something you love to eat. Green tea can still have caffeine in it but not nearly as much as coffee, and it is really good for you, so that's an excellent choice for you. I am really glad you dropped tramadol. I was on it, too until I realized that I was having to take more and more just to be able to function, and knew where that road would lead. That's when I decided to take a different route.

I've never had my hands swell up, but various swellings are not uncommon for fibro. I also use distraction a great deal - usually reading. When the weather allows it I go for long walks or hikes in nature and that helps more than almost anything else. It really takes me out of my mind most of the time, plus it gives me excellent exercise. Right now it's not hiking weather where I live and it's very hard to be without that.

The truth is that many people are depressed these days. I read in the New York Times that about a third of Americans now are saying that they feel depressed, and it's pretty understandable. Add what is going on in the world to the depression often caused by dealing with chronic pain and fatigue, and it becomes very intense. I am struggling with that same depression every single day. All I can do is just get through this day and then get through the next one. And I keep doing that because there's no choice, and also because I know that in life you never know what's around the next corner. It might be worse, but it could be better. Keep hanging in there.