Feeling hopeless

[Unicorn lisa]

Hey guys I’m new to the group let me introduce myself I’m a mum of two gorgeous boys I recently lost my mum from cancer she too had fibromyalgia
I recently diagnosed with fibro I’ve also got herniated disks in my spine and clicking hips
I have recently applied for pip my eldest son has long term condition with his bowels for the last ten years,between looking after my mum and my son iv put my health on hold
Since my mum died (my only support) I’ve become lonely depressed and moody the pain as many of you know is so intense l, I love diy but I can’t mange most days to function let alone do any diy I have no friends well I did but since my health went down hill they’ve all gone I’m only 38 I’m not feeling sorry for myself nor want any sympathy, just asking g if anyone else has the same feelings as me I’m hoping these bad days will become less as I wait for treatment I’m stuck in limbo at the moment as my next referral is a 52 week wait I used to be such a happy person and feel like that person is slipping further away
O don’t know if this group is right for me but thought I’d reach out what is there to lose anyway hey guys hope ur well and slid u made it this far into my very long post thank you x

 

[sunkacola]

Hi @Unicorn lisa and welcome to the forum. I most sincerely hope that this forum does turn out to be the right place for you to come, and that we can be of some help to you. We are here to offer our advice, our experience, our humor and our support.

Many people here will be able to relate to things you are saying: being a caregiver and putting your own health at a lower priority, being a mother, being young and being afraid you are losing yourself and who you are, among others. And all of us can relate to the many emotions that this brings with it, and the incredible strength it takes to get through each day, not to mention how hard it is to accept this life.

I want to encourage you not to lose hope. To hope for a cure or to have the clock turned back would not, of course, be wise. But you can definitely hope for understanding (you will find that here, for sure!!), and to hope that you will be able to find joy in life despite all of the challenges that face you now. It's possible.

I know all too well how friends fall away. I have come to believe that it's not because they don't care (although that may be true of some of them) but because they simply cannot, for whatever reason, adapt to being friends with someone who is faced with a chronic illness or condition or other trouble that makes them not able to participate in the same way they used to. Many people will abandon someone who gets ill, who loses their spouse, who faces legal or financial troubles, and so on, because they just don't think they know how to deal with it. Dealing with it as a friend is actually very simple: just don't go away, ask what would help, and listen. But people don't know that, or else just don't want to. It's not really their fault, I suppose, but we suffer from their abandonment of us nevertheless.

Whatever way we can help you, we will step up to do so. Others here are on or applying for PIP and can offer their experience.

And by the way, your post is not long and you can write all you want to. We'll read it and be here for you.

 

[Dayna]

Hello @Unicorn lisa . I'm incredibly sorry for the loss of your mother.

I can only imagine how overwhelming this must feel, and it’s okay to grieve the changes in your life. What you’re going through is hard, and your feelings are valid. It’s so hard when the people you thought would be there for you drift away. Feeling alone is completely understandable, and it doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of connection. I know it might not replace what you’ve lost, but there are others out there who understand what you’re going through—people who’ve faced similar challenges and want to connect, like the people in this forum.

Fibromyalgia is challenging, but it doesn’t define your worth or your future. There are ways to manage this, and with time, you can find a new rhythm in your life.

Gentle hugs to you.

 

[SBee]

Hello @Unicorn lisa @sunkacola has given you some great advice and I hope you feel assured this forum can help you with both advice and support. I think probably all of us can identify with how you feel you have lost part of yourself.

I guess you are in the UK as you have applied for PIP? As you are (as well as mum) probably facing extra care toward your son, I am no expert of benefits, but I wonder if any additional benefit may be applicable? Can I suggest maybe contacting FMAUK which is a fibro action group in the UK as they have information and a phoneline which include benefit queries.

Can your gp offer any further help right now? I totally understand the frustration of waiting for a referral - I too am up to a years waiting for a pain clinic appt. Maybe go can refer you to physio in the meantime? I have in the past been referred via my gp for talking therapies. This can help by speaking aloud to someone, and you have a lot of physical and emotional stress going on. I always think being able to recognise we need extra help is a strength, never a weakness.

I do hope people on the forum can help support you. Take care

 

[Unicorn lisa]

Hello lovely thank you you for your kind reply I guess I’ve just been having a really rough time lately with lots going on I’m hoping to gain k ew ideas and tips and friends through this site and to keep up eat and positive and be the happy Lisa again Babysteps one day at a time

 

[Unicorn lisa]

Hello lovely thank you for such a kind reply I hope you’re doing well, im sorry about my pitiful post I’m just having one of those days life is very hectic with my sons dla review worried they’ll take his money away when we rely on that for products for him life really kicked me in the food lately and I’m not ashamed to admit I’m struggling I’m stunned that we have sure waiting list, I’m currently in the referral stage for spinal injections whilst I wait for a appointment my flare ups are happening a lot more often now a simple task of hoovering takes forever and I’m now unable to use the bottom part of my oven due to my spinal issues I cannot bend down or lift things so waiting for op health to assess me for a built in oven being on second floor with no lift doesn’t help but like my late mum used to say to me baby bear be kinder to yourself maybe I should listen it’s hard to adjust to the new me but I’m not giving in seeing how strong my mum was with terminal lung cancer really does out life into shape I just kiss her so very much we only had each other and now I’m doing it for her and my babies anyway sorry I won’t go on thank you I will definitely look into it x take care warm wishes to you x