Emotional Abuse

[moe1959]

Currently verbal. Use to be physically. I'm tired and depressed, mostly because I'm being accused of being lazy when I'm sick. The only time I'm validated is when I've got the whole house clean. I feel like a worn out dirty rag tossed to the side.

I know a cop, but to close to drag her into drama. The recent "problem" is , the last time he said why don't you leave? I told him ok but we will have to divide our assets, he said "I will kill you before you get anything."

Let me get this straight first. I'm not afraid of him. I'm more crushed that he would say such thing.
We have been Married for 30 years, what's left for me?
I'm sure the fibro isn't helping, I'm no longer valuable to him . No more Super wife. He does everything outside, and leaves me with the inside messes, so..guess who looks like a lazy housewife?

How can I convince him, that what I'm going through is REAL.
Every day I look forward to my Lords soon return.

Sorry this is so depressing.:sad:

 

[cmetryme]

get the cop! he said will kill you. dont mess around moe and get rid of him asap. the cops can escort him out. you dont need that on top of what you have.
big hugs!

 

[kasmaflower]

You need to leave him plain and simple. They do not change. I was in a abusive relationship when I was younger and he never did change. One day I had enough of his verbal abuse and cheating and kicked him out. I realize now I should have left him right away and not put up with him for six years.

 

[moe1959]

I have a family member I'll be moving in with. Thanks. I could care less about his #$@/^/$ stuff.

 

[Loftpat]

Moe, I know you don't care about his stuff, but make sure you are adequately compensated for half of the marital property. Get a good lawyer. You need to take care of yourself and be sure you are okay for the future. Going through this myself and I truly understand. I was overwhelmed at first, but now I have so much less stress in my life. I only have to take care of me! Hugs.

 

[Ruralchick]

Oh moe, I'm so sorry! I just want to agree with everyone here, leave the guy! Get a good lawyer. Tell the cop--at least. You need this on the record. Take care of yourself. I also can't wait for that trumpet blast and away we go! Lifting you in prayer!

 

[BombayMum]

Hi Moe1959,

Till a week back I felt exactly the way you are feeling. we had this fight over nothing and I even recorded the entire thing on my cell just so that I may have use of it someday, if you know what I mean.
Then last week I took him on advice of my counselor for a session and she actually seemed to give us couples therapy. It was surprising for both him and me to see what we thought about each other as we spoke with her. He actually called me aggressive and if you were ever to meet me, one can realize how wrong that is. But that is the impression he kept.
Anyway, the point is, its been 30 years, so there must be something going well. Go to counseling first and then take extreme measures. Even if you do need to , be cool minded and don't "react" too fast and take any impulsive decisions.
You really think he meant what he said or maybe it was an instance of rage?
Wish you all the best.
BombayMum

 

[terbaer]

I'm so sorry Moe that you are going through this. How difficult that must be while also dealing with all the fibro issues. I bet his words must have just crushed you. You say "used to be physically". Was that him as well? Has he always been this way? If so, I think you are going in the right direction with leaving, except I have one suggestion for your own protection.....Make him leave. Vacating a home automatically gives the individual who stays a leg up. You say you aren't afraid of him, so don't buy into his bullshit threat. I should back up and say, consult a divorce lawyer first. They may have thoughts and suggestions to protect your rights.

I know I would be an emotional wreck. If you are feeling the same, be sure you don't react on those emotions. You say you don't want any of his stuff, but it's also your stuff too. Do what you need to protect you. You may need some of that stuff to sell for cash? You are entitled to 1/2 of all assets, including retirements, investments, home, etc.

I pray for you to gain strength. My heart breaks for you. I have gone through divorce. Different circumstances. He was not only my husband, but also my best friend. It about crushed me when I found out he was having an affair. You will get through this and it will probably be such a relief when it's done if he's been an unkind spouse. There are some wonderful people out in the world. A good one will pick you up and help you through this illness. One step at a time.....Hugs my friend....

 

[cmetryme]

moe, when i was in the ER they asked me if i was being abused and my nurse line through my insurance asked me too. those might be the folks you want to talk to about the abuse. threats are more than abuse. big hugs! im here if you need to talk. i've been through two divorces myself.