Drawing a line

[Badger]

Typical luck my browser buggered up and lost my entire message! It was some drunken diatribe about losing mum late 2019 after seeing her suffer, arthritis, Parkinson's and dementia. Then my big sister committing suicide sept 2020 after suffering Parkinson's and depression. We've tried to make the best of it for my brother's family and my sister's husband and son. Hurtful to think I've stumbled my way through with brain fog and not been present for them. Hopefully I can ease off from addiction and be more functional in future, life is hard enough for us, damage is done, we can only try to be kinder to ourselves in future.

 

[Jemima]

Hi Badger,

I'm so sorry to hear of everything you've been through, and humbled that you shared it here with us. You're so right that looking forwards and throwing the kindness in every direction is the way to move through the extreme suffering that can befall us. Nobody can be ever-present or perfect after such immense loss - and that reality makes us human rather than flawed. I wish you every success in carrying that sentiment forwards in the hope that healing awaits, and am so glad that you're here with us, as we all face a variety of pains and struggles. While we may not wish them on another soul, we can make the most out of the wisdom they bring us!

 

[Badger]

Thank you very much, I didn't look after myself well that day. It may be difficult when I'm sensible but it's worth trying and so much worse if I don't. Appreciate the chance to speak my mind, incredibly difficult doing so with family and friends but I do try in short now. I've been conscious around the children how I speak about bereavement to try and help them in an honest, healthy way. Wouldn't want them to make the same mistakes I did after bereavement at an early age. Will try and take it gently this week

 

[Jemima]

Thank you very much, I didn't look after myself well that day. It may be difficult when I'm sensible but it's worth trying and so much worse if I don't. Appreciate the chance to speak my mind, incredibly difficult doing so with family and friends but I do try in short now. I've been conscious around the children how I speak about bereavement to try and help them in an honest, healthy way. Wouldn't want them to make the same mistakes I did after bereavement at an early age. Will try and take it gently this week

A noble effort indeed - sending strength

 

[Badger]

It would have been my sister's 52nd birthday yesterday, hard to believe we've lost her. There's a lot of disbelief, anger and guilt. I had a drink or two for her, she deserves to be with her family. It's hard to see past what's happened but it hasn't been long, the rest of the time I don't want to think. At least rather than bottle things up I'm putting on a brave face, trying to be a little brighter. The experience of losing mum and my sister knocked me down, but they were gentle souls who would understand and want us to look after ourselves. Life's hard enough

 

[Jemima]

Hey Badger,

I think your perspective is such a strong one - there's no easy way to navigate through something like this. I was in my teens when we lost my Dad, and I still raise a glass for him every year. Grief seems to be striking a balance between trying to be brighter, and allowing ourselves the time and space to be sad without self judgement. Life is definitely hard enough - I'm sure your sister would be proud of you, and send my condolences once again for your awful loss. We are all always here for you