Hi all,
I am a 25 y/o woman (she/her/hers) diagnosed with fibro by a rheumatologist in mid October. I've been lurking for a while and am finally feeling ready to post.
After receiving this diagnosis, though I had been suspicious for the better half of a year, I was overwhelmed with so many emotions. There was some relief and validation, really just confirmation that my pain is a real thing that other people can understand. I also felt (and still do feel sometimes) hopeless. I feel like I'm too young to hear the word "chronic." I think I had it in my head that this was just a stressful time of my life, and once I got through it, the pain would go away. I'm still having a hard time accepting that I might feel this pain forever.
On another thread, I saw a "veteran" member tell a newcomer that this may not be something to "fight." This really rocked me. I've been so angry at my body for so long. I sometimes feel betrayed by my body. I don't know how to get past it.
What was it like for you when you got the diagnosis? How did you get through those first months? ... did you? Do these feelings go away?
I think that's it for now. Eventually, I want to get to a place where I can make meaningful lifestyle changes, but I might have more emotional processing to do before I can bring myself there.
Thank you. <3
I am a 25 y/o woman (she/her/hers) diagnosed with fibro by a rheumatologist in mid October. I've been lurking for a while and am finally feeling ready to post.
After receiving this diagnosis, though I had been suspicious for the better half of a year, I was overwhelmed with so many emotions. There was some relief and validation, really just confirmation that my pain is a real thing that other people can understand. I also felt (and still do feel sometimes) hopeless. I feel like I'm too young to hear the word "chronic." I think I had it in my head that this was just a stressful time of my life, and once I got through it, the pain would go away. I'm still having a hard time accepting that I might feel this pain forever.
On another thread, I saw a "veteran" member tell a newcomer that this may not be something to "fight." This really rocked me. I've been so angry at my body for so long. I sometimes feel betrayed by my body. I don't know how to get past it.
What was it like for you when you got the diagnosis? How did you get through those first months? ... did you? Do these feelings go away?
I think that's it for now. Eventually, I want to get to a place where I can make meaningful lifestyle changes, but I might have more emotional processing to do before I can bring myself there.
Thank you. <3
I was diagnosed a few years younger than you are now and I remember a flood of emotions! Happy to FINALLY have a diagnosis, it wasn't all in my head. Relief for a name to call it. Then came the learning. I first focused on how could I wrestle this beast and WIN. What was the fastest, easiest thing to poof make it go away. I wasn't going to let it beat me. I was going to show my body that my mind and determination was stronger. I didn't listen to my body one bit. I pushed myself so hard, I then would have a big crash. I would get mad at my body during the crashes. Angry that it wouldn't just listen to me and do what I wanted it to do. Slowly I've learned to make friends with my fibromyalgia. It is a part of me, and if I wanted to be as successful as possible, I would learn to give my body what it needed. Sometimes that was rest, or stretching, self massage, guided meditation, movement, yoga, food, rest and most importantly love. I needed to learn how to dance with my fibromyalgia and use my energy working with my body, rather than waste it being angry at what it decided to do that day. I had to learn to adapt and move with it, while still maintaining a good quality of life. Once I decided to set down the weight of anger, resentment and fear, I decided to step out of the shadows and no longer sit in my suffering. It took me a long time to learn this and truly be ok with it. You can get caught up in the crashing waves that keep coming right when your getting a breath and be dragged under.... or you can chose to use the power, strength and momentum of the water and waves, and ride those waves in, appreciating the different viewpoint.
to you for all that you have been going through. Fibromyalgia, as with many “chronic” illnesses, can be quite overwhelming when first dealing with it. Like you, I too initially experienced anger towards my body (how dare it betray me this way?) and yet when I finally accepted that yes, I am facing this, I also decided to no longer fight. Instead, I’ve been taking on a mantra that I adopted many years ago….2001, to be exact…when I learned that I was facing oral cancer. I was not a typical candidate for this type of cancer, and it didn’t run in my family, but there I was. By the time it was actually diagnosed the doctors discovered that it had spread to my neck, so I wound up enduring 7 weeks of heavy radiation treatments, with a bit of chemo tossed in for fun (believe me when I say that treatment for head/neck cancer is not fun). When I started treatments I was at first quite angry, and held onto a typical ‘why me??’ attitude…but as the weeks progressed I discovered something. Being angry at my body (my ‘self’) was doing nothing but self harm. So I began to turn things around, and every day would silently repeat a mantra in my head…. “I love my throat”; “I love my mouth”; “I love my body”; etc., while placing my hands on that body part. I do believe that this went a long way towards letting go of the anger, and towards not only accepting and being able to endure what I was facing, but being able to appreciate everything that my body still could do. And that’s what I am now doing with fibromyalgia…for every pain and ache and limited movement that I currently have, I still love that, despite this, I can get up in the morning. I can still go out. I can still walk my dog (who is proving to be great therapy for me, since he insists on his walks and playtime). I can still enjoy life, despite the pain. And I can appreciate life more because of it.
