1 Fibromyalgia - 2 Gambling

[AnonymousJane]

My sister who has fibromyalgia also has a gambling problem. She gives money for the mortgage every month, but it's not enough to cover her share and the bills. I usually end up selling jewelries, going to coin-star to make up for the difference or borrow money from friends. I've been behind on my student loan for 3 months now!

Last night, we talked about how tight money is and today, we had a huge argument. A couple days ago, she asked if I wanted to go for a 1hr hot tub and 30min steam ($27/pp); I agreed but since I know I'm about to get my period so I warned her that I may not be as good of a company. She was grateful for the warning then booked the tub and steam for tonight, but when I woke up this morning, I didn't feel like doing the tub any longer. So I asked her to cancel the tub and keep me for the steam ($11pp). Things got complicated and we both blew up. She started telling me how she's going to cancel everything because she wasn't expecting that I would change my mind, that she's already too stressed out and her medications won't work at all. I know it's her way of making me feel guilty and I'm not giving in. I'm at a point where I'm ready to tell her that we should give up the house we both bought when our mom was still alive and live separately. This has been an ongoing issue and I think we should both move on.

Though she promised to give me her full share for the mortgage on the next paycheck, should I wait 'til then? And repeat this whole thing for the next few months and the rest of my life? Oh, and she told me that I should take an antidepressant because I got issues when I get my period. HAHAH!

 

[Trellum]

Woah, this sounds tough! If you really feel tired of this situation and can do well living on your own, then go for it. Your sisters need to get her stuff together, she can't be this way forever, she shouldn't. In m opinion you'd be better off alone, isn't fair she is doing nothing about her addiction while you have to pay for it as well. Not fair.

 

[AnonymousJane]

Yeahh....even posting this and sort of "exposing" her is tough so I'll delete this after a few minutes of this post. Thanks for your response, Trellum.

 

[wulfman]

You are very patient to have put up for it for so long. Gambling addiction is a terrible thing. Financially it hurts you and more importantly the ones you love who have to get you out of trouble. I wish you the best and I think you should make a stipulation that she get help for her gambling otherwise as difficult as it may be, part ways.

 

[GemmaRowlands]

You have to have a very serious word with her, and let her know that you're not going to be financing her anymore, so she has to pay her own way. A problem with fibromyalgia is that the sufferers can get very bored, and cling onto things that can pass the time and add a little excitement into the day. Gambling certainly does both of these things, but unfortunately, money can also be lost. Why not try to help her with finding a new hobby, that wouldn't be as much of a problem? Something to keep her mind and hands busy, like Sudokus or something like that, would be a good idea. Or ask her to get help for her gambling problem, because you certainly shouldn't have to pay for her like you have been doing.

 

[wulfman]

There was an article I read where the writer said sometimes gambling is the worst addiction because if you win a bet you think you can win it all back and it pulls you back in. While in drug addiction once you are down there is no up so you aren't pulled back that easily. I don't know if I agree with this fully but there is some logic to it.