2024 was horrible for me

[Drummer76]

I'm glad 2024 is over with. Let's start out with January, Inhad shoulder surgery for a torn rotator cuff,worse surgery on the shoulder.
Never got behind the drums after that.
Then my dad's condition got much worse in August and he was in the hospital for 4 days. At the same time,I had an MRI on my lower back and found out I had bulging disc that are bothering me and it's been very painful. I have had 1 injection and going back for more. Currently on pain meds that don't work much.
Then had to out one of long time dogs down in November.
December was the worst. My dad passed away December 24th and ww laid him to rest December 30th. Then I got a horrible cold to finish off the year.
I don't think I have had a year so bad in my life. Here's to 2025 being a better year and getting my life back together and my back issues taken care of. Trying to avoid surgery but it will probably be something I'll have to do to try and get rid of the pain and off the pain medication.
Ty for letting me vent and rant

 

[SBee]

@Drummer76 I dont have enough of the right words to say how sorry I am the last year has been so unbelievably tough and sad for you. Both in your own health and also for the loss of both your dad and your dog. These are huge changes in your life. I feel for you.
Finishing off with getting a cold may be because ( understandably) you are worn by the stress of what you have faced and continue to face.

I hope in time, you will begin to be a little stronger in every way. If at all possible, try to be extra kind to yourself, rest when you can. Try to eat healthy to help your body. Well, you probably know all this but at times of great stress it can be hard to find the time or inclination to treat ourselves as best as we should.

I wish you well.

 

[Drummer76]

Thank you.
I am starting mental health therapy on Jan 29th. I feel I really need it since my last therapist left and went to another state.
It's going to take me a long time to get through losing my dad. We were close and I spent a lot of my time with him. So much that my exe girlfriend got mad and started in on me so I told her it was time for her to go. I didn't need the stress. He passed the very next day. I got the call at 925am from my mom and I hurried and got there. I'm surprised I didn't get pulled over wit how fast I was driving. I got there and he was still in bed,breathing heavily and not really conscious. He would nod his head if you asked him something,but that's all he could do. I turned his TV on so he could listen to the shows he liked until he passed at 12:50pm. My mom laid in bed with him until he passed.
I haven't lost a parent before,so this had been really rough on me.
The hospice nurse came and got him cleaned up and my daughter helped her out since she knew how to do that sort of stuff and she needed help. She has stayed in contact with us and checking up on us to see how we are doing. She said she never does that, but she really liked my dad and got to know him. She even came to his funeral,which she said she never does. He got along with everyone. He didn't even want a nurse and I had to tell the hospital when he was there in August to set it up. He was ok with it after her 2nd visit.
Before he passed,we were giving him his morphine so he was in no pain. His last dose I suggested to my mom to give him the dose he was suppose to be on so he wouldn't suffer. He passed shortly after. His dose was suppose to he .25 but it made him tired so the nurse told us to drop it to .125mg which worked and didn't put him asleep.
His funeral was nice and they done a good job to make him look at peace.
Thanks for letting me rant.

 

[SBee]

@Drummer76 I regret not being with either of my parents when they passed. ( still cannot say died in relation to them). i just couldnt get to them in time. Your whole family show a lot of love and respect for your own dad,both with your actions as he die d and your daughter helping to lay him out after. He sounds like a special person.
The shock and sadness even if you were all expecting it, is so so painful. Building the shadow box with his Colts etc I hope in time will be a comfort. I have a ring from my mum and dad, and wear them on their Birthdays - I prefer to mark the day of their birth rather than their end, but we all need to do what feels right for us.
I saw in another thread you are going to find a therapist to work with, something I have done a couple of times myself. I wish you well with that and all you are going through.
Go slowly and carefully. Take care

 

[Drummer76]

Thanks and yes I see a therapist Jan 29th. I think it will help alot to get me through this.
The shadowbox will be good for my mom so she has something different to remember him and what he liked. I have a Chihuahua that he was close to. I tried to give her to them,but she wouldn't stay,buy liked to visit with him. We watched games together and they'd both fall asleep in his chair. I have so many pictures of them 2 together. He told everyone she was his dog but wouldn't stay the night with him.
He was a good guy and didn't know a stranger.

 

[sunkacola]

@Drummer76 I am so sorry about your dad. Mine died many years ago now, but I still think of him every day and I still miss him. It is always very hard to lose a parent who is loved. The only thing that I have ever found to be helpful to me with that is to be grateful that I had a father I loved, because I have known so many people who had parents they couldn't love or didn't even know. They won't know the pain of losing someone so important to their life, or the loss of that love, but I would rather have had that person and feel the loss than not to have had him at all.
I'm sorry you are going through this. Take care of yourself and give yourself the time you need to mourn.

 

[Drummer76]

Thanks. It has been extremely hard on me and my mom and kids since we were the ones who helped take care of him in his final months. He went to the hospital in August and stayed 4 nights and they didn't expect him to live long after that. He made it another 4 months. I spent so much time there that I don't know what to do with myself. It became normal for me to be there to help or sit with him while my mome went and ran errands and get a break. Sunday she would go play bingo to get her mind off of things while me and my dad watched football.
The sad part is, my siblings caused issues after he left us,and now I didn't speak to them,which I'm ok with. They missed out on a lot of things with him by not visiting with him until it was to late. I don't regret putting my life on hold to help my parents and I'll likely do the same for my mom when it's her time to leave us. I'm going to try and get to where we laid him to rest today before it gets colder again. I haven't been there since he was put there. I don't use the words passed away on graveyard. It's left us and laid to rest. I think it's just a comfort thing for me knowing he's no longer suffering like he was.

 

[Fibrofighter39]

I'm glad 2024 is over with. Let's start out with January, Inhad shoulder surgery for a torn rotator cuff,worse surgery on the shoulder.
Never got behind the drums after that.
Then my dad's condition got much worse in August and he was in the hospital for 4 days. At the same time,I had an MRI on my lower back and found out I had bulging disc that are bothering me and it's been very painful. I have had 1 injection and going back for more. Currently on pain meds that don't work much.
Then had to out one of long time dogs down in November.
December was the worst. My dad passed away December 24th and ww laid him to rest December 30th. Then I got a horrible cold to finish off the year.
I don't think I have had a year so bad in my life. Here's to 2025 being a better year and getting my life back together and my back issues taken care of. Trying to avoid surgery but it will probably be something I'll have to do to try and get rid of the pain and off the pain medication.
Ty for letting me vent and rant

Some years feel like forever, it is like a big black cloud.. mine was 2020 when i lost my dad and two weeks after my sister. 2021 was also the beginning of crying outbursts Remember, it used to not always cloudy.. the sun is here to move it all out..

 

[Aviella]

I'm glad 2024 is over with. Let's start out with January, Inhad shoulder surgery for a torn rotator cuff,worse surgery on the shoulder.
Never got behind the drums after that.
Then my dad's condition got much worse in August and he was in the hospital for 4 days. At the same time,I had an MRI on my lower back and found out I had bulging disc that are bothering me and it's been very painful. I have had 1 injection and going back for more. Currently on pain meds that don't work much.
Then had to out one of long time dogs down in November.
December was the worst. My dad passed away December 24th and ww laid him to rest December 30th. Then I got a horrible cold to finish off the year.
I don't think I have had a year so bad in my life. Here's to 2025 being a better year and getting my life back together and my back issues taken care of. Trying to avoid surgery but it will probably be something I'll have to do to try and get rid of the pain and off the pain medication.
Ty for letting me vent and rant

Sorry for your loss. It’s difficult when life piles up on us like that.

 

[Drummer76]

It is and it's been rough, I won't lie. I see a therapist in 9 days and I hope it helps me get through all this and learn how to cope better with my dad leaving this world and my health issues.

 

[sunkacola]

@Drummer76 I really hope the therapist is helpful to you. Crossing my fingers for you.

 

[Drummer76]

I hope so as well. I've been counting down the days and I have 9 more to go and I see one. I really need the help.

 

[Aviella]

It is and it's been rough, I won't lie. I see a therapist in 9 days and I hope it helps me get through all this and learn how to cope better with my dad leaving this world and my health issues.

I hear you. I too need to remind myself it’s smart to reach out for help.

 

[Drummer76]

I hear you. I too need to remind myself it’s smart to reach out for help.

It is a very good thing. I had a therapist,but he moved out of state and we done phone calls which worked out good for me since I was helping my mom alot.
I just never got back in to a new one since my dad left us and we laid him to rest. I haven't even been back to where he is at to visit. I'm not ready for it yet.
Hope you remember to seek help when needed