Meds update

[Fibrofighter39]

Hello everyone
It has been almost a month since my last post( I guess)...remember I told u that I took Amitriptyline and a month after i started feeling down all the time so i stopped taking the med since 7.11 ...it is over a month now ....the feelings of depression and the desire to cry are not an everyday feeling now as it used 2 be..actually i would dare 2 say that I am much better now...BUT ....they still come...i am not completely fine...they come for a day or two and then go...so I am not sure if it is the meds anymore....perhaps it is just a symptom of depression...I am very strong , i always encourage myself and never think about ending my life anymore...i read and listen 2 music..even in the days I feel down in like today i get up, clean and cook....i visit my mom an d keep going ...( I am writing with the feeling of crying )

 

[JayCS]

Yes, you sound strong, good on ya. As the depressive feelings are reduced I'd agree that it sounds like it was the amitriptyline. At least there's no reason to try it again then. Are you managing to do the other things for the remaining depressive times at the moment?

 

[Fibrofighter39]

Perhaps it is the med...i find it hard to trust drs anymore cause each dr says a different thing...so that is why 4 me it's hard to determine if it is the meds..i have been off for more than a month...would u judge if i say i did not understand the question

 

[JayCS]

Hehe - You still trust docs a bit, more than your own intuition?
Seriously: it's not that docs know nothing, it's often just too complicated and we are too individual.
We can use their ideas as possibilities, but we're the only experts for our bodies.
If you hadn't heard what a doc says about it: What's your gut/thought feeling?
If I'm not sure and see the possibility of anything helping as well as harming, I try it again for a time, sometimes a 3rd time, until I'm sure myself. And then I educate my docs about that (nicely of course).
An example of mine for docs versus another versus me:
Last year I went to my neurologist, as my focal seizures were increasing.
I had 2 suspicions, he said: I think it's your amitriptyline, try stopping it.
This was the last straw anyway: 8+ sfx. He was right.
My pain docs had prescribed me amitriptyline, none had any scruples, altho they knew I had seizures.
They had also prescribed me tilidine, altho they knew that and should know that opiates increase seizures.
In case I go there again, I will educate them. Up to now I no longer have a reason, apart from showing the many alternatives I've found.
Of course we aren't born experts for our bodies. But fibro is the best teacher there is.
For us it's complicated too, not just for docs, so careful symptom tracking & trigger hunting is the only way, and that takes time, & effort.

would u judge if i say i did not understand the question

Hehe again - no, no, no, quite the opposite. Just didn't want to step on your toes, by suggesting things you're doing, as I did the other day.
Again just impulses, feel free to ask to expand: For depression we can read books, websites, do CBT, take supps, get fresh air, regular short exercise, brain exercise.
Good starting point - not sure if I've ever mentioned it here - is the "Black Dog" (not the Led Zep track).
the WHO-youtube videos "I had a black dog, his name was depression" and for our "people"(word?) "Living with a black dog".

 

[Jemima]

Hello everyone
It has been almost a month since my last post( I guess)...remember I told u that I took Amitriptyline and a month after i started feeling down all the time so i stopped taking the med since 7.11 ...it is over a month now ....the feelings of depression and the desire to cry are not an everyday feeling now as it used 2 be..actually i would dare 2 say that I am much better now...BUT ....they still come...i am not completely fine...they come for a day or two and then go...so I am not sure if it is the meds anymore....perhaps it is just a symptom of depression...I am very strong , i always encourage myself and never think about ending my life anymore...i read and listen 2 music..even in the days I feel down in like today i get up, clean and cook....i visit my mom an d keep going ...( I am writing with the feeling of crying )

Hi Fibrofighter,

It's really nice to hear from you and get an update on how you're getting on. It's funny, but what you said about how your mood is going through really short cycles really resonates with me. I have struggled with depression for some 25 years, but last year I had a period that stood out - I was rapid-cycling between being generally low and having episodes of very acute depression that would last only a couple of days, but were really, excruciatingly awful. Looking back, perhaps this was a lingering side effect of my time taking duloxetine (cymbalta) which had been earlier in the year - it's not actually something I'd considered until now. Obviously, duloxetine and amitryptaline are not the same drug, but they are in the same family. I'm certainly speculating - it might be entirely unrelated - but the duality between our experiences did strike me as interesting!

I think if you're feeling better than you were after some six weeks, then that's a positive sign that things will keep improving for you - I really hope that's the case. I know that there's always this notion that drug side effects should disappear quickly, but my experience has been that when it comes to something as fragile as brain chemistry, it can take a little longer than that! JayCS is totally right that there are a lot of things we can do to try to crack a depressive episode, so trying what you feel able to is also always a great strategy. Mastering those mentally-supportive habits can be a great resource for life, too, even when we don't feel down.

I managed to break that crazy cycling that I experienced by introducing a new supplement. Now, I'll add the caveat that I've always been inclined to very intense lows that would qualify as "rapid" phases from time to time, but the speed and frequency of those particular cycles was certainly new. In your case, you might feel that your pre-medication baseline was far more stable than mine!

I started taking Lithium Orotate, which is a form of lithium taken at much lower doses than those prescribed for bipolar disorder, as well as being in a different form. I take only 5mg per day, which is a tiny dose. I'm keeping it in my supplement routine because, after having interrupted that cycle for me, it seems to make me feel much steadier in general - perhaps not something relevant to you anyway. However, lithium is a pretty powerful substance to take, so if you still don't feel better in a few months and decide you want to look into that, I suggest really doing your research, checking interactions, and talking to your doctor about it if you're taking anything prescribed - or simply just so they know!

As I said, I think a month and a half really isn't long for the impacts of a medication to fully fade or for a depressive episode to fully lift. I'd say keep trying to take the best care of yourself that you can, and trust that this is going to pass. Maybe keep my supplement idea as a last-resort back up plan if you want to, but in the meantime, know that regular depression does usually take a few months to resolve even when given the right circumstances. Neurotransmitter receptors need some time for re-jigging! The lengthening of the days can also give this process a boost, so perhaps feel encouraged that the winter solstice is behind us and spring is on the way. I'm sure your mind will heal but for as long as you're struggling, we're all here for you.

 

[Fibrofighter39]

You have no idea the impact of ur replies ..i do tell myself all the time oh this shall pass..i am sure it will...i am strong enough to overcome this. Maybe u r right a month and a half is not a long time for the effect of meds to wear off. ( did i tell u that i only took 10 mg once a day..just imagine i took 3 times a aday..i did not pay attwntion to the drs prescription...) what makes me feel confident that it is the meds is thst i felt better and it the depressive episode was not an everyday thing anymore..hopefully it will all vanish ..i really appreciate u answering me a

 

[Fibrofighter39]

U r absoultely rightttt....each dr told me a diffrenet thing..i had a blood test that showed very clearly that i was vitamin d diffecient..my family dr said oh no u do not need 2 take supplements seriously......i read books all the time they help me a lot

 

[JayCS]

did i tell u that i only took 10 mg once a day..just imagine i took 3 times a aday..i did not pay attwntion to the drs prescription...

Similar me with amitriptyline - I got a splitting headache from the first 10mg I took, went back & talked to a different who gave me 2mg drops instead. Then I came home and found a piece of paper saying I was sposed to take half the 10mg. Still glad I got the drops, much better for me. After experimenting myself with the dosage, as the 2nd pain doc suggested, the first tho made me take 10mg for 2 weeks and then 25mg straight, thinking it'd be better. It wasn't.

each dr told me a diffrenet thing..i had a blood test that showed very clearly that i was vitamin d diffecient..my family dr said oh no u do not need 2 take supplements seriously......

Well actually there is a lot of controversy over where vit. D deficiency starts, so it's no wonder that they & the lab comments disagree with one another. But of course it's us who decide what to do with our body, based on these differing opinions, not them. We can do as the most trustworthy seeming ones recommend. And/or we can try and see ourselves if it makes a difference a) to the levels and b) to how we're feeling. Vitamins D3 and B12 belong tp the cheapest supps and have no bad sfx (B12 is just excreted and some people take D3 in very high dosages), so no harm in taking those, as opposed to all the "clever" chemically produced stuff...
I sort of agree with both sides: The regular supps I tried didn't make a noticeable difference. Only when I started delving deeper & deeper as I didn't have any alternative. But I still take D3 and B12 in the best possible quality if my levels are less than average, just to be sure. (Quality: D3 as 20.000 IE with added vitamin K2 in the MK7 form. B12 as 5mg=5000mcg (not the cheap cyano-cobalamin, but methyl-cobalamin or hydroxyl-cobalamin or adenosylcobalamin) injected under the skin once in a while - makes my levels rocket. As docs don't know much about these differences, as they can't read all studies, they cannot give a good opinion, so it's up to us to play guinea pigs ).

i read books all the time they help me a lot

Praps you can share the books on depression that help you the most?

 

[Fibrofighter39]

I read novels mostly..i don't read about depression...but u know what perhaps I should

 

[Fibrofighter39]

Amittriptyline was the worst thing that happened 2 me..i have never been so down..i wanted 2 cry all the time...hot flashes...the worst feeling ever...i just wanted 2 die...the psychatrist said that it sort of what this med does..it "wets our depression" that us why we feel like we want 2 cry...my reuhmo said tgat thus med sometimes does the oopiste work..it makes us more deoressed...so yeah lwt's carck our heads and figure what is really going on

 

[JayCS]

I read novels mostly..i don't read about depression...but u know what perhaps I should

I listed recommendations I collected on my recent book thread, 3 that @sunkacola recommended, and others....

 

[Jemima]

he WHO-youtube videos "I had a black dog, his name was depression"

I remember that video! It made quite a big impression on me years ago, when they first released it.

My favourite depression-related pop culture go-to is Allie Brosch's Hyperbole And A Half blog. It's a series of short stories with cartoons, but she captures depression perfectly, and her creations are simultaneously relatable and side-splittingly funny. If anyone wants to check that out, Google "Hyperbole and a Half depression" and read Adventures in Depression immediately followed by Depression Part Two.

 

[Jemima]

Amittriptyline was the worst thing that happened 2 me..i have never been so down..i wanted 2 cry all the time...hot flashes...the worst feeling ever...i just wanted 2 die...the psychatrist said that it sort of what this med does..it "wets our depression" that us why we feel like we want 2 cry...my reuhmo said tgat thus med sometimes does the oopiste work..it makes us more deoressed...so yeah lwt's carck our heads and figure what is really going on

I've had some horrible reactions to medications in the past. I'm sorry - it can be so scary! But I'm really glad our words are comforting. I know what it's like; we can have a sense of how to think and what to feel, but until we have that reflected back by someone else, it can be hard to trust our instincts! You're doing so well, Fibrofighter, and I'll bet that when you come out if this you'll understand yourself that bit better than before. There's always a silver lining, tucked away in there somewhere

 

[Fibrofighter39]

Thanks a bunch for the support

 

[sunkacola]

Jemima, I love Allie Bosch so much.
Her book Hyperbole And A Half makes me laugh out loud every time I read it. Especially the story about moving with two dogs.