'Tis the season for... SAD syndrome

[Momzilla]

This has been a good post. It should be renamed "let in the light"
Its funny thinking 7 weeks until the new year. 7 weeks in the summer goes by in the blink of an eye.

 

[Auriel]

That is soooo true

 

[Momzilla]

I got the dreaded frost warning tonight.
Is it weird to have a funeral for plants? Jk I won't.
My flowers.

 

[Jemima]

Really wise and beautiful words @Rainbow - thank you for sharing your insights!

 

[Jemima]

I got the dreaded frost warning tonight.
Is it weird to have a funeral for plants? Jk I won't.
My flowers.

Condolences, Andrea! I can imagine how hard that must feel What wonderfully green fingers you have

 

[Momzilla]

Thanks Jemima! The one with white blossom is a tea plant so I need to figure out how to make tea full of antioxidants! I'm going to make blueberry lavender tea one day with my plants!

 

[Auriel]

Oooooh pretty!

 

[Rainbow]

Really wise and beautiful words @Rainbow - thank you for sharing your insights!

Thank you for your kind words Jemima, though am not sure 'wise' can ever be used to describe me or what I say, I just randomly ramble on!

 

[Jeans89]

Oh gosh, I haven't read all of this thread yet, but I can definitely relate. I think I've always had a bit of a tendency toward depression - was always an "old soul", deep thinker, very empathetic. I've struggled with controlling my emotions my whole life and had some postpartum issues, etc. But the real storm came when my husband died in Oct 2011. That changed absolutely every bit of life as I knew it. Holidays are super hard. The anniversary of his death is super hard. So from Septemberish on through the holidays and then the rest of the bleak-a$$ winter, it's a serious struggle. I live in South Dakota, so the winters are harsh and long sometimes. I dread them a little more each year, I think.

For whatever reason, I just didn't want to take meds. I thought I could heal "naturally", doing inner work, healing from the inside out, using exercise, nature, good nutrition, etc. And I have learned and grown, but it's been such a rough road. I've spent the last ten years living in what I call a toxic soup of PTSD, grief, depression, anxiety. I FINALLY went on an antidepressant earlier this year. Started on Zoloft, which I'd had before and didn't like, but she talked me into trying it again, and again, I didn't like it. It works but leaves me feeling so apathetic or something. So now I'm taking Wellbutrin and really liked it up until recently. All my symptoms have been such a drag and so scary and worrisome, and then now hitting that magical time of year where depression looms large, I'm wondering if I should ask to have it increased or to maybe take low-dose Zoloft with it or something. But back to exercise and nutrition and nature, etc....I knew I needed it and that it would help but was too depressed to get over that hump. I really needed the antidepressant. I have major "executive dysfunction". I get very overwhelmed with everything and just freeze. It's not perfect now but better. I don't walk daily, but I walk some.

So anyway, yeah, I hear you, feel you, see you. I think reaching out for solidarity and empathy helps a ton, so I hope everyone's comforted with feedback from each other. I'm sure you are. I know I am. I'm hoping for a cancer-free diagnosis in the near future so I can look forward to better, brighter days. I think for me, this year, if I get that, then I just might dance for joy all winter. But I'm sure I'll still need the antidepressant and therapy and meditation etc etc so make it through life. Big hugs to you all.

 

[Auriel]

Big hugs back @Jeans89 I do the same, do the inner work to get through things, (especially with the ptsd, when I was coming out of what’s referred to after certain situations as “the fog”, I also find the Christmas’s hard after losses, also hoping for a cancer -free diagnosis for you in the near future too

 

[Jeans89]

Big hugs back @Jeans89 I do the same, do the inner work to get through things, (especially with the ptsd, when I was coming out of what’s referred to after certain situations as “the fog”, I also find the Christmas’s hard after losses, also hoping for a cancer -free diagnosis for you in the near future too

Thank you. Big love to you. Sorry for your losses. Hang in there.

 

[Auriel]

I will. Thank you

 

[Jemima]

Hi all,

I'm back after a few days of not engaging much - sorry if I didn't reply to anyone who directed a post at me. My beloved and beautiful old dog suddenly took a downward turn recently, with terrible pain, and I had to have him put down yesterday. He was a wonderful gentle-giant guardian who kept me company living alone and remote at various points over the years, so I feel quite bereft. Very sad to say goodbye, but some peace in knowing it was the kindest choice.

I feel better mentally today, but wow, my body is screaming at me So, maximum self-care, and the pain will ease up soon enough. Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts and experiences in this thread. I think you're all brave, strong, and incredible!

 

[Jemima]

Oh gosh, I haven't read all of this thread yet, but I can definitely relate. I think I've always had a bit of a tendency toward depression - was always an "old soul", deep thinker, very empathetic. I've struggled with controlling my emotions my whole life and had some postpartum issues, etc. But the real storm came when my husband died in Oct 2011. That changed absolutely every bit of life as I knew it. Holidays are super hard. The anniversary of his death is super hard. So from Septemberish on through the holidays and then the rest of the bleak-a$$ winter, it's a serious struggle. I live in South Dakota, so the winters are harsh and long sometimes. I dread them a little more each year, I think.

For whatever reason, I just didn't want to take meds. I thought I could heal "naturally", doing inner work, healing from the inside out, using exercise, nature, good nutrition, etc. And I have learned and grown, but it's been such a rough road. I've spent the last ten years living in what I call a toxic soup of PTSD, grief, depression, anxiety. I FINALLY went on an antidepressant earlier this year. Started on Zoloft, which I'd had before and didn't like, but she talked me into trying it again, and again, I didn't like it. It works but leaves me feeling so apathetic or something. So now I'm taking Wellbutrin and really liked it up until recently. All my symptoms have been such a drag and so scary and worrisome, and then now hitting that magical time of year where depression looms large, I'm wondering if I should ask to have it increased or to maybe take low-dose Zoloft with it or something. But back to exercise and nutrition and nature, etc....I knew I needed it and that it would help but was too depressed to get over that hump. I really needed the antidepressant. I have major "executive dysfunction". I get very overwhelmed with everything and just freeze. It's not perfect now but better. I don't walk daily, but I walk some.

So anyway, yeah, I hear you, feel you, see you. I think reaching out for solidarity and empathy helps a ton, so I hope everyone's comforted with feedback from each other. I'm sure you are. I know I am. I'm hoping for a cancer-free diagnosis in the near future so I can look forward to better, brighter days. I think for me, this year, if I get that, then I just might dance for joy all winter. But I'm sure I'll still need the antidepressant and therapy and meditation etc etc so make it through life. Big hugs to you all.

Jeans89, I'm so sorry to hear of your immense loss, and everything you have journeyed through. What a survivor you are, and I'm sure those better, brighter days are coming.

Although I don't take them now, there have been a couple of points in my life where antidepressants felt like a lifeline for me too. Sometimes, we really need a chemical push to get us up and over the mountain, so that we can find ourselves on level footing again!

Thank you for sharing your story, and for such kind and compassionate words. Sending hugs back

 

[sunkacola]

Hi all,

I'm back after a few days of not engaging much - sorry if I didn't reply to anyone who directed a post at me. My beloved and beautiful old dog suddenly took a downward turn recently, with terrible pain, and I had to have him put down yesterday. He was a wonderful gentle-giant guardian who kept me company living alone and remote at various points over the years, so I feel quite bereft. Very sad to say goodbye, but some peace in knowing it was the kindest choice.

I feel better mentally today, but wow, my body is screaming at me So, maximum self-care, and the pain will ease up soon enough. Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts and experiences in this thread. I think you're all brave, strong, and incredible!

Oh Jemima. I am so very sorry. As you know I have dogs and they mean the world to me, and I know how terrible it is when the time comes that you have to say good bye. I know there's nothing I can say that will help, and this is something that those of us who choose to share our lives with members of species who don't live as long as we do have to go through, but I want you to know I understand and feel so bad for you. My heart is with you. To me, when this happens, the only consolation (if it is even that) is to remember that my companion animals never spend a day of their lives with me that they are not abundantly shown how much I love them. I am sure it is so with you as well, and your dog was lucky to have had you as a person.